Where in Hell?!
@WhereInHell
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If Dante had Twitter. Devising ironic punishments to build into hell’s floor plan. A new comedy account, new post every day
Joined August 2022
In hell, bank tellers have all their possessions tied to their desks by a beaded string.
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In hell, people who spam a group chat with plugs have to make friends with the algorithm.
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Blazing-fast image creation – using just your voice. Try Grok Imagine.
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In hell, Ancient Romans have to explain all of their original cultural ideas to a Greek.
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In hell, Roland Barthes is bullied by all of the dead authors.
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In hell, the guy who invented trick reigniting candles is burnt on a pyre of them.
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In hell, Boris Johnson must always tell the truth, but only gets asked about his favourite pokemon.
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In hell, you can still be an accomplished nepo baby - but you must remain forever a baby.
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In hell, past Frankie Boyle follows present Frankie Boyle around, heckling his socialist speeches by calling him fugly.
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In hell, flatmates who leave passive agressive post-it notes are actively aggressed by their stationery.
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In hell, amateur swimmers who do backflips between lengths can only change direction with a cartwheel.
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In hell, people who serve you cold drinks in a mug have to use chopping boards to eat soup.
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In hell, people who always speak over you have to attend dinner parties with 10 of their clones.
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In hell aggressive drivers have their throats replaced with car horns.
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In hell, birds are woken up by people screaming at their face in the morning.
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In hell, IT guys can only contact their family through helpdesks.
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In Hell, people who crack the spines of books get folded in half and discarded on a grimy bedside table.
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In Hell, ticket touts are last in the queue to get in and have to pay for everyone ahead of them.
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In Hell, people who don’t return library books on time are placed in dewey decimal cells and not let out until a librarian checks them out.
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In hell, in jobs that don't advertise salary, the employees get to pick their own hours.
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