Jonathan Torrens
@TorrensJonathan
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I pretend to be people I'm not for money.
The 2wo
Joined September 2009
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My dad died when I was 8. Every week a few of the dads on my hockey team would offer to tie my skates. Not in a big showy way, in a quiet kind way. They filled the gap. Find a way to fill the gap for someone. It’ll make you both better.
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My daughter said she’s thinking she’d like to play hockey. I asked her what she likes about it:
-Matching tracksuits
-Driving to games together
-Staying in hotels
-Swimming in hotel pools
-Pizza
Literally nothing about skating, sticks or pucks.
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What she wanted everybody to know: all about sex.
What she didn’t want anyone to know: that she quietly gave her own cottage to an AIDS organization, so people could be surrounded by nature and peace in their final days. Sue was the realest. Funny and frank. ❤️
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Apparently Trailer Park Boys first aired 20 years ago today. If there’s any takeaway here it’s that you might as well roll the dice on your biggest dumbest most awesome idea because you just never know.
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Ever since I first met Elliot Page as a confident, questioning, almost intimidatingly intelligent 10 year-old working together on a show called Pit Pony (and later on Trailer Park Boys) I’ve never doubted for a second that he would change the world in some way. Love + respect.
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No matter your political stripe, you should not throw rocks at the Prime Minister of Canada. There are no exceptions to this rule.
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Arguably J-Roc’s most iconic line
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Both Canadian rappers
Both on DeGrassi
Only one of us hard af.
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Hey
@lizzo
My daughter Sugar-Daisy made this for you. We both thank you for all the positivity you put out into this world.
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Remember when “worst case Ontario” was just a joke on Trailer Park Boys?
Doug Ford is worst-case Ontario. And it’s not funny.
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Still struggle with this.
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Happy Thanksgiving America (left) from your good friend Canada (right).
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BREAKING: Crack-Smoking Mayor’s Less Charismatic Hash-Dealing Brother Somehow Elected Premier of Canada’s Largest Province
#ONelexn
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Before you decipher and dissect and critique and judge what
@RonMacLeanHTH
just said at the first intermission, think about how HARD that must’ve been. No Don. No TelePrompTer. No jokes to hide behind. Just truth in the glaring lights. Respect sir.
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As school returns, let's remind our kids to seek out the vulnerable ones sitting alone and befriend them. Kindness is a great default.
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“I’m not getting married. I’m going to live alone, drink Gatorade, eat Doritos and have baths every day.” - My 7 year-old daughter
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Can’t wait for The Masked Singer Canada, where contestants take their masks off and people still don’t know who they are.
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Non-knockin mahfuggahs
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Should probably stop using this as my headshot...
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I met a man recently who learned English by recording Trailer Park Boys on VHS and bringing the tapes to school where he and his teacher would watch the episodes over and over again. How cool is that? But also… what a unique dialect.
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One of the greatest rappers of all-time seen here with Snoop Dogg.
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Probably best to cancel income tax this year too. Just to be safe.
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Tough week for Canadian broadcasters, producers and crew. Here’s the thing: no one eats Mini Wheats because it’s a Kellogg’s cereal. They eat it cuz they like it. Such is the relationship between tv networks and creators. Viewers aren’t loyal to a network they’re loyal to people.
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I've been embracing the anonymity Canadian celebrity provides for 30 years now.
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Me too.
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Turn off the news.
Stop scrolling.
Go for a walk.
Watch a holiday classic.
Drink some hot chocolate.
Enjoy a cocktail of comfort and nostalgia.
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People don’t eat Froot Loops because they’re loyal to Kellogg’s. They eat them because they like them. Same is true of tv networks and news anchors. People watch who they like, not because of the network they’re on. And - it turns out - a whole lot of people like
@LisaLaFlamme_
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1/2 John Dunsworth was all of our father on set yet the biggest kid at heart. Curious. Mischievous. Spirited. I'd often just stop & watch.
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Ethan Bear is the absolute coolest. This is not debatable.
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Portapique is a beautiful little community on the Bay of Fundy. The people there are community-minded and kind. Let's channel love and support their way. Let them know that they matter more than the morbid details.
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“I thought he said he was going to St. Hubert” - Doug Ford
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I met a man on the sidewalk in Chester NS the other day who was carrying a cooler. I asked if he had mackerel in it. “No”, he replied “it’s my knitting!” Every day on the 40 min ferry from Tancook Island, Norm knits toques for people with no homes. He’s made 100’s. What a beauty.
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2/2 If only we could all live our lives with a fraction of the wonder that John did. Rest easy good buddy. See you down the road.
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It's hard to believe John Dunsworth has been gone a year. To witness all the little seeds of kindness he planted in his life continue to grow and bloom in surprising and wonderful places is inspiring. He did so much for so many, often under the radar. I think of him every day.
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Dear people that don’t give a thank you wave when someone lets you in ahead of them in traffic,
Why?
Signed,
Fully-formed human beings
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But I don’t hear a HORT
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My kid has recently started calling me Jonovision and I can't tell if it's cool or a diss.
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If you’re only given what you can handle in life, Nova Scotia must be able to handle a lot. ❤️
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Suddenly have some time. If any teacher in Nova Scotia wants me to zoom into their class, I’d be happy to! Maybe the students could prepare questions.
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John Dunsworth used to run a casting agency & would often bring me in for characters that I thought I couldn’t play. Crazy scientists, professors. Didn’t matter. HE believed I could.
If you get the chance to be a mentor do it. Show someone you believe in them. It means so much.
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Is the picture really necessary? I believed them.
Ocean Park says its resident giant pandas Ying Ying and Le Le have mated naturally for the first time since they started trying a decade ago.
Executive director Michael Boos says it’s “extremely exciting” as there’s a higher chance of pregnancy.
Photo courtesy of Ocean Park
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Basketball-smuggling walrus-assed hairy Mafk
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I lost my credit card last year and it was returned by a kindly soul named
@AlexaCude
She’s a wicked photographer and we were lucky to book her for a family photo. There are more polished portraits but I love the spirit of this one. Best roommates ever. Gotta love serendipity. ❤️
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NOVA SCOTIA:
-Wash your hands
-Wear a mask
-Social distance
-Take a breath
-Have a nap
-Eat some chips
-Do your part
-Hug your pet
It's going to be ok.
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If I was still writing on the show here’s how Trailer Park Boys would resolve: Cory and Trevor are undercover cops and were mounting a case against them for the last 20 years. They have enough evidence to put them away for a long time.
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Actually
@netflix
not sure I’d agree that Trailer Park Boys is a 97% match... FOR MY CHILDREN.
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OK
@Sportsnet
before you rush into replacing
#DonCherry
, consider what a unique opportunity you have at this moment. You need someone who knows the game inside and out, who is adored and accomplished, a proud Canadian. Do something unexpected. Unprecedented even. Hire
@wick_22
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I'm excited for you to meet this character, who - like all my favourite ones - lives at the intersection of Overconfident and Underqualified.
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1990: Street Cents
2000: Jonovision
2010: Trailer Park Boys
2020:
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Some personal news to share: finally fulfilling my lifelong dream of opening a water sports store called Wayne Jetski.
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A wise friend of mine once said the goodness of any good deed you do is diminished with every person you tell.
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@CFSnowbirds
Over the past few weeks 9 small but mighty planes lifted the spirits of 36 Million people at a time they really needed it. Thank you. This gesture - like your teammate - will never be forgotten. So sorry for your loss. We share in this heartbreak with you.
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A friend was shooting a movie in a suburb of Montreal. Most of the action took place on the front lawn and in the driveway. A cranky neighbour across the street painted his front door a different colour every morning just to mess with their continuity. That’s commitment!
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Pretty fun day at work...
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Some personal news to share: this past week I’ve been captaining a cargo ship through the Suez Canal!
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I know what Kawhi is going through. This is exactly like when I left Trailer Park Boys for Mr. D after it won a Gemini Award.
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Not to brag but Philadelphia Collins' significant burps on Trailer Park Boys were secretly mine, recorded in a quiet room with me, a boom and a can of Diet Coke.
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Good chance this has been the weirdest week of your life. Maybe you snacked more than you usually do, or drank more, went to the gym less. Don’t worry. You’ll find a routine in this new normal. Cut yourself a little slack will ya?
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HEY! It's okay to say:
-I need a minute
-I'm doing my best
-I'm working at capacity right now
-Can I get back to you?
-I don't think I can take that on and do it justice
People will understand. And if they don't, I'd like to speak with them real quick.
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Every Canadian kid knows the emotional roller coaster of finding the perfect costume... then having to cover it with a parka.
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Oh Canada. You're far from perfect. Many miles to go to make it right and fair and equal. But for all you are and all you can be, I love you. And to all Canadians, from those who were here first to those who made sacrifices to come here from all over the world, I love you too. 🇨🇦
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I was so excited the first time I saw
@LetterkennyProb
It had the same spirit and swagger of
@trailerparkboys
in the early years. I feel so fortunate to have played roles on both. LK final season drops December 25.
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My father-in-law just dropped this one on me: “There are givers and there are takers. Takers eat better but givers sleep better.”
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DO NOT watch the video. No good can come from it.
DO remember that this terrorist was greeted at the door with the phrase “welcome brother”.
What a horrible, heartbreaking, unnecessary, UGLY act of hate.
#Christchurch
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Final word tonight to all my journalist friends. You’re working so hard to keep us all apprised. But you’re human too. Let it hit you. It’s okay to be sad at sad things. And we need you healthy.
#NovaScotiaRemembers
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My kid’s grade 4 class partnered up with a long-term care facility to become penpals. My daughter’s penpal misspelled her name. So in her response, my daughter signed off her letter misspelling her own name. Just to not hurt her penpal’s feelings. Ouch my creaky old heart.
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A few days ago I hung a Nova Scotia flag on an old Reebok street hockey stick. Making do, the way we often have to in the Maritimes. I must say it looks pretty good in the moonlight.
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Hello unto ye! I am blessed this day for a new season of
@LetterkennyProb
hath dropped
@CraveCanada
&
@hulu
Rejoice once!
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There have been quite a few exposures at gyms. Probably safest to just stay home on the couch with this box of Toffifee.
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Canada has a Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve that I was lucky enough to visit. These barrels are worth more than oil. And like most Canadians, they are filled with natural sweetness. An extra special Happy Canada Day to all those celebrating for the very first time! ❤️🇨🇦
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No one could make you laugh harder then punch you in the feelings when you least expected it better than John Candy. Sneaky feels. He owned humour with heart.
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Somehow married this girl ten years ago today.
Somehow smarter than she is beautiful.
Somehow even funnier than she is smart.
And so kind. And so good.
It has been a joy and an honour every second to be her husband.
"The only truth I know is you" - Simon & Garfunkel
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And so a mural is erected in Halifax of a fearless actor, spirited student of life and all-around giant-hearted man. Top drawer. Well done.
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May all of your children start the school year with the wide-eyed optimism of 6 year-old me.
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Look if you’re doing the best you can do right now then that is the best you can do right now and I’m going to have to urge you to stop being so hard on yourself. And if you can’t cut yourself a little slack I sure as heck will.
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Hey Ryan. I did 10 seasons, three movies and three specials. I figured the only thing worse than leaving would be to stay and let the character get stale. Nomesayin? Thanks for watching.
@TorrensJonathan
You are a fucking hoe for leaving you were an important part Idk why you had to fuck the boys over like that
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It could happen to you/cuz it happened to me and T.
So happy to see this Mafk today.
Photo cred:
@classified
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You know when you’re driving down the highway in a rainstorm and there’s that split-second of complete silence when you go under an overpass? Gotta try to create those moments in your life too. A second to catch your breath and collect your thoughts away from all the the noise.
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I once saw this ad on Craigslist:
“Avocadoes Free to Anyone over 5’6”
So I clicked. The woman explained that she had a tree in her backyard and had picked all the ones she could reach.
That was it. That was the ad.
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Are you an East Coaster based in Fort Mac and don't have the means to get home? Let me know & I'll help make travel arrangements.
#ymmfire
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Comes a time in every Canadian parent’s life when they have to sit their kids down and tell them all about The Bubes and The Biebs.
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