FloridaMan
@TimsDatDude
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Country Outdoorsman | Poet | #LYMYA
Miami-Orlando
Joined August 2011
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The floor is recognizing you're wrong & apologizing
Women:
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Me walking out the room after I just jacked my shit
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I’m taken Dick’s
You can get athletic/workout gear from either of these stores free for a whole year.
Which place are you picking?
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Me runnin to my girl after another girl flirts with me, cause I’m no cheater
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Boyyyyy if my son ever out there pullin up like this, they gonna need security to contain me ima be so hype! 😭
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When you first meet her & wonder why she single vs 4 months into the relationship & now you understand why
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Imagine thinking ya girl at work & she’s squirting all over another nigga house & you didn’t even know she could squirt
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"Back up Terry, put it in reverse.. oh lawdd" LMFAOOOOOOOOOO I'm cryingggggg
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My nephew has a learning disability & we spent all week working & trying to prepare him for this test that his teacher would use to evaluate his progress. He struggles and I been telling him to never give up because he can do it. Today he texted me this lol 😭
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Isaiah Thomas out there lookin like when ya lil cousin try to guard you at the cookout
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They gonna stop working after 3 weeks
Y’all look what I got for Christmas yesterday 😂😂😩😩
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Imagine being thirsty & deciding to pour yourself a cup of apple juice 🤢
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When y’all on FaceTime & she has you paused then comes back with her fingers in her ass
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I just have this to say...
Spread love, not hate. We can all make a difference if we truly tried 🙏🏾
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Ima still cheat
Ima still cheat
Ima still cheat
Ima still cheat
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Imagine textin ya girl on the 1st “good morning, rent due can you send me your half so I can pay it? Thanks”
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO how you sleep at night?
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I couldn’t imagine my girl living with me & me making her pay half the rent, call me what you want but that’s some loser shit 😭😭
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"I hate Black pepper! I hate Black keys on a piano, I hate my gums cause they Black!"
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Nigga said he so behind on bills, the electric company came and took his candles too, sayin “we said NO lights!!” 😭😭
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GUESS WHO GOT THE JOB?!? YA BOY GOT THE JOB!!!!!!! 😭😭 God is so good!!!
Praying I get this new position, this is more money than I’ve ever seen in my life personally.. speaking it into existence 🙏🏾
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Jay Z is a real man for forgiving Beyoncé for making him cheat on her! It takes a real king to do that.
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& what’s crazy is I KNOW this nigga can hoop if he tried 😭😭
EJ Johnson really wasted Magic Johnson’s genetics just to become a bad bitch and post pics on IG. SMH I’m livid
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Yo
@ochocinco
should be in the HOF based off this alone! This the dopest thing I’ve ever seen on here! I met him years ago & he hasn’t changed! This was dope af! 😭
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Excuse me?????????????? Do you see the stride & technique?!?
If you think he is fast now, just wait until he gets into high school 😳
(Via blaze_813 / Instagram)
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Rihanna is EASILY the finest woman to EVER walk this Earth
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"This party whack af babe, I shouldnt have came, i miss you. Wyd??"
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I would drag my nuts across a field of glass & washed them off with alcohol jus to be able to taste ya anal nectar
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I remember in college I was texting this girl nasty & I accidentally sent my dad a nasty text instead of her. He never replied or acknowledged it when he seen me so I figured he never got it. Why he just brought it up right now? Lmao 10 years later
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So Lamar Jackson gets credit for ballin against the fukin Dolphins, but Dak balls and it’s “it’s the Giants lmaooo” yeah aight
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When her homegirls start trying to tell her that you ain’t shit & she should leave you
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LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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😭😭😭😭😭 bruh who turned LUKE CAGE into Family matters?! This is brilliant lmao
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Dak Prescott, & it’s not even close
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Dak is not Brady, he’s not Rodgers, he’s not Mahomes or even Wilson! HES DAK PRESCOTT & YALL GONNA RESPECT MY MUHFUKIN QB!!!!!!!!!!
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Any questions about what Joe Jackson is bringing to Dallas 👇🏾
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My uncle who’s been in law enforcement for 33 years quit on Sunday.... That’s crazy and speaks VOLUMES, I said to him “33 years is a long time man” and he goes “and after 33 years shit still hasn’t changed” 😭 respect lol
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The difference between men & women..... Men really are trash lol
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Julio Jones jus unfollowed EVERYONE & deleted all his Falcons pics 😳😳👀👀
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Bruh this really how it be with ya lady sometimes LMFAOOOOOO
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“.... hmph, they didn’t do none of this shit for me when I retired...”
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TrillAC can tweet “there’s no such thing as the color blue. a thread.”
& you dick suckin niggas gonna be under the thread like “factsss I been sayin blue don’t exist”
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“Why do cowboy fans think they are gonna win the super bowl every year?”
We don’t bitch, we don’t say that.. y’all made up that narrative saying we think that, when we literally fear we gonna lose every game! Y’all gotta stop tlkin just to talk 😭😭
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I’m not even trying to be funny.... who tf is he????? I would respect this coming from Cox, Jenkins or someone but who tf is this??????
The Eagles have big plans for Dallas this weekend. 👀
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This is still the funniest thing I ever seen 😭😭😭 my stomach is hurting from laughing
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Ceedee wearing 88 still annoys me, idc what anyone says lol
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Y’all find anything to complain & be fake mad about lmao I didn’t say that lil girl was ugly or anything. I jus said she looks like Stephen A, thats it, now leave me alone before I start callin you & ya kids ugly fr lmaoo
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Only Dak can throw 42-54 455 yards & 3TDs & still have an ass game! I hate him lmaoooo
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When you answer her FaceTime & she got 2 fingers in that gushy thang
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Bro this is top tier television!! 😭😭 lmfao
I don’t understand why people lie & say Martin wasn’t a good/funny show
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How Redskins fans say Dak trash but yet they can’t beat him, he’s 4-0 against them... so if he’s trash and y’all can’t beat him then
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If u press it ya car will turn around, so u can jus go the other way
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I better not see ANY of y’all that didn’t want Zeke back rooting for him lmao
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Twitter was down & I didn’t kno what to do, I almost asked my girl how her day was smh thank God the TL came back up
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