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@Thintoxicating

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36,160

Maybe I should go sit in the rain so I can drown in something other than my own thoughts.

ED account • 20s
Joined June 2012
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
9 years
*eats* *feels bad* *doesn't eat* *feels bad* *purges* *feels bad* *doesn't purge* *feels bad*
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
10 months
I’ve spent HALF MY LIFE ON EDTWT. Made this account at 13, I’m 25 tomorrow.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
2 years
Baby came so fast, less than 2 hours of labor. I delivered her on the bathroom floor. We are on the way to the hospital.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
2 years
My mom lost 1/4 of her body weight. XL to XS. Has visible chest bones. Told me she doesn’t have any vitamin deficiencies or malnutrition. I had an identity crisis because how could you eat that little food and not have vitamin deficiencies. Thought my whole perception of recovery
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
2 years
You ever just have an inkling feeling that someone has an eating disorder but you don’t know for sure and then they come out about it and you just “knew”??
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
I'm the fat daughter. The fat friend. The fat student. The fat neighbor. The fat coworker. The fat cousin. The fat sibling. The fat bitch.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
10 months
Reading this killed me. This man’s wife had a relapse. She recovered & was eating well but her body was so damaged from the relapse. She died after recovering.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
4 years
At ~30 weeks pregnant, my baby was at the 11th percentile for weight. She had a hole in her heart. My mom asked the doctor what could of caused this, and my dr said an eating disorder. For the rest of my pregnancy, I upped my intake, & delivered a healthy 8 pound baby. ❤️
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
2 years
I had a miscarriage. It wasn’t ideal timing, it wasn’t planned, our birth control methods failed. But the loss is still heavy. I just wanted to tell someone about my baby.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
2 years
I’ve grown to appreciate liquid calories over solid food calories. I’d rather have a large ass smoothie than a plate of food.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
4 years
People with eating disorders eat. People with eating disorders eat. People with eating disorders eat. People with eating disorders eat. People with eating disorders eat. People with eating disorders eat. People with eating disorders eat. People with eating disorders eat.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
2 years
24 today ♥️ Created this account at the peak of my ED 10 years ago. Struggled with ED, SH, addiction, depression & anxiety. Doing much better mentally these days. 6 years clean of SH; 4 years clean of opioids. Now mom of 2. It gets better. Life is good ♥️😊✨
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
2 years
My whole life is an endless series of me saying “I can’t wait to do ____ when I’m thin” and never doing anything I want to do, because I’m not thin.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
4 years
Does anyone else’s eating disorder come in waves? Or is my illness fake??? Sometimes I’m fine eating whatever I want and other times I cry at the thought of eating.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
2 years
Almost 41 weeks pregnant come onnnnn baby
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 months
After 4 years of pregnancy/breastfeeding I am ready to get my body back ♥️ I haven’t focused on my weight in 4 years. My goal is to lose 80 lbs 💕😊 I’ll be doing weekly weigh ins on THIS thread!!! Calorie deficit, but no restriction. I have kids to be healthy for 💪🏼
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
Reminders: Not all people with eating disorders -starve -are thin -get treatment -exercise -eat clean -lose weight
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
4 years
ADULTS CAN HAVE EATING DISORDERS. MALES CAN HAVE EATING DISORDERS. PEOPLE OF COLOR CAN HAVE EATING DISORDERS. People with eating disorders aren’t just white 14 year old girls. ANYONE can have an eating disorder!
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
4 years
At the hospital; it’s baby time!!!
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 months
Life update: I am divorcing my husband. I am setting up consultations with a few divorce lawyers today. He was a covert narcissist. I knew him 5 years before marriage and the narcissism came out after. So nervous but ready for the next journey. ♥️🙏🏼
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
9 years
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
10 years
If you see more than just lines, I'm sorry. http://t.co/FmhymSN90D
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
3 years
I hate talking about my eating disorder because I don’t feel thin enough to have an eating disorder.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
4 years
The hole in her heart has closed. She is healthy and happy. And this was sooooo worth everything. 🥰💕❤️ I will do it a million times over.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
6 years
Every “My ED story” on Youtube: *Skinny Love starts playing* “I was a happy kid” *Pictures of childhood* “But I stopped eating” *lots of body checks* “Finally I started eating again, slow at first” *shows recovery pictures* “I’m happy now”
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
For every favorite and retweet this tweet gets, I will donate 25 cents to the eating disorder clinic I am working with!!! ✨
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
5 years
I’m weak dkdjidsjjshzjzj
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
5 years
If I see one more post saying Eugenia Cooney looks healthy, I’m going to flip my shit. Many people with eating disorders correlate healthier with fat. You all could trigger her!
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
9 years
Just my opinion/rant about the eating disorder diagnosis criteria. http://t.co/1VbwRfSbw0
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
9 years
The truth about your eating disorder http://t.co/gurFY7LRG0
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
5 years
Let’s raise awareness about EDs and our experiences But let’s also raise awareness about -our binging -our purging -our laxative abuse -our weight gain -all the other un-glamors of ED Not *just* the restriction/weight loss
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
3 years
Eating disorders are different when your only obligations are school and your hobbies. But when you’re an adult, going to college, working, driving, or taking care of a family, things are different. It’s harder on your body.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
2 years
5 years ago on Easter I was high on opiates crying thinking my life wouldn’t get any better and today I played Easter bunny and made baskets for both of my babies, and I didn’t get any binge, purge or starvation urges.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
3 years
How do you politely ask someone not to cook your food with oil, without sounding crazy?
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
9 years
I tried to get rid of my fat but... http://t.co/igfGsSn0ta
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
2 years
I was crying and my 1 and a half year old started kissing me, hugging me and playing with my hair 😭😭
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
2 years
was warped and my normal every day diet was binges. Found out she lied about not having malnutrition. My brain is struggling to process this. The amount of mental pain and agony. I almost started following her diet because she wasn’t transparent. I thought I needed therapy for
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
3 years
If you remember the red eating disorder dragon fly bracelets, you qualify for a veterans discount.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
8 years
This is a serious problem that needs to be addressed.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
5 years
My boyfriend may or may not have put a ring on it today. 🙈💍❤️💕
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
2 years
Anorexia sucks. Bulimia sucks. Binge eating disorder sucks. OSFED sucks. Orthorexia sucks. All eating disorders suck. Anorexia doesn’t “suck more” because “thin/self control/starving” blah blah blah. Every person with an ED is sick, it all sucks. There’s no worse “suck”.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
6 years
You can have an eating disorder and eat 300 calories a day. You can have an eating disorder and eat 700 calories a day. You can have an eating disorder and eat 1200+ calories a day. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else; you’re valid. You’re real.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
3 years
Let’s start an adult ED twitter thread ☺️✨ Comment your age below if your 18+ and if you’re an active ED account. Follow new accounts + make new friends!
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
6 years
Retweet if you’re part of the “I’ll buy that when I’m thinner” club, but you never actually buy it, because you never actually get thin.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
11 years
Who else can relate? 😂 http://t.co/HeQBoM7x2O
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
2 years
overeating. I thought she was genuinely healthy. Thought I could be healthy as an XS with chest bones too.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
10 years
When I stand up after sitting for a while #EDproblems http://t.co/Bfnzo9kvu7
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
YALL I HIT ONE YEAR CLEAN ON JANUARY 20th 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️ I've hit one year clean before, but this time, I'll make it to two!
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
6 years
“I want to lose weight” *eats* *cries because fat* *eats* *has low self esteem because weight* *eats* *hates self* *eats* *eats when I want to lose weight* *eats eats & eats*
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
10 years
If you understand this, I'm sorry. http://t.co/KkgZRVlYAi
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
10 months
@emilyscreaming3 You do realize if you never go into recovery, you’ll still deal with this at 25 too?
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
"Netflix made another mental illness movie for $$$" -written & directed by people recovered from EDs -wanting to share the truth #Tothebone
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
2 years
I’m ready to pop this baby out and to get ✨thin ✨
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
5 years
Why is gaining weight so easy but losing weight is literally the hardest thing in the world?
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
8 years
For years I told my mama I wouldn't make it to graduation because I thought I'd die from my eating disorder... Tonight I graduated. 🎓
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
"What's wrong" "I'm tired" "Of what?" Starving Eating Feeling fat Hating my appearance Having an eating disorder Being sad Living
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
2012: Me: I wanna die People: I love you, I'm here for you, *lists reasons to live* 2017: Me: I wanna die People: Same
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
Does anyone else forget that eating disorder thoughts aren't normal? Like, most people don't think about their weight 24/7. Crazy.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
A guide on how to love myself - Step 1: Lose 30 pounds That is all
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
4 years
Why do mental illnesses come in packages? Instead of just an eating disorder, it’s an eating disorder, depression, anxiety, and ADHD?
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
6 years
Me, while shitting: can’t wait to see how much I weigh Me, while peeing: can’t wait to see how much I weigh Me, after waking up: can’t wait to see how much I weigh Me, after getting ill: can’t wait to see how much I weigh Me: can’t wait to see how much I weigh
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
4 years
Since there are people on here asking for a “pro ana coach”.... DO NOT GET A PRO ANA COACH. Pro ana coaches are perverts. People have been kidnapped by pro ana coaches. Pro ana coaches have manipulated people to send nudes. They “get off” on controlling you.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
"You aren't fat" But I can grab the fat I can feel the fat And I can see the fat So yes I am End. of. story.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
6 years
“You can only be anorexic if you’re underweight” Okay with that logic: At 200 lbs, someone isn’t anorexic even though they eat 500 calories At 150 lbs, they still aren’t anorexic even though they eat 500 calories 120? Nope, stillllll not anorexic. 90? Oh yes, now they are.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
10 years
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
5 years
Last year I relapsed and lost 35 pounds in mere months. Yesterday, I went to subway, ordered what I wanted, didn’t feel conscious to eat in front of my BF, ate half a bag of sour patch kids and then had NON diet soda. NO GUILT AT ALLLLLL.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
Person: I forgot to eat today Forgot? To eat?? HOLD UP!!! Eating isn't always on your mind 24/7? A m a z i n g #EDproblems
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
6 years
Truth of EDs that pro ana sites don’t tell you: my dads sad face when he caught me throwing away all of my yoghurt for breakfast as he said “please don’t baby” and spoon fed me a couple bites
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
6 years
Logically I know this is false But I cannot help but think that Thin = More friends Thin = Prettier Thin = Likable Thin = Loved Thin = Special Thin = Success Thin = Happiness Thin = A better person Thin = I’ll go farther
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
6 years
I want to get skinny but all I do is fucking EAT.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
2 years
7 months pregnant already ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
4 years
You can die from an eating disorder at any weight. You can rupture your esophagus while purging at any weight. You can have organ failure at any weight. You can go into cardiac arrest at any weight. Skinny people aren’t the only people who die. ALL 👏🏽 EDs 👏🏽 ARE 👏🏽 SERIOUS 👏🏽
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
Before eating: You're going to get fat During eating: LOLOLOL I'm hungry, I don't care After eating: YOU FAT BITCH LOOK WHAT YOU DID
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
8 years
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
6 years
My life is so much better when I don't eat: Starving = weight loss Weight loss = confidence Confidence = better mood Better mood = Happier Happier = Better grades, better motivation, better social life, just better life in general
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
Meghan Trainor said she tried to be anorexic but failed maybe because these are disorders not diets
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ED Diaries
7 years
Because the cures to anorexia is "just eat" adhd is "just focus" anxiety is "just relax" depression is "just be happy" #BellLetsTalk
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
4 years
Honestly speaking..... what’s the most disgusting thing that you have ever done because of your eating disorder? 👀
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
8 years
I want to be skinny to the point...
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
6 years
Tomorrow I am 1,000 days clean.....
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
Because I have never read anything more relevant in my life. #BellLetsTalk
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
9 years
Homosexuality is important and natural http://t.co/JTN0RXKuzt
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
What people don't understand is that once you get used to starving yourself, you get high running on empty. Starvation. A literal drug.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
6 years
RT if: -you feel fat -you binged -you have an eating disorder -you restricted today -you have low self esteem Nobody will ever know which one
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
You HATED your lowest weight until you ended up gaining some back. Now you'd do anything to be that thin again.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
8 years
Will I ever stop hating my body for its size?
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
10 years
Depression isn't always easy to notice. http://t.co/yygaQUTf1A
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
652 days clean from self harm.... holy shit ❤️😭😭😭
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
6 years
#NoBinge2018 , who’s with me??? 😌💖 (Binge, as in, uncontrollable, unhealthy, large amounts of food... not just eating over your preferred intake)
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
"I couldn't be anorexic because I love food too much." No, you "couldn't" be anorexic because it's a disorder, NOT 👏🏼 A 👏🏼 DIET 👏🏼
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
6 years
I mentally cannot cope with how fat I’ve gotten. My weight is making me agitated, angry and I feel disgusting. I need to lose this weight NOW.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
We all become addicted to something that takes the pain away.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
6 years
You ever go get those “so fat you can’t do anything” moods? You just look and feel so fat you can’t socialize work study function go out LIVE?
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
6 years
You know you have an addiction when you say “this is my last drink, my last pill, my last cut, my last purge” because you wouldn’t have to say that if you weren’t addicted but you are addicted and it infiltrates your every thought and controls you
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
6 years
Fruit and veggie binges exist. I can devour 10 apples in one sitting or an entire cantaloupe. While it may not be an entire pizza, the eating is uncontrollable and I’m so full I can barely move afterwards. Binges aren’t about calories; they are about uncontrollable eating.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
8 years
Me when I see a thin girl: How??! What do you do? What do you eat? Do you even eat? Are you an athlete? Fast metabolism? Have an ED?!?!??
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ED Diaries
5 years
Am I the only one who hates phone calls, no matter who it is??? Like just fucking text me. I have anxiety okay.
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
"You're too quiet" Me: *tries to talk* People: -ignores me -doesn't care what I have to say -talks over me -shuts down my ideas
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
Ok y'all. boyfriends are lovers and supporters not doctors not therapists not nutritionists
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@Thintoxicating
ED Diaries
7 years
Dr: EDs are very serious and life threatening Also Dr: You aren't anorexic because you're BMI doesn't fall below 18. Come back later.
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