Mikecury Retrograde 🔌
@UnbotheredMike
Followers
6,705
Following
3,027
Media
33,612
Statuses
259,814
Wholesome. laughs & lies #GirlDad 1/2 of @BlanimePodcast
Dallas, TX
Joined May 2009
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Amethi
• 174270 Tweets
Knicks
• 144074 Tweets
राहुल गांधी
• 135243 Tweets
Sixers
• 73084 Tweets
Brunson
• 71152 Tweets
憲法記念日
• 67081 Tweets
#Raebareli
• 64027 Tweets
Embiid
• 58946 Tweets
स्मृति ईरानी
• 23868 Tweets
Smriti Irani
• 23505 Tweets
Hayırlı Cumalar
• 22826 Tweets
Tobias Harris
• 22082 Tweets
Pachuca
• 21751 Tweets
ゴジラ-1.0
• 21127 Tweets
Josh Hart
• 20654 Tweets
Hield
• 17043 Tweets
KerenTIMNASKU STYdanERICK
• 16521 Tweets
Pumas
• 16100 Tweets
TetapSMANGAT GarudaMUDAKU
• 15800 Tweets
DONBELLE IN SOCCSKSARGEN
• 11392 Tweets
Last Seen Profiles
Pinned Tweet
Me if Jhene Aiko comes and starts singing to me
226
14K
56K
I know her backshot air smell like you walking past an Auntie Anne’s in the mall
Keri Hilson records herself going for a walk around the arena
987
3K
34K
1K
7K
56K
Nah he’s insane for this lmaooo
How Neyo move his arms that fast in the Knock You Down video???
5
91
647
152
8K
43K
Tory son seeing the verdict knowing he dont have to go to court no more
85
3K
18K
That first taste of twang when she come home from a 12 hour shift >>>>
453
3K
16K
“My nigga is that the new Fashion Nova tech fleece with the matching sweats?”
Me:
28
7K
14K
“Throw me in the ocean with my ancestors that jumped off the slave ships because they knew death was better than bondage...”
70
8K
14K
Bro AP really told Sean Payton
“We Ass”.
I am DEAD 💀
118
7K
10K
The Joker escaping Arkham for the 7429th time walking past Batman.
23
5K
9K
Oh well!
22
2K
9K
Being in the passenger seat while your shorty is trying to parallel park <<<
53
1K
9K
1
2K
8K
Fellas, whats the easiest way a shorty has bagged you?
This is a safe space.
1K
2K
7K
Me after a successful girls night
If you bringing your man to girls night? Can we fuck him?
3K
9K
73K
49
2K
5K
Winning the clap off vs your girl <><><><><<>>><<>
38
679
4K
Yall on Gabby and Kaepernick but isn't this yalls mans 😴🤔🤔🤔🤔
35
5K
3K
I would’ve destroyed the leaf as soon as I found out my daddy was hokage and yall had me sleeping with roaches
After Jiraiya died, Naruto should’ve became the biggest villain ever. I know I would’ve. The Left wouldn’t have had to worry about Sasuke cause I would’ve wiped them off the map
6
61
279
28
1K
3K
As soon as that feather swipe across my bootyhole
22
1K
3K
A pay raise would help my mental health
5
1K
2K
The most accurate shit I've seen on twitter to date.
28
923
2K
Pouring her natural hair products down the drain because she laughed at another man's jokes.
26
908
2K
Yall think She Hulk squirt got gamma radiation in it?
190
397
2K
When you piss your girl off and she show up with her two brothers
9
837
2K
Yall are judging me a lil but too harshly for this
7
24
2K
First day as a passenger Prince and now you stuck at sephora, ulta, and Target for 8 hours
12
442
1K
Issa fucking Daniel
Molly fucking he friends husband
Lawrence fucking depressed
The whole episode needs to be in rice.
#InsecureHBO
19
559
1K
They doing this over the stepped on Chicken Sandwich??? They would short circuit if they had the 2020 one
This is so funny. What are they feeding y’all over there in Britain?
877
2K
29K
14
252
1K
VA Cops: “Damn that sure do look like Lucky Whitehead shoplifting.”
11
741
1K
Fellas we pulling up to her job and bringing her lunch in our grey sweats wholesomely all 2018.
10
470
884
If XXXtemptation got killed in Florida but Zimmerman still walking around safe, the whole state is PUSSY.
27
353
813
First night at her crib and she give me spaghetti
13
183
846
Josh Norman says Dez Bryant, NFC East receivers are just guys; 'I'm not enhancing my craft' against them."
INTERESTING. 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
38
696
701
Finest Women by State:
1. Texas
2. California
3. Georgia
4. DMV
5. Florida
14
519
701
When y’all arguing and you call her ugly and she says she not as ugly as your hairline.
8
482
592
Women under 5'5 getting ready for a date with someone they not gonna return texts to afterwards:
33
426
532
Your WCW cant compose a thirsty tweet without misspelling “throne”.
Her baby daddy saw this tweet and rolled his eye. She 29.
32
589
533
"fLiy eEguHLz fLiy"
"wE dEm MaNzz"
"wInTs wAGgUn"
"rInGz ARunT eVreeTiNG"
"dAKk oVErrRaTIt"
"3-o ChAMpsss"
"iF wE Had DAllUs O-lInee"
22
522
501
I really waited 7 months for these niggas to look like this...
7
320
505
Id rather you pull up to the date in crocs than wedges
31
183
528
"As long as we keep the ball in Dak's hands"
6
283
501
Tristan Thompson averaging more women than points per game right now.
4
249
498
Me: “Yall let zimmerman live and let X get killed”
Yall: “You kill him then suge”
Hov: “Yall let zimmerman live and let X get killed”
Yall: ”😵😵😲😲 oh shit! Tell em Hov! “
Me:
14
341
451
Walking into your girls house and her son is looking at you
3
409
459
What Tyler gotta do with this
8
156
495
Happy Shanksgiving
TUCSON, Ariz. (AP) — Ex-police officer Derek Chauvin, convicted of killing George Floyd, has been stabbed in federal prison, AP source says.
3K
8K
57K
8
132
484
Crying watching the end of Wakanda Forever all over again
4
101
443
Anyone else find the word “consent” ironic in this article?
Roethlisberger Upset Steelers Didn't Ask For His Consent Before Drafting Quarterback
57
535
1K
18
187
403
@Guru_Jeremy
if we let you slide on this then you can let these girls slide with the natural hair
4
314
336
Pineapple Pizza is delicious and none of yall can beat my ass.
15
227
352
"I got warrants, 4 kids, i'm 6'6, no car, and i stay with my baby mama"
Females: "you're 6'6?"
3
383
295
We got cotton candy and popcorn and shit down here mayne. We all float down in this muthafucka mayne.
4
311
302
Laughing at her jokes before you beat vs after you beat.
0
179
282
When you at your white friend’s house and they hand you a glass of “sweet tea”.
6
244
277
Discovered your what bro???
Y’all been talking about it being harder to bounce back from liquor the older you get and I’m here finally discovering my Grown Man throat. I be drinking room temperature Hennessy with no reactions. I’ve finally arrived.
171
113
1K
3
166
276
If im not ERUPTING in 8 minutes please unmouth me
Y’all be suckin wee wee for 60 full minutes ?!!! OK SUPA HEAD
11
6
13
10
118
269
Your girl when you having too much fun on the TL
1
148
275
When that Q-Tip hit that perfect spot next to your brain.
2
256
250
Top 10 Cheating Women
1. Short Women
2. RN and CNA
3 . Big Titty women
4. Check Engine Light is on
5. Anime women
6. Nissan Altima
7. Light skinned
8. Amazon Leggings
9. Wears Glasses
10. Breathes Air
47
107
241
Me submitting trade offers to 1st time fantasy players
3
111
225
S/O to everyone who knows pineapple belongs on pizza. I love you.
15
129
227
20
135
233
How ridiculously horny you gotta be to tell a girl "king Arthur couldnt remove my tongue from your ass". In broad daylight
9
86
216