woke stifler
@Yelix
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same username on bluesky | tech/games @ mashable | he/him
Brooklyn, NY
Joined February 2009
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Toriyama is forever a legend for having the shortest and baldest and weakest guy pull Android 18
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to be a white guy is a constant struggle where you think a lot of things about Japan are interesting but you don’t wanna be all weird about it
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it’s pretty funny that the game of thrones actor who’s had by far the most success after that show is pedro pascal, who is in GOT for about 5 minutes before dying hilariously
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a statue of Goku would have more historical and educational value than any statue of any Confederate figure
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they’re just vibing man who cares if like 28 people don’t wanna have iPhones
Ok but when are we going to make contact with North Sentinel Island? Are we going to have Mars colonies and trans human cyborgs but just keep a bunch of people in a pre bronze age bubble until the end of time?
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this is silly but i’m a little floored every time i listen to “stacy’s mom.” what should be a dumb novelty track is instead one of the most mathematically perfect pop songs of my lifetime
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Amazing how many cruel things we consider "normal" can actually be ended on a whim
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my main problem with discord replacing reddit/forums is that if i have a problem with my router, i don’t wanna go join the router club and talk to router guys about it. i just wanna read a thread from 8 months ago where someone figured it out
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jar jar binks’s dad’s name is just george and his backstory is really fucked up
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nothing in breaking bad is more dated (even if it’s era-appropriate) than skyler’s insane moral objection to weed
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if Elden Ring is gonna be your first Souls game, a word of advice: you can just run past enemies like 90% of the time. that’s been true in all of these games
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this shot is really great. at first you see anakin and you think “ah! a good guy” and then they remind you that he’s actually a bad guy
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i think that we as a society are slowly losing the battle against people who think it's ok to pull out their phones at the movie theater and we need to fight back
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Shogun is a good example of why we need more media in this country that’s willing to outright say “Christians are kinda weird”
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for some reason in 9th grade sex ed class the teacher made it a point to say “smoking weed won’t make you better at sex” and a stoner guy got so angry he got up and left the room
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The main thing I got out of Dune Part 2 is that Paul is the good guy and the stuff he does is good
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i mean this sincerely: beto o'rourke becoming the guy who just curses at republicans in public is the best move he could've made for his career
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panic at the disco used to be music for theater kids and now it’s music for theater kids who got into multilevel marketing schemes as adults
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i think Martin Scorsese would recognize Goku if you showed him a picture. he would know who Goku is
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the Pokemon people made a bread dog and named it Fidough. i mean come on now
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David Hogg’s mentions are the worst place on twitter right now. Blue MAGA viciously tearing down a guy who simply watched his classmates die and wants something done about it
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one of my favorite maneuvers as an adult is “just get in bed for a while”
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for the record i believe the two coolest crimes ever committed on US soil were the DB cooper hijacking and the max headroom signal intrusion stunt
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Really excited for a lot of people to find out Morpheus has been canonically dead since like 2007 or something because of an in-game event in The Matrix Online
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succession discourse is awesome to follow without watching the show because every monday morning there are 900 images of some guy standing in an office in a way that apparently makes people sob uncontrollably
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The thing about avoiding Tesla in favor of Ford or Hyundai or whatever else is not that those other companies are necessarily “good” or “ethical.” But, very importantly, they are “car companies”
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Final Fantasy XIV is cool because you’ll group up with 3 other people and their character names will invariably be stuff like:
- Lilith Flameweaver
- Ryoko Inuyasha
- Pinball Greg
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there should be a new Austin Powers movie made with the same overly reverent tone of the new Ghostbusters movies
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Joe Biden has issued an executive order stating that people who work on the computer can take the day off whenever something bad happens
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Anyone who thinks Hank Hill would vote for Trump has, and I’m putting this generously for the sake of politeness, an incomplete understanding of King of the Hill
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many viral dating posts can be summed up as “i decided to be cruel to someone who reached out to me across the void of loneliness in slightly the wrong way and should be applauded for it”
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Chalamet’s career would benefit a lot from some director realizing that, like Gyllenhaal, he’s just more believable as a weird creepy snake than a prettyboy leading man
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@curtofranklin
one time in high school science class there was a unit on Pangaea and someone asked “why did nobody ever take a picture of it”
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It’s so cool that there were Three Stooges and Gilligan’s Island and Addams Family games for NES. Timeline-wise that’s sorta like if someone had made a Cheers game for PS4
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still so funny that last jedi was like “any ol’ nobody has the power to save the galaxy” and rise of skywalker was like “jk there are 3 families in this entire universe”
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this is one of the funniest things i’ve ever seen. i have to stop looking at it because it’s making me giggle like a child
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Homer stans can't be reasoned with...they can't see that Bart's bad behavior is learned and not ingrained
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it is crazy how quickly that changed. we went from the era of DARE to me talking openly about edibles around my parents in, like, 10 years
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remember when activision made a miraculous tony hawk 1+2 remake that everyone loved and sold really well and the dev team was working on 3+4 until activision was like “nah you do diablo now”
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“game developers suffer when you give their games low scores” is a case for unionization, not more positive reviews
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[me when i see it spelled “magick] Oh hell yes. This is the real fantasy shit. There’s a cloth map for this
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we gotta put dragon ball z back on daytime TV so kids see that instead of whatever this is
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it’s so funny that disney has this massive universe with thousands of years of lore to play with but every story inevitably is about the same four people over the same 20 year period
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weed should be free. you should be able to get it with a library card
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bashing fans is one of the very best things a work of popular fiction can do. “fans” as they exist in the current media landscape are pond scum
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reading this and becoming my dad about it. what is wrong with these people
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the spirit bomb is awesome because it’s conceptually beautiful and really cool/inspiring every time they do it, and it almost never works
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“hey why isn’t basically the main guy in the new movie”
“well he got shot in an alleyway in a video game you can’t legally play anymore. sorry boss there’s nothing we can do”
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I respect people who only play Hitman in a suit with a silenced pistol but I feel strongly that those games are not about being cool. they are about being Bugs Bunny
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hey just a heads up maybe read a few paragraphs of the trump courthouse guy’s blog post before comparing him to aaron bushnell
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many, many people fail this test every day. perhaps you are one of them. it’s time to sit and reflect
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one of the very few times in my life when i’ve felt smarter than everyone around me was when all of my high school classmates said this movie was bad
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also we’ve repeatedly made contact with them and they respond with indiscriminate violence every time. at a certain point it’s not worth the effort
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killing major bosses gives you enough xp to level up like 5 times, it’s far more worthwhile than struggling with the same group of skeletons over and over
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they just sprinted at each other and collided like this like the beginning of a Yakuza boss fight
Martin Scorsese and Robert De Niro at the 2023 Tribeca Film Festival.
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gonna echo what a lot of folks are saying re: Activision Blizzard: none of that gets fixed without a union, straight up. you can punish bad actors or put new people in charge but workers without a seat at the table will always be vulnerable
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They’ll hold you up as a golden figurehead and then turn you into a villain the second you stop toeing the party line and demand more. Sick, sick people
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when super conservative Facebook pages post things like this and they're bordering on the edge of an epiphany
http://t.co/vlteH12dEF
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The best thing about Assassin’s Creed Valhalla is when the Vikings roll up to the British shoreline and see a worship ceremony and they’re like “wait these freaks worship their god’s corpse?”
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A lot of people think The Matrix is just an action movie but there’s a lot of deeper stuff in there. Like the part where you hear “Dragula” for 30 seconds
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I guess my point is if you willingly buy a Tesla in 2024, when every major brand is making its own EVs that are almost certainly better, you’re probably stupid
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it’s very hard to have any faith in a political party that’s failed every test of your lifetime, never learned anything along the way, and condescended to you every time you’ve suggested a different solution
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The
#Barbenheimer
conversation is heating up on Twitter. We’ll see what happens at the box office this weekend. But one thing's for sure – they’re both blockbusters on Twitter!
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If I want a car I would prefer for it to be built by a company that has been making cars reliably for a very long time
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is this the greatest character entrance in the history of fiction? certainly in the conversation
Sometimes I just gotta watch a DBZ clip in the morning to get in that mindset
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the most insane thing about the Mario movie is that Brian Tyler wrote a bunch of really nice arrangements of Mario music and the movie goes out of its way to NOT use them at every opportunity
Fun fact: The Super Mario Bros. Movie's composer had to fight to use the Super Star theme for the film's climactic fight instead of Van Halen's "Jump".
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there is no common ground or humanity to be found in people who laugh about school shootings. don't treat them as equals
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@jmrivera02
I love that our only shield against fascist takeover is a party that doesn’t believe in anything
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are modern parents actually afraid of sleepovers? that sucks if so. staying up until 3am pounding dr peppers and playing DBZ Budokai 3 builds character
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you can’t put a lampshade on your head at a house party anymore due to the woke mob and such
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neurodivergent eldest daughters with bad gut health have seized the capital and released a list of demands
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i think the hogwarts legacy coverage i'm most interested in would be from people who haven't been waiting their whole lives for an open world harry potter rpg
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please reply with your favorite classic GB clips/quotes/etc, i want a thread people can revisit down the line
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we probably shouldn’t have handed hollywood over to comic book fans, the most sore winners on the planet
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i think nathan fielder has an acute understanding for how funny normal people are, often in ways they don’t realize, and that understandably makes people uncomfortable. but it’s very funny
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What MGS4 haters fail to consider is that there’s a scene where Ocelot blows up a bunch of helicopters by doing finger guns at them
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rewatching Barry from the start. it would be so chill to move to a new city and have a hot lady immediately fall in love with you even though you’re a quiet weird guy she doesn’t know anything about
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the introduction of future trunks is one of the greatest character entrances of all time. in fact i’m willing to say it’s THE best one
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the max headroom one is especially great because the only "harm" it did was cause a bunch of people in chicago to miss a few minutes of doctor who
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shout out to taika waititi for supporting johnny depp on IG the same day they announced season 2 of the pirate show. master class in “hopefully they don’t notice this”
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the homie
@TristanACooper
posted the video of this yesterday
I wonder if the new Matrix movie will address the supposedly-canon The Matrix Online game from 2005, where Morpheus is shot dead in an alley by a creepy assassin
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remember when marvel made like four netflix shows with very loose ties to the movies, and then obliterated them from the public consciousness because the parent company started a new streaming app
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lord of the rings is cool but final fantasy is cooler. they should spend $800 million on a TV show about that instead
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