UG
@UgwunnaEjikem
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CR7. Lil Wayne. CFC. Humor. Wits. Banter.
Joined February 2017
So Football officially returns today, A few things:. a) I worship Ronaldo. b)I DON'T HATE Messi, it's all bants. c) I support Chelsea. d) Banter goes round, everyone will get it. e) If you can't exchange bants without insults, stay off my tweets. e)ITS REALLY NOT THAT SERIOUS.
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I see no valid reason why “death to rapists” should trigger you heavy if you don’t move like them🤷🏽♂️.
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Going from year to year without spending a night on a hospital sick bed.
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She’s divorcing cos he’s too focused on his work. Ok valid. Why is she now taking half of the proceeds of that same “focus” she doesn’t wanna be with him anymore for?. This is unfair, very very unfair.
Pep Guardiola has finalized his divorce. Reports say he lost his biggest mansion in Manchester and half of his wealth, with most of his properties now going to his wife and children. His wife claimed Pep was too focused on football and didn’t have time for the family. Pep left
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“Kendrick has more hits than Lil Wayne”. Some of you don’t deserve free oxygen tbh, you need to pay for it.
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He now has 900K .She now has 135K .You now have 5k . You are a fool♥️.
i gave you 30k, he gave you 100k, you felt that he was better just because he gave you more, but he had 1M and all i had was 35k.
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Mbappe is paying the price for his status. Nine goals & 2 assists in 13 games would be a dream start for any other striker in the world but he’s being labeled ‘flop’ cos he’s…Kylian Mbappe. I’ve seen this before lol.
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Burning Davido’s infinix posters because of his Mosque video is not enough…. I hereby call on every true Arewa to smash their infinix phones so he can really get the message.
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DSS came & snatched the phone of a reporter here cos she was videoing events including them, she raised an alarm, boys barricaded their Sienna, collected the girl's phone back & made sure they didn't delete any of her videos. No intimidating or harrassing women on our watch!!✊.
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Mum got married as a nurse, today she’s a consultant public health physician. Few years after her wedding, she entered Medical School, finished it, went on to do residency & secured jobs all with the full support of my Dad. Don’t blame ‘marriage’, blame who you marry.
Marriage is really one of the biggest setbacks for women and I wish they’d see that. Woah.
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I worked in two prisons including the 2nd biggest one in the South East as a 'Prison Doctor' for one year & I can bet my life that no jailbreak can be successful without the help of Prison Staff. Weyrey should stop disguising. #EndSARS.
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A reminder that Mbappe’s father offered him to Cameroon before France but Cameroonian officials asked for a hefty bribe before they’ll let him play & so he went with France cos no money. Bribery & corruption has finished Africa.
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Just read the Governor of Borno clamour for the redeployed SARS officers to be moved to Borno to face Boko Haram. And I totally agree.
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Maybe I’m doing too much but I don’t think that corp member should be in this alone. There should be a flurry of videos from lots of corp members saying the same thing, let them threaten everybody. This “E no concern me” attitude is one reason we are where we are today.
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Cristiano is a dollar billionaire yet he does promotions for Binance, smart watches & bottled water brands. But Kunle from Alapere is clowning Davido for performing at a Fidelity Bank party where he got paid over $100K for a 40 mins show. Moral of Story: Kunle is foolish.
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Personally I strongly believe Tunde Onakoya deserves a national honor.
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You’re a Muslim that smokes, drinks, fornicates, gambles, etc but you’re angry at music videos in a mosque🤣. Reminds me of when some Hausa Muslims went to a brothel to patronize a prostitute, then beat her to death cos they found Quran under her pillow. ‘Selective holiness’🤡.
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Messi - 838 goals. Ronaldo - 901 goals. Real ones know Ronaldo is closer to 1000 goals than Messi is to 900 goals. I will not explain. Just be there🫵🏿.
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See how she’s looking so fine & fresh…. Abacha’s daughter 1 - 0 Generational curses.
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Twitter? Owned by man. IG? Owned by man. Facebook? Owned by man. TikTok? Owned by man. Snapchat? Owned by men. If you don’t delete these apps before tomorrow ehn????.
@lafemmefola Me too, I heard Flo was owned by a man and I deleted it ASAP cause the app was doing nonsense and it made sense.Stardust is better.
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Lmao that Fido guy opening his own record label after one hit song reminds me of when HumbleSmith arranged European tour after ‘Osinachi’. If e sing Osinachi finish, e go sing Osinachi rmx😭.
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Too real. But the problem is the wage bill. Can you afford to handle the wage bill for the full squad & also fully compete in all competitions? I doubt.
One of the biggest mistake you guys do is cutting down your squad depth after you meet an mbappe.
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The media? Against him. UEFA? Against him. FIFA? Against him. Entire teams? Ganging up against him. Yet he ended up the sport’s top scorer + 5 UCLs & 5 Balon D’Ors. No wonder the streets chose him as the GOAT. Cristiano🐐🐐🐐.
🗣️ Neymar: “When Suárez was fighting for the golden boot against Cristiano Ronaldo, we did everything for him to score.”
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This man was paid to hold up a “No Protest” placard only to end up complaining about hunger😭. Watch how his fellow ‘No protest’ comrades pushed him away, this country suppose de Netflix🤣🤣🤣.
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Avoid her genitals if:. She is 17.She is in 400L but 17.Has the body of a 30yr old but 17.Is a big Twitter influencer but 17.Reasons like a 35 year old but 17.Finished her PhD but 17. Legal age for adulthood is 18, u can literally get arrested for being intimate with a 17yr old.
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Remove fornication, I can swear I'm more spiritually qualified to lead a flock than that fraudster; Pastor Yemi Osinbajo.
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Victor Osimhen just scored for Napoli and displayed his #EndSARS shirt for the entire world to see. He is automatically the Greatest Nigerian Footballer of All Time and that's on period!!!✊.
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The more emotionally intelligent a person is, the easier it is for them to manipulate others. I will not explain.
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10 human inventions that will FOREVER blow my mind no matter the explanation:. 1) Airplanes.2) Cruise ships .3) Electricity.4) Shazam .5) Underwater welding .6) Ocean rigs .7) Antibiotics & drugs in general .8) Internet .9) Space ships .10) Language. In no particular order.
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Cristiano Ronaldo’s SIUUUU is bigger than Beyoncé’s entire discography, that babe shouldn’t annoy me this evening😏.
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Fit be why Ronaldo no gree marry. From Irina to Georgina, my guy no gree. E go just buy you diamond ring, start de call you “my wife” for interview. If una separate, everybody go waka with wetin dem carry come + gifts. Nothing like ‘split wealth’ Cristiano omo ogbon🤣.
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Dani Carvajal won his 6th UCL playing for Real Madrid yet his father keeps working as a Police Officer. Mikel Obi signed for Chelsea and his brother resigned immediately to go and collect Chieftaincy in Anambra😭.
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TINUBU IS A TERRIBLE PRESIDENT .TINUBU IS A TERRIBLE PRESIDENT .TINUBU IS A TERRIBLE PRESIDENT .TINUBU IS A TERRIBLE PRESIDENT .TINUBU IS A TERRIBLE PRESIDENT.
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Out of these 4 players; Pele, Diego, CR7 & Messi, only one came from a nation with zero footballing history, a nation who only qualified for the WC twice before him & had never reached a final. He came & changed all that! He gave his nation a Legacy. His name is Cristiano!🐐
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Mind you Dani Alves was highest for many years with 43 and no one gave him anything, Messi overtakes & instantly we have an award read for him😀. Messi PR is unbeatable man.
Leo Messi was awarded a golden statue of his iconic celebration for being the player with the most titles in history (46) 🐐✨. (via @marca).
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Because there are less than 100 practicing neurosurgeons in Nigeria.
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My mother is a medical doctor under the employ of the Abia State Government, she just received her December salary 3 weeks ago. Dec 2019! Shocked right?. Don't be yet, till I tell you the salary is actually for December 2018 not even 2019. Fuck our leaders at every level!.💔.
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I love Burna Boy's music but that dude has serious self esteem issues. Person celebrate streams, e trigger you. Person announce album same month, you get triggered. Person papa get money, e dey pepper you. FFS You are an African Giant, stop behaving like an Alapere house rat.
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Yul Edochie said as a boy, he told his father he didn't wanna go to school anymore. I don't care about the rest of the gist but teenage Yul must have had balls of steel to boldly tell Pete that. I can't even talk to Pete Edochie anyhow from behind my TV screen.
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Lmao see as Nedu & other hosts quiet, dey do ‘hmm’ up and down. No cerebral power to contribute to tangible topics like this till e reach time to discuss “nyash” & “runs girls”.
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Me when I finally see that mosquito that has been doing “nwiiiiiii” all night.
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Year after year we keep seeing why it was Davido’s talent that took him up there & not his father’s money.
Billionaire son Wahab Okoya teases new song.
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I know Nigeria is hard but you honestly cannot do Masters, tech, crypto, fashion & mini importation at the same time. That’s exactly how you end up as a jack of all trades & master of none at age 40. Pick a relevant industry, hone your skills in it & lock in aggressively.
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Don’t know how true this story is but men who abandon their kids only to magically pop up when the kids make something out of their lives deserve to be neglected too.
Breaking News: “Nigerians I am Asake’s Father please come to my Aide I am Down with stroke and need your help” - Asake’s Father Cries out out for help. According to sources Asake’s Dad Mr Odunsi Allegedly Abandoned Asake when he was Little!
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Lagosians have this tendency to think Nigeria revolves around Lagos. Say na “everybody applied to unilag”. Meanwhile millions of Nigerian students consistently choose UI, UNN, OAU, Uniport etc as first choices, nothing concern them concern Unilag.
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Wizkid & Davido banter - “hahahaha”.Burna Boy banter - “hahaha”.Drake banter - “hahaha” . Arya Starr banter - . “Fools, u can’t achieve what she has achieved in life, trolling a 21 year old girl over Grammy award”. Clean your tears & hold for me jare.
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@Kylareetarh @imoteda David Beckham appeared a list of most popular names in the world; alongside Jesus, Michael Jackson & Coca-Cola. Stop the cap.
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Maturing is realizing & finally accepting that Wizkid is the greatest living Afrobeats artiste of all time. It’s unarguable. Ibrahim is HIM.
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2008 Ronaldo scored two free kicks in one match against Stoke. 2009 Ronaldo scored two free kicks in one match against Zurich. 2010 Ronaldo scored two free kicks in one match against Espanyol. What Messi did today, CR7 did thrice 10 years ago. Ronaldo will forever be ahead!.
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Land case - 5 years in court. EFCC case vs politicians - 10 years in court. Defamation case against journalist pushed by a wealthy man - 72 hours in court. Dele Farotimi was right. The Nigerian Justice system is criminal.
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If you want visit babe, you go buy flowers & gifts. If babe wan visit you, you go pay for Uber then give ‘thanks for coming’. Nigerian men are suffering💔💔💔
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“Me I can never fall for that” . Of course, who wan promise you lambo before
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Hip-hop really went from Jay, Wayne, Em, Drake, Nas, Nicki, Rick Ross, Ye, Kendrick & Jcole. TO. Megan, Lil baby, DaBaby, HisBaby, HerBaby, Cardi & Pop Smoke. 🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻.
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You quit your banking job because it is haram but you’re willing to sleep with men if they invest in your business. Between you & the guinea fowl u de sell, I no know who con smart pass💔.
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I don't know if Seyi Shay was harsh or not, but my own be say upcoming artiste no suppose dey any panel dey judge fellow upcoming artistes.
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Crazy how Bola Tinubu genuinely believes he should be rewarded with the Presidency for helping usher in the worst President in the history of Nigeria. Aso Rock is not a “thank you” gift or a souvenir. He should keep crying. His tears will make my weekend🥳.
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This may sound weird & I don’t know how to explain but most people with this exact type of face are always mean & wicked😬. Again; I can’t explain it but seeing this face I’m not surprised.
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SA tested over 150k people. Senegal producing their own test kits & 3D ventilators. Ghana insured her frontline health workers & sped up testing using drones with over 10k tested. Nigeria is only 'Giant of Africa' when it comes to Jollof rice and corruption. Pathetic!.
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Cristiano Ronaldo spending just 9 years in La Liga yet being the league’s 2nd highest goalscorer ever after Lionel Messi(who spent 16 years there) is such an underrated statistic.
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If you remove “yayyyyyyy”, “funkeeee”, “homaigod” & “Jisos Is Lorddd” you have successfully erased 99% of the Nigerian comedy skit industry.
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Hilda garnered the attention & support she needed to be GWR holder with the support of friends including influencers & content creators; esp skit makers. Now she’s blown, you’re telling her to stop relating with them as per they’re ‘razz’ & she’s a ‘record holder’, is it crack?.
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“Women don’t know how to behave around rich men”. This nigga bowed 8 times in 30 seconds upon meeting a billionaire💀.
“I love your song…you look different”. Tony Elumelu excited to meet Crayon
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LRT omo that guy finished from Unilag with a First Class in Chem. Engineering & a 4.86/5.00 CGPA😲🤯. I really hope he finds his way out of Naija before he ends up at Fidelity Bank.
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“Dad buy me an iPhone”. Dad 1: You didn’t get admission to study medicine & you want iPhone, thank God it’s not only you I have, cos you don’t have future. Dad 2: Ok I promise to buy you an iPhone when you finally get admission. Both dads declined but one is obviously wiser.
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In 2013 my friend lost his Dad & was struggling, I shared my pm with him for 4 months till he got back on his feet. He got a scholarship in 2017 & moved to North Dakota, when I was coming to the UK this year, he gifted me $1K to ‘help me settle’. God forbid fairweather friends.
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Flavour hacked it man. No. 1 entertainment option for every Igbo billionaire hosting a party. From Tony to Obi Cubana; multi millions in appearance fees, arranged private flights & millions in sprayed hard currencies. Mind you he’s been at it since 2010. Ijele uwa niile🐐.
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This boy changed Zlatan’s life. Bro was perceived as one the industry’s craziest acts till his son arrived. Bro entered comportment zone; fully focused on family, friendships & the bag. Loveet for him.
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She texted first. She texted first. She texted first. She doesn’t have two heads. She doesn’t have two heads. She doesn’t have two heads. GIRLS, TEXT. THAT. CRUSH. NOW!!!.
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I took Uber from Ikeja to Lekki Phase 2; for 9500 naira. GUO from Onitsha to Lagos; 6k. Can't wait to get out of this fraudulent city, Lagosians my thoughts are with you guys🙏.
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CANADA: Close borders to all foreigners.INDIA: Revoke all tourist visas, closes borders.GHANA: Banned entry for all foreigners.KENYA: suspension for all countries with COVID-19. NIGERIA: Travel ban for countries with > 1000 cases of COVID-19. Na only us carry cut off mark come.
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Ronaldo Messi.5 Balon D'Ors 5 Balon D'Ors.706 goals 683 goals.5 UCL titles 4 UCL titles.1 Int'l title 0 Int'l title. He may not be the best player in the world right now but Ronaldo is definitely the greatest player of all time.
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Messi-Suarez-Neymar : Couldn't lift the UCL back to back. Mane-Firmino-Salah : Couldn't lift the UCL back to back. Ronaldo-bagofrice-bagofbeans: Lifted the UCL back to back to back. I know my GOAT!!!.
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Nigga been heavily posting his babe with his 50 likes jeje before that viral one, now folks are saying he should stop cos of trolls lol. Only one person’s opinion matters & that’s his girl, the rest of us are literally irrelevant to them. Do you my guy, the internet will adjust❤️.
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The craziest thing about this story is that the 17 year old girl was on her own jeje after getting robbed on 3MB. This man deceived her into coming to the station by telling her the robbers have been caught, only to rape her at gunpoint. Off this animal immediately.
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Nahhh the Yorubas ate with Efo riro. I like the soup sm. Very versatile too; can go smoothly with poundo, semo, rice & plantain. Top tier soup.
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“With Cristiano, we didn't want him to enter the box because he was deadly there. But with Messi, he would be dangerous with getting the ball anywhere on the pitch.". Mind you Ronaldo has more long range goals than anyone else on the planet. Rodri is a clown.
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Don’t get why everyone seems surprised, I thought it was common knowledge that when you’re buying LV, Gucci etc you’re paying for the brand not the item?. Y’all really thought iPhones cost $1K+ to make? Your $1K+ is for the Apple logo not the phone, the phone prolly costs $150😂.
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I'm officially at a stage where I understand why ‘yahoo boys’ deserve to be imprisoned for at least 32 years.
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Someone told me he just spent 42k on drugs for peptic ulcer, he says spends roughly 30k monthly on himself & his Mom’s routine meds. His salary is 70k. See if you’re healthy & don’t routinely spend your money on health issues, you don’t know what God had done for you.
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Randomly buying my woman accessories so I can watch her slay in them is one of my favourite hobbies😍
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If you voted for Buhari in 2019, may God in his infinite mercies and grace continue to punish you.
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Invite VDM to National Assembly to discuss a Bobrisky voice note. Ignore MC Oluomo caught on camera threatening to maim & murder if people don’t vote his principal. Nigeria = Netflix.
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Nigeria has a growing cult problem, and no I don't mean campus cultism. I mean loose street gangs of poor teenage boys with access to drugs, local weapons & a will to commit crimes as drastic as murder for a small fee. It's a boiling pot that would soon explode in our faces.
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Davido don get multiple credit alerts worth 53 million naira just today alone from thousands of bank accounts. But dem no born Wema Bank papa well to freeze ein account, call am for “verification”, see my people ‘rules and regulation’ na for poor man😔.
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Alex Otti the Labour Party Governor-Elect of Abia State has promised to pay the 20 month+ salary arrears owed by the Government. My Dad is currently grinning from ear to ear since he heard the news, this bastard @GovernorIkpeazu owes him & his wife over 25M naira in salaries.
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Indian man sounds Indian, “no problem”. Frenchman has a French accent, “okay”.Italian man with an Italian accent, “nice”. Englishman with a British accent, “sexy”. Igbo man has an Igbo accent, “omg why does he sound like that”. Slavery ended in 1865, please remove your chains.
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Omo tbvh this new Tunde Ednut's music is very sweet. When you turn it off.
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Lmao mind you the “let down” here is supporting Wigwe’s only daughter in her fight against the extended family for her rightful claim as heir to his assets. Friends that fight for your kids when you’re no more>>>. Foolish family members wanting to reap where they didn’t sow<<<<.
"People we thought were Herbert's friends. People we thought were Herbert's brothers have really let the family down.". - Joyce Wigwe
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He’d have been smoked if he didn’t still have access to those DMs. Twisting that conversation into “he asked for sex before help, now she’s dead” is truly satanic. A mess!.
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“Nigerians are street smart” lies! What we call “street smart” is simply dishonesty & an affinity for sharp practices. When it comes to critical thinking & pattern recognition, we fall horribly short & are the easiest people to scam. We’re so gullible, which is why CBEX thrived.
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Una go smoke igbo finish come de form Aristotle.
little did we realise that the heavy school bags were the lightest burden, we ever carried.
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“If you want to hide something from the black man, put it in a book” . Why are my people so scared of reading? It took me less than 10 secs to skim through the article & see that they are referring to their careers & not their marriage. Less than 10 seconds. READ!!! READ!!!!!!.
Meghan Markle releases statement after solo Thanksgiving appearance amid ‘professional separation’ from Prince Harry
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