Tristin Hopper
@TristinHopper
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Columnist and reporter at National Post, Canada's only newspaper. Most influential person of Canada. Canada moral leader. Beloved Canadian role model
Joined January 2011
Until proven otherwise, I am declaring myself the creator of the largest Rice Krispie square in Canada.
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One time in elementary school we had a delegation of visiting Japanese students and during an assembly I asked "what year is it in Japan?" As my classmates hurled abuse at me that it was obviously the same year as in Canada, one of the Japanese students said it was "Emperor 6".
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In what may be the greatest idea I've ever had, I successfully pulled off an all-Simpsons-themed dinner party.
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"I'll just sign this Magna Carta thing. What's the worst that could happen?" . 800 years later . .
En route to Cardiff today to celebrate seaweed innovation!. Ar y ffordd i Gaerdydd i ddathlu arloesedd mewn gwymon!
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@BunjiKugashira1 See, if you went to my elementary school, you would have known from age six.
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Again, I don't want to oversimplify, but . CANADIAN VOTER UNDER 40: "Maybe if this election changes the status quo I'll be able to afford having a child before I die alone in a rental unit somewhere.". CANADIAN VOTER OVER 40: "Elbows up.".
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So, this in-house CBC graphic is obviously misleading. The pink bar should be a huuuuuuge; dwarfing all others. But whoops; there's a quietly tiny grayscale tilda at the side to omit . ONE BILLION DOLLARS.
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Just attended a birthing class with the lady. It began with a pronouns ritual in which 10 visibly pregnant women had to confirm whether they were, in fact, women.
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Was looking at this and realized that the handful of countries which haven't switched their trade allegiances to China also happen to be the ones Donald Trump is most relentlessly bullying right now.
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I'm not comfortable with the media being this obtuse and dumb.
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I've never felt more banana republic than I do right now. A longtime expat flies back, *immediately* becomes prime minister and begins trying to woo the electorate using crude and outdated national stereotypes.
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Boris Johnson is going to lose his job over a level of scandal that would barely make a week's worth of headlines in Canada.
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I've said this before, but this is the worst hate we've ever seen. There are no blackshirt marches in our past, no multi-city rallies of the KKK. You are living within the most unhinged and fascistic hate movement in Canada's entire history and it's not even close.
NP View: Canada overrun by terrorist sympathizers since October 7
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Canada's rate of 78% full vaccination (and that's the whole population, not just adults) is actually one of the best in the world. Not sure why we felt the need to utterly tear ourselves apart to add a few more points to the tally.
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CANADA: "We have a shitload of natural gas we should sell it.". LIBERALS: "This European company said they'd build us a battery factory and all we have to do is pay for the entire thing.". CANADA: "Okay, but the gas . ". LIBERALS: "We'll build our OWN auto sector!".
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I happen to own a four-year-old girl. They are not, under any circumstances, an effective barometer for political policy. If I gave her a button that wiped out an African country in exchange for a Skor bar she'd push it.
A few weeks ago in Saskatoon, I met a four-year old girl named Ari. She asked me, “Can you stop Trump from invading Canada?” . Ari is a smart little girl. She is asking the right question. I'm running to lead the Liberal Party and to be Canada’s next Prime Minister, because.
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We'll see how the Canada Post strike plays out, but I suspect the outcome will be very, very not good for them. Has there ever been a strike that was quite this self-destructive? Workers taking a business that was already on life support and actively smothering its last embers?.
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It'd be nice if the Canadian media scrutinized the funding streams and organizers behind other protest movements as aggressively as they've been looking into the trucker convoy.
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Remember: Even if Poilievre isn't saying racist things, he could be communicating racist messages via his blinking. I also played one of his speeches backwards and it said "I'm love milk," a clear white supremacist dog whistle.
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There's a lot of polls saying Canadians are now "anti-immigration" . which is sort of like saying that someone with full-body sunburns is now "anti-sunshine." We like immigration when it isn't dialed up to damaging, wildly unsustainable rates for no reason whatsoever.
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I know everybody thinks the UK is some unstable banana republic right now, but this is exactly what democracy is supposed to look like when leaders screw up. Canada only *appears* more stable because we have a ludicrously high tolerance for failure.
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At least Catholics know the next pope is going to be a cardinal. It's not like some European central banker who hasn't entered a church in his life is going to decide to play pontiff all of a sudden.
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The "pro-Palestinian" cause has brought more hate, and more bigotry to Canada than anything in living memory. It is a sworn enemy of pluralism, tolerance and peace. The term "anti-Palestinian racism" is an abhorrent and naked attempt to excuse it.
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I don't know what to do with the news that groups are rallying in Canadian cities to endorse and celebrate the indiscriminate murder and mass shooting of innocents. This isn't a mere difference of opinion with which we can honourably co-exist.
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Government that somehow lost money selling weed wonders if there's a "business case" for selling natural gas to a continent about to freeze to death.
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The next time I'm idling my car for 20 minutes at a drive thru for a strip mall Starbucks built atop a reclaimed wetland, I will feel a unique sense of satisfaction that they are protecting the earth from straws.
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You're probably seeing viral tweets about how illegal border-crossers into Canada are given $224 per day in taxpayer funding. It's true! I wrote about it in May.
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Attention: People messaging me to say that "*I* used the ArriveCan app and it was fine." Good for you! Now go email a reporter writing about the First Nations water crisis to inform them that your tap water is clean and delicious.
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Hearing Canadians who don't live here, raise their children here or even pay taxes here declare that they'll "always be Canadian" must be what it's like to hear a deadbeat dad tell you that he "always thinks of you.".
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The day has come! Introducing Don't Be Canada, my book about how the greatest country on earth embraced all of the world's worst ideas at once. Read an excerpt published today in the National Post and find your copy at all good booksellers.
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The election thus far . Mark Carney steals a Conservative policy. The Conservatives immediately steal it back, but harder. This will apparently continue until we have a flat tax, net zero immigration and public hangings.
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I would once again urge Canadians to pay attention to politics in your own country, no matter how interesting it is in the U.S. Every time some major American bombshell takes over the news cycle, a piece of catastrophically dumb Trudeau policy gets its wings.
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Very few of the Liberal predictions about the Harper government came true (reversing gay marriage, restricting abortion, "soldiers with guns on streets"), but a whole whack of Tory predictions about a PM Trudeau were dead-on, with skyrocketing debt being the most obvious.
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If you're wondering why Canadians don't trust things like they used to, I may remind you of that time we were plunged into national mourning by an inaccurate ground-penetrating radar survey, and that people want you in jail for mentioning as much.
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Every day I am amazed by the mental gymnastics required by 60+ Canadians to justify the fact that 1200 square-foot homes built in the 1950s for single-income blue-collar workers are now accessible only to $200,000/yr executives.
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The United States was . two months months away from the most ideologically aligned Canadian government since the Mulroney/Reagan era? Awesome idea to screw us over for no reason.
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I struggle to think of a Canadian ruling class that has ever been this disconnected. Governments are routinely branding "mainstream" opinions as hateful fascism.
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This happens ALL THE TIME: Young men dressed like terrorists and declaring war on Canada. It's why I'm rolling my eyes at all the old Liberals suddenly worried that Trump's going to take our sovereignty. You were happily surrendering Canadian sovereignty to these animals.
Hamas sympathizer in Toronto openly admits he wants to shut down the current systems in both Canada & the United States by starting a revolution. Who let these people into Canada? Why are the @TorontoPolice protecting them?
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PORTUGAL: "So we decriminalized hard drugs, but paired it with an extremely strict mandatory treatment regime and also a crackdown on drug dealers." . CANADA: "Decriminalize hard drugs, got it.".
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I've never been "Mr. Freedom Convoy." But to look at explicit, pro-terror marches repeatedly descending on the capital without consequence, it's impossible to conclude that the federal government isn't inviting and even coddling this level of primitive, barbaric hatred.
Ottawa, Canada 🇨🇦."Peaceful protesters" calling for armed resistance, Jihad and with red triangles on August 10, 2024.@ottawacity @_MarkSutcliffe @ctvottawa @CTVNews @OttawaCitizen @DutyInspector @rcmpgrcpolice #Hate
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I'm still leaning towards Tory victory, despite this being wildly against what all the polls are saying. And here's why: If there was ever an election poised to yield a surprise result, it's this one.
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Count me out of the kind of patriotism when Wayne Freaking Gretzky becomes persona non grata because he took a picture with an American president you don't like.
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I live in Elizabeth May's riding, where the median age is approximately 104. So I'd say it's a sign of something that the advance voting line-up was filled with young folks. I was probably one of the oldest there.
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I reiterate that "Jagmeet Singh just wants his pension" is the most charitable motive that can be applied to him. Because the alternative is that he's among the most jaw-droppingly incompetent politicians in our history.
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Apropos of nothing, I'm reminded of the South Park episode where Mr. Garrison starts bringing his leashed boyfriend Mr. Slave to class in order to get fired so he can sue the school for discrimination . and is disgusted when the administration embraces his alternative sexuality
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Remember how smug we Canadians were about dodging the worst of the 2008 Great Recession? We are now living its inverse; there are now any number of global problems that are hitting Canada worse than anyone . and it's almost entirely due to bad policy.
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A friend somehow got a family doctor because she "knew someone." Same deal with a friend who just secured $10/day day care; she "knew someone." Is this how access to Canadian government services work now? An East Germany-style whisper network?.
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A few radio hosts have asked me in recent days how Justin Trudeau could *possibly* alleviate a recession rooted in global economic forces beyond our control. Here's one crazy idea: We could start selling people our ocean of natural gas that they keep begging us for.
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What's happening is a "tell." If a university or a union can endorse or excuse the mass slaughter of revellers at a music festival, how can you possibly trust them on any other issue? And then you realize how many other issues we trusted them on.
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I really can't stress enough that this is new territory for Canada. You didn't have Vancouver demonstrations cheering Pearl Harbor. There weren't profs celebrating Tiananmen Square. You didn't have sitting politicians implying that 1914 Belgium deserved civilian executions.
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I am legitimately shocked that a former central banker can apparently know so little about the economy. Just on this auto sector stuff, Carney is making the mistakes of a rookie NDP candidate.
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If my read is correct, Canadian officialdom just witnessed the most brazen outpouring of pro-terror support in our collective history and the official reaction will be . nothing. The Brits brought hate charges. The French ordered deportations. But we chose "scared silence.".
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BOOMERS: "Which candidate do I *like* though? I don't want to vote for anyone *unfriendly.*" . MILLENNIALS: "I will vote for an alcoholic cat with mange if it means I have a slightly reduced chance of being stabbed outside my $2,000/month bachelor suite.".
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I'm afraid that "aren't you guys euthanizing the poor now?" is rapidly becoming the one thing that foreigners know about Canada.
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