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William Angus Profile
William Angus

@WillAngus_

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7,276
Following
65
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0
Statuses
23
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@WillAngus_
William Angus
4 months
My wife keeps losing her wedding ring at the bar lol! She’d lose her damn head if it wasn’t screwed on 🤣🤣🤣
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@WillAngus_
William Angus
10 months
Just executed a flawless Clog & Jog (Clog toilet -> demand a different hotel room)
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@WillAngus_
William Angus
1 year
Had to rush my dog to the vet this morning. I don’t know what’s wrong with her but her poop tastes really weird
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@WillAngus_
William Angus
1 year
My email with my full name that I’ve had since 13 is unusable. It is a rotting carcass filled with maggots. 100 emails a day about god knows what. Someone from Iran logs into it once a week and changes the password. It’s time to pull the plug
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@WillAngus_
William Angus
7 months
Business Idea: A bar of soap that’s 7x bigger than a normal bar so you only have to wash your hands once a week
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@WillAngus_
William Angus
1 year
To the people that think it’s “hilarious” to piss and poop all over the toilet seats at the bar: guys like me have to wipe up with our bare hands and rub it on our tummies. Grow up.
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@WillAngus_
William Angus
1 year
I’m gonna be the uncle that asks to hold the new born baby and they say “uhhh she’s actually really tired right now”
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@WillAngus_
William Angus
1 year
Oh I was a “burden to my family,” huh? Ok hot shot, then why did my parents say if it wasn’t for me they would’ve gotten divorced way sooner?
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@WillAngus_
William Angus
1 year
After pissing in my friend’s backyard: “Yo where’s your febreeze?”
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@WillAngus_
William Angus
1 year
Cops in horror movies are useless Woman: please officer help Cop: it’s probably just old pipes in your house ma’am Woman: my daughter was skinned alive in her room Cop: probably a draft from the open window. Ma’am, don’t call again unless you’re in real danger
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@WillAngus_
William Angus
1 year
I am rage incarnate (my tummy hurts)
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@WillAngus_
William Angus
7 months
@isaiah22345 The technology just isn’t there yet
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