*waving at the 2 people reading my tweets Sup sluts?

Yo 'Ye no!

Turning off the nightstand lamp to read a non-screen book in the dark. Just me?

College neighbor just turned up music w/bass loud enough I can hear it at 3 am on a Sunday night. Going to be a long week or two if nobody over there works.

Feeling perfect in bed til sudden hot flash be like “Turn off the heat, open everything!” Instantly “Damn muthfukr, it’s freezing in here! Shut those & turn on the gotdam heat!”

Ankle monitor guy is free & wants to mambo 69. I mean, he said I'm still pretty.

Banana & beet juice or peppermint ice-cream bar in chocolate? That wasn’t really a question. #snackoptions

I changed the radio station from Mele Kalikimaka to Highway to Hell. In case you’re wondering where the holiday spirit is taking me.

The best part about tweeting after a hiatus is no one knows you’re here. In other words, no one will know you made the snow yellow.

When sex story guy tries to add a new chapter to his book & wants you to revisit the past. Fake your own death?

I think we all know what needs to happen when you find a crumpled spider 🕷️ in your bed🔥🏠

You know your guided meditation failed to relax you when you come out of it gripping the remote like dick trying to get away.

Lovely 2 hr nap on the couch before bed will keep me up indefinitely. Whatchu doin?

Hardest part of my day is getting out of a warm, safe bed Getting closer to work is akin to impending doom.

Less words more pictures.

Season of the Witch black candle w/crystals, dark amber & herbs to go with all the hauntings on youtube. Pretending I'm not alone.

The neighbors are so quiet, I wonder if they’re alive.

Lazy day off work. But in my defense, I did eat dinner!

Dick-aged kids next door are tossing 30 lb pumpkins in the street. Maybe they don’t know it’s the middle of the night.

Time to leave the safety of my couch to find out what the world will drop on me today.

Dudes wearing woolen Xmas sweaters in shorts 😂