Velma
@Velma
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Following
914
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@realDonaldTrump
You are a despicable piece of filth, doomed to go down in history as the worst president in the history of the country.
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I admit my bias, but watching Kavanaugh angrily tear up, he appears angry and sorry for HIMSELF. Also, no way did he "never" blackout. Gimme a break.
#KavanaughHearings
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@JillyBallistic
@realDonaldTrump
THIS. So much THIS. Thanks
@JillyBallistic
for the best line of the night.
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Husband just called to tell me daughter's performance was over. I pointed out he had 9 minutes to make it to the liquor store. Priorities...
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Another one of our book-based Halloween (and movie-watching) costumes
#WorldBookDay
@jk_rowling
http://t.co/uEZJnN7w70
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@realDonaldTrump
You are a disgusting fear-monger, and I'm looking forward to all the criminal charges coming your way.
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Watching "Blazing Saddles" with my son seems like a perfect way to spend the last day before school starts.
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Things I love in DC: pantyhose on young women, only because HA HA I'm too old to care or be forced into it by my job.
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And another one of my girl's book character Halloween costumes...
#WorldBookDay
@michaelwbuckley
#crazyredridinghood
http://t.co/98RmzfQCqL
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My girl got home from musical theater intensive, slept for 16 hours, got up for a voice lesson, and is back in bed!
#berklee
#trulyintense
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Can't believe clown hysteria has reached the point where I got a robocall about it from the school district!
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Minecraft Creeper hoodie is great, but a better present was letting him stay home from school to hang with me today. :)
http://t.co/DOHbzl25
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Just found a crumpled up list in my girl's room titled "Reasons Mom is Really a Robot."
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Husband insisted on "Time Traveler's Wife" as our date night movie. I'm thinking he either needs to get laid or is hitting menopause.
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Tonight's crazy meltdown? Triggered by the fact that 3 peers are being taught LATIN as part of a gifted pull-out group but not her. She's 9!
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Sitting on my ass eating raw cookie dough w/ daughter while watching "The Muppet Movie." Sometimes it's nice to make it up as we go along.
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@ClumberKim
We never lost power, but the kids had no school Tue-Fri. Now we are looking at another FOOT of snow on Monday...!!
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@schmutzie
Yikes! Everybody is peeking out from behind their blogger anonymity these days! It's making me crazy!
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RT my tweet from earlier: Have you seen this video yet? BEST WEDDING TOAST EVAH:
http://tinyurl.com/5dzusu
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Trying to keep the boy's head from exploding with excitement. (Ben10 marathon on Cartoon Network this afternoon. Whee!)
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RT
@LisaStone
Happy July 4. In honor of ... what we are building in the USA, I offer up
@goonsquadsarah
's latest piece:
http://is.gd/1nCQi
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@carolynbee
My favorite line from CC? Stopped for speeding: "Officer, am I far enough off the road for your safety?" Love our GENES!
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Husband just called from a bar in Boston while I'm sitting here with the cranky twins. He sucks.
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@realDonaldTrump
You are a fucking disgrace to our country. I can hardly wait for your prison sentence.
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The free
@digg
app's here for iPhone! They're giving out a custom iPad each day for 2 weeks to celebrate!
http://bit.ly/diggapp
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@Sarcomical
If it keeps coming back to haunt you, it is probably something you should pay attention to. Right?
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Boggled over stories I heard from other parents today about the summer program staff's inattention to our SPED kids. Yikes. What to do?
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Wow. Actually watching the end of "Watchmen" on my own. Without my husband. Who is the one who cares about this movie. Whoa.
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@wisekaren
Sometimes lying is the honorable option... but if you tell my kids I said that, I will flat out deny I ever said such a thing.
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@annettek
Everything is great, actually! Having a low key summer, enjoying the kids and new puppy.
http://t.co/mU3UsH1n
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@RealHughJackman
March of Dimes, because one little girl can make a difference:
http://tinyurl.com/crejtg
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Tough choices for breakfast this morning - too much deliciously inappropriate food in my fridge.
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Hey! Guess what two things don't go together and cost a butt-load of money? Chocolate syrup and light brown UGGS.
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@ClumberKim
Husband was planning to go to Super Bowl, but tix pricing issue? Ugh! Worst part: can't even have a party - no parking w/ snow!
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Ever been very bummed out and yet so sick of yourself that you don't want to talk about it? And yet still want the "poor baby!"-ing?
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WTF, Twitter? How come some of my favorite peeps got on my "blocked" list?!?
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Catching up on all the Ben10 Alien Force episodes we missed while on vacation. 5 year old is in a happy stupor, so I'm good.
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@ezraklein
Darn 'tootin. Wow - Could it be that MORE information might actually make for... I dunno, a MORE INFORMED electorate?!?
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"Mom, did you know there is no spitting on the reading rug at my kindergarten?" Do I even ask him to elaborate? Or just go open the wine?
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Waking up at 7 when the kids have been sleeping in until almost 9 a.m. is highly productive. Uhm, unless you just fuck around on Twitter...
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The FWSOYWASLTWWLTT (Friends We See Once A Year And Who Always Stay Later Than We Would Like Them To) just left.
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In an hour, I will load six 13 year olds into my mini-van and head to Home Depot so they can get supplies for their project. Pray for me?
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@everybodyifollow
Hey! Can we slow down with the douche vagina girlpart talk? I can't keep up with the twattering...uhm, I mean... crap.
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Clearly a margarine container tied to a parachute made from a Target bag, right? He drew it sideways, unfortunately.
http://t.co/AbrL1a2Tna
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I need to practice my Evil Genius cackle, I think. MWAH HAH HAH HAH HAAAHHH!
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@joyunexpected
That actually is a big deal, to be strong enough 2 make your body work hard. My motto: ANYTHING active is better than before.
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@realDonaldTrump
Thanks?!?!? I would say you are a joke, but there is absolutely nothing funny about your twisted psyche and broken humanity.
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Just asked family rhetorically who was going to help me put away leftovers, and all three yelled "NOT IT!" at the same time. I'm so proud.
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I have been gone from Twitter for so long, I feel like my twmucles have atrophied.
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My consolation for extended hormonal issues? Forcing my family to watch "Sleepless in Seattle" for the kajillionth time.
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My 5 year old says he e-mailed me from the cartoon website he is playing on. He typed in "Mom" and hit send and is furious it didn't work.
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@BusyDadBlog
Are you deranged? Who the hell would be annoyed about NOT DYING A FIERY DEATH today?!?
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Ew. Just clicked over to channel & got an eyeful of Simon from RHoNYC getting a massage. Does anyone have a good eyeball scrub to recommend?
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So. When the recipe says "72 servings?" Don't ignore that, thinking it's a typo or something. I've been baking since 5:30. DONE.
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I am an Evil Genius. I gave husband a Wii game 4 his birthday that he and the kids love, thus guaranteeing myself peace for the evening...
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We are having a lovely storm, actually. Lots of snow, but not heavy. The wind blows, the lights are on, and the general feeling is cozy.
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My son, to babysitter: "Mom and I talked about puberty. I can't have kids until my junk matures." Complete with waving hand over privates.
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Shoot, I did it wrong. DAMN my grammatical correctness!
#3turnoffwords
- "Starring Adam Sandler."
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Congrats to
@ColinMcComb
and the
#Torment
team for breaking the Kickstarter $1M record... with about $1500 to go to hit $2M!!!!
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Most un-persuasive spam subject heading today: "Discount your penis by 25%." If only I had a penis to discount, Mr. Eldridge Sciubba.
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Most fun I've had in a long time? Introducing kids to MST3K. Love that they are cackling to the episodes we watched before they were around.
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@Table4Five
I have no answers for you, other than "time." My kids were both late trainers, and I think I saved myself a lot of aggravation.
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Looked in my coat pockets & under the sofa cushions, but still can't find my mojo. Did I leave it in the car? Stick it in the fridge? Hmmm.
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Am totally letting kids watch inappropriate tv downstairs so that hub & I can go watch violent movie upstairs. BEST. PARENTING. EVAH!
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WHEW! Got the iPhone to unfreeze. I couldn't handle two technology deaths today. The hard drive isn't dead yet... is there hospice for tech?
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@ameliasprout
One is, one is pretty "meh" about her still. Not unexpected, but look at this face!!
http://t.co/SZBiHHld
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I feel like I'm starting from scratch, I've been gone so long. Twitter, it's nice to re-meet y'all.
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@rockandrollmama
OK, I admit it - I kind of liked it too. Plus I maybe had some impure thoughts about a certain Wildcat.
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Fabulous. Heard gagging, son came into room and handed me a dime. Told me I needed to keep it because it "keeps falling down his throat."
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Have totally wasted my afternoon getting distracted by shiny crafty thing in my basement. Also? Twitter is tool of Satan.
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