Victoria Coren Mitchell
@VictoriaCoren
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writer, broadcaster and poker player
London
Joined April 2009
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Day 16. I'll be honest, I'm praying Richard will go home soon. But I totally understand why he feels he can't. I admire his determination beyond words. Still, I'm hoping someone powerful will stand up and say: "It's OK Richard. We're on it. We'll take it from here."
#FreeNazanin
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We went to see Richard Ratcliffe on day 9 of his hunger strike. The ongoing torment of this innocent family is a failure of British democracy in its core aim: to protect its citizens. Nazanin must come home. How on earth will we reverse climate change if we can’t even fix this?
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He made it count, didn't he, old Captain Tom? For all those worrying about how much time we'll have lost when this ghastly crisis finally ends, what an inspiring reminder that you might be 99 years old and still have some of your greatest adventures ahead of you.
RIP.
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That was a wonderful speech from the king. I think we’re very lucky. These are accidents of birth and he didn’t need to be intelligent, articulate, wise or kind, but he is.
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Wait so is the new rule “Follow your instincts”? Hold my beer.
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Here’s Barry Cryer at our wedding. How young we all were! Except Barry, obviously.
I was so proud to have him there, and it made my father feel closer. He was a lovely lovely man and this is a very sad day.
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Let’s not pretend this is a good day for women. I hope my neighbour Nazanin, in court alone without British Embassy support, will be treated more gently and respectfully by the Iranian authorities than the mourners at Clapham Common were treated by ours.
Happy mothers’ day. 💐
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There’s a child who thought her mother was coming home today after five years. But another trial is announced for next Sunday. Maybe that means our government has a week to figure out how to make the right thing happen?
I know we are all sending love to that family.
#FreeNazanin
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People are pointing out I was wearing the same dress on Only Connect and WILTY… but like I said, the OC was a repeat, from several years ago! I didn’t know it would be on. And let’s be honest, the convention that women on TV shouldn’t be seen in the same clothes twice is daft.
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I’m amazed by Dave & Anne Merritt, parents of one of the two clearly wonderful people who were killed in London, pushing forward those youngsters’ message of love, trust, kindness and hope. In our angry divisive times, thank God for all these examples of the best in human spirit.
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Sometimes, a handful of unhappy people decide to attack our quiz contestants for being unconventional. Best ignored. The OC studio is a place of love, fun, teamwork and spirited competition among equals, and that is what 99.9% of our viewers see. ON WITH THE QUESTIONS, PLEASE. ❤️
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A man just cycled past me on a Boris bike as I was walking with the pram, and I saw him do a huge noisy hawk at the back of his throat and spit a gobbet onto the pavement and I reflected, not for the first time, that it’s probably just as well I’m not allowed to carry a gun.
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Oh
@TrussLiz
, you can’t tweet “family and friends can reunite” in that jolly way, just hours after meeting a man who is literally *starving himself* to try and get his tortured family reunited - and no mention of that meeting?
Please please say you will help the Ratcliffe family.
No countries will be on the red list from 1/11. This is fantastic news and a big day for international travel to 🇬🇧.
📈 Boost for business
🤝 Families & friends can reunite
🏖️ Confidence in safe international travel rises
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Thanks very much for the nice messages. I’m sorry my birthday coincides with such terribly sad news about the brilliant, blazingly talented Sean Lock. What an incredible comic force. RIP.
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In all seriousness:
At such a strange time, going into Christmas with so much hope and fear about, I feel like all four of these dancers and all six of these dances have conveyed the power and triumph of the human spirit. Well done all of them, and thank God.
👏
❤️
#Strictly
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Many people are assuming my tweet yesterday was a Halloween costume. Not at all; last week I had a baby and nothing currently fits me except cloaks. Luckily, Only Connect is a pre-record. Happy All Saints Day! ❤️
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Day 21. Richard Ratcliffe has stood up and gone home.
If his heroism has helped you understand what a diplomatic mess we’re in, please contact your MP before Tuesday’s parliamentary debate secured by
@TulipSiddiq
and ask them to demand a resolution.
#FreeNazanin
#FreeAnoosheh
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My husband says “It should actually be Old Goosepimples Arm. ‘Goose bumps’ is an Americanism.”
So that’s our pillow talk sorted for the weekend.
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I'm not saying my hands have dried out from excessive washing, but I just looked proudly down at my new pair of lizard-skin gloves before remembering I don't own any.
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Dear Secretary of State,
Is there anything else we could be doing to get our nationals back, just in case the president of Iran doesn’t follow you on Twitter?
This is the 4th anniversary of Morad Tahbaz’s unfair detention in Iran.
Iran must release him and all unfairly detained British nationals to allow them to return to their families. This appalling ordeal must be brought to an end.
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I was just about to tweet something and I asked my husband: “Is this funny?”
He had a look and replied, “It’s a totally functional joke.”
I won’t tweet it.
This could be a long six months.
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I worry that this year I’ve gone too sexy.
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I just referred to Julius Caesar as an emperor and my 5 year old child told me he wasn’t one. I think this might be a lifetime low point for my intellectual confidence.
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Also on Only Connect we'll be asking if Jews count as an ethnic minority.
NO WE WON'T. BECAUSE WE ASK DIFFICULT QUESTIONS, NOT F***ING MORONIC ONES.
#PoliticsLive
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Oh dear, I think something deeply depressing is coming at 8 o’clock.
But if you don’t feel like watching Only Connect, there’s a government announcement on the other channel.
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It’s the last night of Christmas! I feel sad. Mainly sad that I married someone who REFUSES to accept that Twelfth Night is the 6th of January. I am now angrily eating ten mince pies to make sure they are finished “in time”.
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This is not OK.
Richard Ratcliffe and I have come out of our meeting with the Foreign Office Minister, who had just met his Iranian counterpart.
It was hard to watch my constituent in visible distress as it became clear that there was no real breakthrough and nothing new to report.
#FreeNazanin
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Richard Ratcliffe is exhausted, freezing and he hasn't eaten for 15 days.
@ClaudiaWinkle
and I are going back to see him tomorrow. If you're nearby and would like to join us to express love and support, we'll be at the FCDO building, King Charles Street, SW1A 2AH at 11am.
#Family
Today, Richard was joined by all his siblings, parents and daughter. Our campaign is a family campaign and we will not rest until Nazanin is back with us.
#Day14
#HungerStrike
#FreeNazanin
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I’ve always said that about poets: they have *too much power*.
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I don't usually tweet about world events - but my daughter used to play with Gabriella Ratcliffe, who is six years old and whose mummy has been in prison for five years. She never did anything wrong; it's just politics. All they want is to be back together, having a cuddle.
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The alarm went off on my phone but not David’s. DOES THE GOVERNMENT WANT HIM DEAD? I always thought he might be a spy.
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I’ve come to do The Last Leg, booked weeks ago, not anticipating the saddest and scariest story of our lifetime. Not sure how this will go. But look what magnificent lady is here as well ❤️ 💃🏿
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Oh lord, is it? I’ve got enough to do hoovering up the pine needles.
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Dear oh dear oh dear. First it looks like we’ll be stuck in the UK all summer again because it’s too complicated to go anywhere. Now it turns out Only Connect will be showing the whole time. IS THERE NO ESCAPE FROM THIS NIGHTMARE?
New series starts Monday July 12th on
@BBCTwo
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As you probably know, BBC comedy shows are suspended during this period of national mourning, which is a delicacy I like. At such a sad and sombre time, it can feel wrong to try and make people laugh or even smile.
Only Connect will be broadcast as normal.
8pm tonight, BBC Two.
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Hello! Here's a thing from me about an episode of Only Connect.
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15 years today. But he enjoyed every cigarette until they got him.
RIP ❤️🕯
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When the Internet says “Sweden is the world's best country at Wordle, with an average score of 3.72”, are those words in Swedish? Swedish has a much smaller vocabulary. But if they’re also competing in English we might as well give up everything and hand Sweden the keys.
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In future decades, it will be a great quiz fact that Liz Truss spoke at the Queen’s funeral.
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I had my Covid jab yesterday, and I think I’m now suffering the effect that everyone describes as “a bit like having a hangover”. But it’s hard to tell because, coincidentally, I also have a hangover.
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My husband said this morning: “It’s fine for you to talk about Meghan Markle. But every minute you do, I want the equivalent time to talk about the Hapsburgs”.
I’ve gone quiet but the effort is killing me.
I just showed him this tweet and he said “It’s Habsburg”.
#Crapsburg
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Oh goodness that is awfully sad news about lovely, lovely Una Stubbs. I was lucky enough to interview her and we had dinner a couple of times after that. She was so sweet, gentle and lovable. Here I am all huge next to her delicate little charming self.
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Jeremy Hardy was so special and brilliant and mischievous, a miracle of a person. I loved him a lot. He was so kind when my father died. My dad admired him enormously. It’s so sad.
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I was so convinced I’d be annoyed by the Barbie film. I’m a dick. It’s brilliant. Two steps ahead of everything I thought they’d get wrong.
As a noted intellectual, I will of course also be going to see Oppenheimer, as soon as my doctor reveals I have 400 years to live.
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I’m not saying I’m a clumsy cook, but who sets fire to a potato peeler?!
Whatever you’re doing or not doing, be glad you’re not dining at my house; happy Christmas.
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I’m so looking forward to the return of Have I Got News For You tonight. It’s an experimental technique and I guess might be bumpy, but *whatever it’s like* I think it’s so great they pushed through and did it. Proud to live in a country where making jokes is essential work!
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Hurray for the Queen! I thought that speech was terrific. 👑
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This is an excellent idea. And one for Tim Brooke-Taylor as well. ❤️
Family back plaque for Barry Cryer in Mornington Crescent station
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I swear I could have counted them myself by now
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Very sad news today about someone I adored. I was lucky enough to meet her once, at a carol service six years ago. In this picture I was secretly expecting my daughter Barbara.
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Quickly think of a good name for a titled billionaire’s lover....
No, this is better.
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This is just brilliant and heartfelt rhetoric from
@DavidLammy
. My grandparents came here too. If we’re not British, I don’t know what we are.
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I CAN’T DECIDE WHICH ONE I’M MORE ATTRACTED TO.
Official opening night tonight! I’ve seen two previews and I think it’s great.
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Hi Arron! I don't think you should be reported or silenced for implying you hope a child dies in a boating accident. I believe in comic freedom and I accept that it was a joke, however horrible the subject matter.
But you take a different view, don't you?
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In case you’re not finding the summer gruelling enough: Only Connect will return to
@BBCTwo
on Monday, 29th August.
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Delighted to see the woman in this advert has ignored its ridiculous message.
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Finally visiting London Zoo again, after all these months! Feels totally safe, huge open spaces, like a quiet park. A QUIET PARK WITH GIBBONS IN IT. Happy birthday to me! 🎈
#IKnowThatsNotAGibbon
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I just made a secret decision to treat myself to the first Creme Egg of the year! Hurried furtively from the shop, unwrapped it in excitement… and I’d bought a WHITE one by mistake. What a living hell.
And as if that wasn’t bad enough, Only Connect is on tonight.
8pm
@BBCTwo
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I mean… this is also pretty well put 😂 🏆
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I can’t stop thinking about Ben Nicholson who lost his family in Sri Lanka. I wonder how he can bear it. I’m sure millions of people feel the same. Literally millions, sending him prayers and sympathy and love. I doubt it makes any difference, but still, I hope he can feel it.
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Sorry, just clarify for me again: what is it I do if I haven’t got a computer…?
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I must say, I do think Roy Orbison asks the question a little late in proceedings.
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Now everyone’s vegan, why not relaunch Spud-U-Like? That was a chain ahead of its time.
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When reflecting on 20 years of history, it would be remiss of us not to highlight this moment.
In 2006,
@VictoriaCoren
lived the fairy tale by winning £500K at her local cardroom. 🏆🎉
It's arguably not her biggest achievement at the EPT table... 🤔
#TheBig20
#PSAnniversary
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As a free-speech devotee, I think Laurence Fox should definitely keep broadcasting, but restrict his comments solely to whether or not he'd shag people in the news. All people. Suella Braverman, King Charles, passers-by stopped in the street and asked their opinions about ULEZ...
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Beautifully said
@PatricKielty
You've got to love Patrick Kielty,
he nailed his closing words on Israel / Palestine on The Late Late show
For those unaware his Dad John was shot dead by the UFF during The Troubles in N Ireland
He knows what he's talking about and his words were powerful here. Kudos to him!
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Nazanin is due to be released on Sunday. Please watch to see if that happens. The UK government could put this right. Too many innocent women are in prison, who just want to hold their children again.
#FreeNazanin
#BringThemHome
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I think this is true. It’s hard for press and politicians to see it clearly, because they’re trapped inside their own relationship with the news. They don’t understand that most people just see a load of programmes they love. It’s not a professional threat, it’s a comfort.
The BBC is revered, respected and envied around the world. It should be the most treasured of National treasures. Something true patriots of our country should be proud of. It should never be a voice for those in government whoever is in power.
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Who’s in the mood for a difficult contest between two teams, likely to end in gloom and disappointment, kicking off at 8pm?
Only Connect returns
@BBCTwo
.
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Surely there should just be one Ho on each dog?
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I am so sorry to hear of the death of Bamber Gascoigne. I always hoped to meet him but never did. No quiz host has ever seemed more like they could answer all the questions themselves. With his gentle manner and great brain, what a wonderful team mate he would have been. RIP.
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Today, I’m annoyed when people say “staycation” to mean a holiday in Tenby, Cornwall or Skye instead of Spain. We’d better start getting over the idea that a holiday has to involve schlepping abroad in a great guff of greenhouse gas or it doesn’t count.
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Rod Stewart and Jools Holland have phoned into the Jeremy Vine show (on Radio 2 now) to discuss their model railways. They weren’t booked, they just PHONED IN! This is top top TOP radio!
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If you were going to think of a name for a child’s party dress, what would you NOT call it?
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When is Black Friday? If only some of the major retail companies would email and tell me.
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This, in my view, is a strange headline to have in the paper today of all days.
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Today
@TrussLiz
met my neighbour Richard Ratcliffe, father of 7-year-old Gabriella and husband of Nazanin who is still trapped in Iran. Richard is now desperate and on hunger strike. It’s heartbreaking. A British family is being tortured in front of us.
(1/2)
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Wonderful advert. Cok, that’s what I love. I love Cok.
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While I’m here, might take a moment to mention I also love
@JimmyCarr
, a close friend who’s made about a thousand jokes I wouldn’t make myself, as a stage performer, but as a man is full of goodness and kindness. He’s a properly decent person.
Anyway, ROBOBUNNY.
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Look at this ridiculous magical person. OF COURSE she’d turn up with a beautiful eco-garden at the Chelsea Flower Show and have previously won gold. She’s like Mary Poppins. I bet if I’d left the show and dived under the sea she’d have been there too, taking tea with mermaids.
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Tonight is the final of Taskmaster! WILL I BE THE WINNER?
No, no obviously I won't be.
@Channel4
9pm
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You realise his mistake, of course? *Not enough palindromes*.
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I’m very much enjoying my new departure, which is to have Tia Maria with lunch. And when I say with lunch, I mean as lunch.
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*drumroll* Only Connect will be coming back to BBC Two on Monday July 17th! Earlier than usual this year. It's a very jolly new series; hope you enjoy it.
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The biggest obstacle to eating moderately, I find, is the sense I’ve had ever since becoming a parent that food somehow needs *tidying away*. Just for neatness. I swear if half-finished jigsaws weren’t so chewy, I’d swallow them as well.
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Many people are asking how much I had to be paid to wear that. It’s not that kind of show! God bless the person who referred to a “wardrobe department”. No no. That’s what I turned up wearing, and the programme-makers allowed me to go on. (But I know they were secretly pleased).
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It was a great pleasure to meet
@jessphillips
tonight. I am slightly drunk but there is no denying this woman is extremely good news. She’s just great in about 8 different ways.
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Regular followers might know that I feel awkward discussing my appearance, and NONE OF IT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH TASKMASTER! But I will now reveal that for tonight's Only Connect special, and *for this entire OC series*, my inspiration has been the marvellous Moira Rose.
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This is such a great message from Jonah Hill. I wore swimsuits with a skirt, FFS! Like it was 1860! And now I look back and think I looked lovely, *apart from the ridiculous costume*. Truth is, whatever you look like, in ten years you’ll look back and realise you were beautiful.
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