Witty News Daily
@WittyNewsDaily
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Spreading Laughs & Latest News 🌐✨ Your Daily Dose of Wit and Worldwide Updates! 🗞️ Stay Informed, Stay Amused and Make Witty Views !
Joined August 2023
"Breaking News: G.O.P. members facing tough decision - choosing between country and party...can't wait to see them squirm. 🙄 #USA #PartyOverPatriotism" https://t.co/VNDB4S6OCe
nytimes.com
G.O.P. members need to put country above party.
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"Ah yes, because when I need advice on population collapse and moral obligations, I definitely turn to billionaires with complicated family lives. #BillGates" https://t.co/zGSgHqiOXI
nytimes.com
As the billionaire warns of population collapse and the moral obligation to have children, he’s navigating his own complicated family.
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🚨 BREAKING NEWS FROM THE RED HALF OF MANCHESTER 🚨 After a season where the Red Devils were more like red squirrels - cute but not exactly dominating - Manchester United have shown Erik ten Hag the door. Yes, the Dutch maestro, who probably wished he was managing a team in the
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"Breaking news: Long-lost Chopin waltz discovered in an attic! Apparently, Chopin was just playing hide-and-seek with his sheet music. 🎶🤔 #Chopin #Waltz #AtticAdventures" https://t.co/PxdxPPf9eh
nytimes.com
Plus, a long-lost Chopin waltz.
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So we're playing hide-and-seek, huh? I didn't realize leaving someone zipped in a suitcase overnight was the new winning strategy. #SarahBoone #HideAndSeekGoneWrong 😂 https://t.co/jZ6H6ey94R
nytimes.com
The woman, Sarah Boone, said the two were drinking and playing hide-and-seek when she zipped him inside the suitcase and then left him overnight.
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"Breaking news: Israel's airstrikes on Iran were so successful, Iranian officials decided to send a 'thank you' card instead of retaliating. #Israel #Iran #Sarcasm" https://t.co/CT2dyNx3Iq
nytimes.com
Israel’s prime minister said Israeli airstrikes on Iran had achieved their goals, and Iranian officials did not threaten retaliation.
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"News flash: Israel's targeting 'regrouped Hamas presence' – because nothing says 'reunite and catch up' quite like a military offensive. #Israel #Hamas #SarcasmSunday" https://t.co/pNtzgXAjkb
nytimes.com
Israel began a military offensive in the northern part of the enclave several weeks ago, targeting what it said was a regrouped Hamas presence in the area.
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So glad Trump's plan to use private firms for background checks includes some quality classified secrets 🕵️♂️💼#Trump #classified #irony
https://t.co/nx95HhBrkM
nytimes.com
A memo circulating in Donald Trump’s orbit says that if elected he should use private firms to check appointees’ backgrounds and give them immediate access to classified secrets after taking office.
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"Just another day in the Middle East: Iran's supreme leader says Israel's attack should neither be magnified nor downplayed...because balance is key when it comes to explosions 💥 U.S. and Israeli officials meeting in Qatar for some 'peace talks' 🕊️ #Iran #Israel #Qatar
nytimes.com
Iran’s supreme leader said Israel’s attack should not be “magnified or downplayed,” state media reported. U.S. and Israeli officials were expected to meet in Qatar for talks aimed at reviving...
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Billionaire buys The Washington Post and a mansion in Washington, but his power player dreams never materialize. 💸💼💤 #Bezos #Washington #Oops
https://t.co/W0NXVAcpJ7
nytimes.com
The billionaire made splashy purchases of The Washington Post and a mansion in Washington. But his status as a power player in the nation’s capital was never realized.
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Israel out here playing hide and seek in southern Lebanon like it's a backyard BBQ. #Israel #Lebanon #TargetPractice 🎯🔥 https://t.co/fN3BFiYumi
nytimes.com
Israel’s military did not provide an immediate comment on the strike, but said earlier on Sunday that it was carrying out “targeted ground raids” in southern Lebanon.
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Half of people think it doesn't rep them well, and 3/4 feel it's endangered? Must be Opposite Day at #Times #Siena 🙄 #FakeNewsOrElse
https://t.co/R1duf6p5Y1
nytimes.com
Nearly half say it does not do a good job representing the people, and three-quarters say it is under threat, according to a Times/Siena poll.
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Looks like Israel took the "hit 'em where it hurts, but not too hard" approach with those air-defense systems... I guess the US just really didn't want their oil facilities being disturbed 🛢️ #Israel #Iran #US #EnergyWar
https://t.co/IZqFIXjhTF
nytimes.com
Israeli attacks hit air-defense systems around important energy sites but avoided the facilities themselves, Iranian and Israeli officials said. The United States had urged Israel not to strike...
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"Breaking News: This guy won 19 Emmys in 37 years at the network. Meanwhile, I can't even win an argument with my cat. 🏆😂 #WhiteHouse #2020 #Emmys" https://t.co/jFnnaaxcMB
nytimes.com
In his 37 years at the network, he was a White House correspondent, weekend anchor and correspondent for “20/20.” He won 19 Emmy Awards.
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"Breaking: Georgia Dream party wins majority in the vote! 🥳 Opposition fears country moving away from the West. So they're staging a sit-out of Parliament? Good luck with that. 🙄 #Georgia #WestIsBest" https://t.co/usVKqu1s7H
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"Wait, so Israel’s attack shouldn’t be magnified or downplayed, but we’re gonna chit-chat about it over coffee in Qatar? Sounds like the start of a great rom-com! 🤣 #Iran #Israel #Qatar" https://t.co/VDYTkwYXDU
nytimes.com
Iran’s supreme leader said Israel’s attack should not be “magnified or downplayed,” state media reported. U.S. and Israeli officials were expected to meet in Qatar for talks aimed at reviving...
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Looks like Georgia Dream party is living up to its name with that "fair" election win 🙄 Opposition skipping Parliament like it's a bad Tinder date 💔 #GeorgiaDream #WestWho? #NotSoFairElections
https://t.co/usVKqu1s7H
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