Toxic Park Lough Neagh
@ToxicParkNI
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Visit Lough Neagh’s Algae Kingdom, meet The Magical Microbes, and bid farewell to the biodiversity of old.
Lough Neagh, Northern Ireland
Joined July 2025
Follow the link in our bio and sign the petition to save our Lough Neagh, the UK and Ireland’s largest lake. Original footage by ThoughtBoxes. Additional footage courtesy of Stephen J Reid.
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Why chase the Northern Lights when Northern Ireland has its own glowing wonder? Step aboard Toxic Park’s newest attraction, The Bloom Lagoon! Drift through Lough Neagh’s luminous green currents, where the air is thick with eau de cyanobacteria and the glow is far from celestial.
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Today’s school assembly came with a reassuring message: don’t worry, kids! The green sludge in Lough Neagh isn’t your problem, it’s just progress at work. At Toxic Park, we like to start early. Accept it in the classroom, and you’ll swallow it as an adult!
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Get ready to cuddle the chaos. As Toxic Park Lough Neagh edges closer to opening day, we’re filling the shelves with souvenirs you’ll never forget. Our Cuddly Contaminants bring the bloom straight to your bedroom, soft, snuggly, and lightly sewage-scented.
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Entry granted. Warnings ignored. Welcome to Toxic Park! Please keep your arms inside the vehicle, and your drinking water strictly bottled.
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Welcome to Toxic Park, where the shimmer on the water isn’t sunlight, and the smell in the air isn’t nostalgia. Experience our immersive decay zones, water features of questionable origin, and all the thrills of ecological collapse. Coming soon on the shores of Lough Neagh.
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Toxic Park, Not Everyone’s Queuing Up The gates aren’t open yet but opinions are already pouring in. From raised eyebrows to outright disbelief, here's what people really think of Lough Neagh’s newest (and greenest) attraction. Spoiler alert, not everyone’s packing a picnic.
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Step right up! Inspired by the footage of lifeless fish washed up on a toxic algae carpet on Lough Neagh, comes our latest attraction… Dead Fish Dodgems! Because what some call a crisis, we call entertainment! Toxic Park, where the rides are lifeless, but the satire isn’t.
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Toxic Park launch event today, 30th August, in Belfast city centre at the aptly named No. 2, Royal Avenue. Sign up for your tickets, sink a glass (or two) of fizzy salmonella, and leave with a dead fish in a bag.
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Join us this Saturday 30th August from 12:00 noon at 2 Royal Avenue, Belfast to meet the team and grab your tickets before we sell out!
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Today’s lesson: Don’t worry your little heads. At Toxic Park, we believe in starting young, teaching that pollution, dying fish, and toxic blooms are just part of the syllabus. If you accept it in school, you’ll swallow it in adulthood too. Same old thinking…. Same old results!
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Visionary in the fields Dark-Tourism in Exclusion Zones, Deep-Sea Waste Logistics, and Climate Crisis Rebrand Management, join Sir Kenneth Baird as he shares his vision for the future of crisis capitalism, and the birth of Northern Ireland’s most toxically ambitious theme park.
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🦠 The microbes are on tour! 🚌 The Toxic Park mascots are touring Belfast! They’re turning heads and stomachs, and spreading more than joy. Spotted outside City Hall, catch them before they catch you! #ToxicPark #MicrobeMayhem #CatchItWhileYouCan
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Our mascot needs a name! 💚 Comment your best (or worst) idea 👍 Like your favourite names ✨ We’ll pick a winner #nameourmascot #toxicpark
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Our chefs have been working closely with nature (a bit too closely, some say) to bring you the Algae Bloom Ice Cream Float- a frothy, fluorescent homage to Lough Neagh’s finest. Pair it with a bucket of green popcorn, freshly popped and lightly dusted with… something mysterious.
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Toxic Park is almost ready to ooze open!Get set to explore Algae Kingdom, catch the Slime Show at Bloom Boom Arena, and refuel at the Culture Dish Café.And of course, don’t forget to visit the gift shop for a microbial memento of your biohazardous day out.
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Bring home a piece of microbiology magic! Our microbe toys promise hours of harmless fun, unlike their real-world counterparts, who specialise in potent toxins and tragic endings. The perfect souvenir for parents who appreciate educational irony, without the hassle of A&E visits.
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Toxic Park, where unnatural becomes unforgettable. Experience our immersive decay zones, questionable water features, and all the thrills of ecological collapse. Coming soon to the shores of Lough Neagh. Because when you can’t clean it up… you might as well monetise it.
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Why not take home a little piece of the experience? Our Cuddly Contaminants are perfect for anyone who’s ever looked at a bloom and thought: "I wish I could hug that." Because nothing says family day out quite like cyanobacteria in plush form.
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