Faken
@ThirdPartyTool
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97
Ladies...you know where to find me.
In a van...down by the river.
Joined April 2013
It seems I was indirectly managed. That's why I indirectly managed to screw everything up. I hope I can indirectly manage to get a new job.
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Should I be happy or sad that they fired me because they found someone dumber to take my place?
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Just interviewed for a meat packing job. I tried showing them how qualified I am, but they escorted me out and called the cops. What gives?
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I'd get a job digging ditches... But people tell me that I can never get myself out of the holes I make.
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Where's the beef? Seriously. Do you people have some beef with me? I know I'm not qualified. But they don't know that.
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Being unemployed gives me more time to watch Sesame Street. I like how Big Bird talks slow enough for me to understand.
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Someone finally brought me a dic...tionary. I didn't realize you are supposed to emphasize that first syllable so much. What's a syllable?
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Looking for someone to hire and then fire a year later after you realize how dumb I am? I'm your guy. #20yearsofexperience
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I owned the P&L for business development. But I only delivered on the "L".
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I'm a speaker at industry conferences, seminars, webinars and other social media channels. That makes sense. What's a social media channel?
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I'm able to identify, strategize & execute new business opportunities with highly technical products. Never done it but I'm sure I'm able to
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People say I'm dumb but I looked it up and they're wrong. I can speak. Technically, I'm an "idiot". http://t.co/Y6pKHoeK4x
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And just where am I supposed to go now to give the ladies a creepy once-over??? (I bet they all really miss me today at the office...)
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The shampoo budget is sacred. I will only cut that as a last resort.
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I don't understand...why me? I showed up to work almost every day. I wandered aimlessly. I made females uncomfortable then I left at 3pm.
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Maybe the circus will take me! The Bearded Lady of Geneva... Lionel the Lion-Faced Boy... AND Faken: The Brain Stem that can Speak.
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