ED Diaries
@Thintoxicating
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35,698
Following
610
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123
Statuses
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Maybe I should go sit in the rain so I can drown in something other than my own thoughts.
ED account • 20s
Joined June 2012
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Pinned Tweet
*eats*
*feels bad*
*doesn't eat*
*feels bad*
*purges*
*feels bad*
*doesn't purge*
*feels bad*
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I’ve spent HALF MY LIFE ON EDTWT.
Made this account at 13, I’m 25 tomorrow.
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Baby came so fast, less than 2 hours of labor. I delivered her on the bathroom floor. We are on the way to the hospital.
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My mom lost 1/4 of her body weight. XL to XS. Has visible chest bones. Told me she doesn’t have any vitamin deficiencies or malnutrition. I had an identity crisis because how could you eat that little food and not have vitamin deficiencies. Thought my whole perception of recovery
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You ever just have an inkling feeling that someone has an eating disorder but you don’t know for sure and then they come out about it and you just “knew”??
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I'm the fat daughter. The fat friend. The fat student. The fat neighbor. The fat coworker. The fat cousin. The fat sibling. The fat bitch.
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Reading this killed me.
This man’s wife had a relapse. She recovered & was eating well but her body was so damaged from the relapse. She died after recovering.
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At ~30 weeks pregnant, my baby was at the 11th percentile for weight. She had a hole in her heart. My mom asked the doctor what could of caused this, and my dr said an eating disorder.
For the rest of my pregnancy, I upped my intake, & delivered a healthy 8 pound baby.
❤️
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I had a miscarriage. It wasn’t ideal timing, it wasn’t planned, our birth control methods failed. But the loss is still heavy. I just wanted to tell someone about my baby.
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I’ve grown to appreciate liquid calories over solid food calories. I’d rather have a large ass smoothie than a plate of food.
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People with eating disorders eat.
People with eating disorders eat.
People with eating disorders eat.
People with eating disorders eat.
People with eating disorders eat.
People with eating disorders eat.
People with eating disorders eat.
People with eating disorders eat.
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24 today ♥️
Created this account at the peak of my ED 10 years ago. Struggled with ED, SH, addiction, depression & anxiety.
Doing much better mentally these days. 6 years clean of SH; 4 years clean of opioids.
Now mom of 2. It gets better. Life is good ♥️😊✨
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My whole life is an endless series of me saying “I can’t wait to do ____ when I’m thin” and never doing anything I want to do, because I’m not thin.
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Does anyone else’s eating disorder come in waves? Or is my illness fake??? Sometimes I’m fine eating whatever I want and other times I cry at the thought of eating.
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After 4 years of pregnancy/breastfeeding I am ready to get my body back ♥️ I haven’t focused on my weight in 4 years.
My goal is to lose 80 lbs 💕😊
I’ll be doing weekly weigh ins on THIS thread!!!
Calorie deficit, but no restriction. I have kids to be healthy for 💪🏼
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Reminders:
Not all people with eating disorders
-starve
-are thin
-get treatment
-exercise
-eat clean
-lose weight
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ADULTS CAN HAVE EATING DISORDERS.
MALES CAN HAVE EATING DISORDERS.
PEOPLE OF COLOR CAN HAVE EATING DISORDERS.
People with eating disorders aren’t just white 14 year old girls.
ANYONE can have an eating disorder!
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Life update: I am divorcing my husband. I am setting up consultations with a few divorce lawyers today.
He was a covert narcissist. I knew him 5 years before marriage and the narcissism came out after.
So nervous but ready for the next journey. ♥️🙏🏼
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I hate talking about my eating disorder because I don’t feel thin enough to have an eating disorder.
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The hole in her heart has closed. She is healthy and happy. And this was sooooo worth everything. 🥰💕❤️ I will do it a million times over.
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Every “My ED story” on Youtube:
*Skinny Love starts playing*
“I was a happy kid”
*Pictures of childhood*
“But I stopped eating”
*lots of body checks*
“Finally I started eating again, slow at first”
*shows recovery pictures*
“I’m happy now”
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For every favorite and retweet this tweet gets, I will donate 25 cents to the eating disorder clinic I am working with!!! ✨
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If I see one more post saying Eugenia Cooney looks healthy, I’m going to flip my shit. Many people with eating disorders correlate healthier with fat. You all could trigger her!
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Just my opinion/rant about the eating disorder diagnosis criteria.
http://t.co/1VbwRfSbw0
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Let’s raise awareness about EDs and our experiences
But let’s also raise awareness about
-our binging
-our purging
-our laxative abuse
-our weight gain
-all the other un-glamors of ED
Not *just* the restriction/weight loss
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Eating disorders are different when your only obligations are school and your hobbies.
But when you’re an adult, going to college, working, driving, or taking care of a family, things are different.
It’s harder on your body.
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5 years ago on Easter I was high on opiates crying thinking my life wouldn’t get any better and today I played Easter bunny and made baskets for both of my babies, and I didn’t get any binge, purge or starvation urges.
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How do you politely ask someone not to cook your food with oil, without sounding crazy?
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I was crying and my 1 and a half year old started kissing me, hugging me and playing with my hair 😭😭
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was warped and my normal every day diet was binges. Found out she lied about not having malnutrition.
My brain is struggling to process this. The amount of mental pain and agony. I almost started following her diet because she wasn’t transparent. I thought I needed therapy for
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If you remember the red eating disorder dragon fly bracelets, you qualify for a veterans discount.
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My boyfriend may or may not have put a ring on it today. 🙈💍❤️💕
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Anorexia sucks.
Bulimia sucks.
Binge eating disorder sucks.
OSFED sucks.
Orthorexia sucks.
All eating disorders suck.
Anorexia doesn’t “suck more” because “thin/self control/starving” blah blah blah.
Every person with an ED is sick, it all sucks. There’s no worse “suck”.
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You can have an eating disorder and eat 300 calories a day.
You can have an eating disorder and eat 700 calories a day.
You can have an eating disorder and eat 1200+ calories a day.
Don’t compare yourself to anyone else; you’re valid. You’re real.
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Let’s start an adult ED twitter thread ☺️✨
Comment your age below if your 18+ and if you’re an active ED account. Follow new accounts + make new friends!
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Retweet if you’re part of the “I’ll buy that when I’m thinner” club, but you never actually buy it, because you never actually get thin.
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overeating. I thought she was genuinely healthy. Thought I could be healthy as an XS with chest bones too.
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YALL I HIT ONE YEAR CLEAN ON JANUARY 20th 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️ I've hit one year clean before, but this time, I'll make it to two!
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“I want to lose weight”
*eats*
*cries because fat*
*eats*
*has low self esteem because weight*
*eats*
*hates self*
*eats*
*eats when I want to lose weight*
*eats eats & eats*
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@emilyscreaming3
You do realize if you never go into recovery, you’ll still deal with this at 25 too?
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"Netflix made another mental illness movie for $$$"
-written & directed by people recovered from EDs
-wanting to share the truth
#Tothebone
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Why is gaining weight so easy but losing weight is literally the hardest thing in the world?
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For years I told my mama I wouldn't make it to graduation because I thought I'd die from my eating disorder...
Tonight I graduated. 🎓
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"What's wrong"
"I'm tired"
"Of what?"
Starving
Eating
Feeling fat
Hating my appearance
Having an eating disorder
Being sad
Living
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2012:
Me: I wanna die
People: I love you, I'm here for you, *lists reasons to live*
2017:
Me: I wanna die
People: Same
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Does anyone else forget that eating disorder thoughts aren't normal? Like, most people don't think about their weight 24/7.
Crazy.
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A guide on how to love myself -
Step 1: Lose 30 pounds
That is all
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Why do mental illnesses come in packages? Instead of just an eating disorder, it’s an eating disorder, depression, anxiety, and ADHD?
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Me, while shitting: can’t wait to see how much I weigh
Me, while peeing: can’t wait to see how much I weigh
Me, after waking up: can’t wait to see how much I weigh
Me, after getting ill: can’t wait to see how much I weigh
Me: can’t wait to see how much I weigh
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Since there are people on here asking for a “pro ana coach”....
DO NOT GET A PRO ANA COACH.
Pro ana coaches are perverts.
People have been kidnapped by pro ana coaches. Pro ana coaches have manipulated people to send nudes. They “get off” on controlling you.
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"You aren't fat"
But I can grab the fat
I can feel the fat
And I can see the fat
So yes I am
End. of. story.
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“You can only be anorexic if you’re underweight”
Okay with that logic:
At 200 lbs, someone isn’t anorexic even though they eat 500 calories
At 150 lbs, they still aren’t anorexic even though they eat 500 calories
120? Nope, stillllll not anorexic.
90? Oh yes, now they are.
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Last year I relapsed and lost 35 pounds in mere months.
Yesterday, I went to subway, ordered what I wanted, didn’t feel conscious to eat in front of my BF, ate half a bag of sour patch kids and then had NON diet soda. NO GUILT AT ALLLLLL.
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Person: I forgot to eat today
Forgot?
To eat??
HOLD UP!!!
Eating isn't always on your mind 24/7?
A m a z i n g
#EDproblems
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Truth of EDs that pro ana sites don’t tell you: my dads sad face when he caught me throwing away all of my yoghurt for breakfast as he said “please don’t baby” and spoon fed me a couple bites
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Logically I know this is false
But I cannot help but think that
Thin = More friends
Thin = Prettier
Thin = Likable
Thin = Loved
Thin = Special
Thin = Success
Thin = Happiness
Thin = A better person
Thin = I’ll go farther
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You can die from an eating disorder at any weight.
You can rupture your esophagus while purging at any weight. You can have organ failure at any weight. You can go into cardiac arrest at any weight.
Skinny people aren’t the only people who die.
ALL 👏🏽 EDs 👏🏽 ARE 👏🏽 SERIOUS 👏🏽
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Before eating: You're going to get fat
During eating: LOLOLOL I'm hungry, I don't care
After eating: YOU FAT BITCH LOOK WHAT YOU DID
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My life is so much better when I don't eat:
Starving = weight loss
Weight loss = confidence
Confidence = better mood
Better mood = Happier
Happier = Better grades, better motivation, better social life, just better life in general
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Meghan Trainor said she tried to be anorexic but failed
maybe
because
these are disorders
not diets
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Because the cures to
anorexia is "just eat"
adhd is "just focus"
anxiety is "just relax"
depression is "just be happy"
#BellLetsTalk
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Honestly speaking..... what’s the most disgusting thing that you have ever done because of your eating disorder? 👀
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What people don't understand is that once you get used to starving yourself, you get high running on empty.
Starvation. A literal drug.
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RT if:
-you feel fat
-you binged
-you have an eating disorder
-you restricted today
-you have low self esteem
Nobody will ever know which one
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You HATED your lowest weight until you ended up gaining some back. Now you'd do anything to be that thin again.
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#NoBinge2018
, who’s with me??? 😌💖
(Binge, as in, uncontrollable, unhealthy, large amounts of food... not just eating over your preferred intake)
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"I couldn't be anorexic because I love food too much."
No, you "couldn't" be anorexic because it's a disorder, NOT 👏🏼 A 👏🏼 DIET 👏🏼
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I mentally cannot cope with how fat I’ve gotten. My weight is making me agitated, angry and I feel disgusting. I need to lose this weight NOW.
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We all become addicted to something that takes the pain away.
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You ever go get those “so fat you can’t do anything” moods?
You just look and feel so fat you can’t
socialize
work
study
function
go out
LIVE?
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You know
you have an addiction
when you say
“this is my last drink,
my last pill,
my last cut,
my last purge”
because you wouldn’t have to say that
if you weren’t addicted
but you are addicted and it infiltrates your every thought and controls you
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Fruit and veggie binges exist. I can devour 10 apples in one sitting or an entire cantaloupe. While it may not be an entire pizza, the eating is uncontrollable and I’m so full I can barely move afterwards.
Binges aren’t about calories; they are about uncontrollable eating.
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Me when I see a thin girl:
How??!
What do you do?
What do you eat?
Do you even eat?
Are you an athlete?
Fast metabolism?
Have an ED?!?!??
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Am I the only one who hates phone calls, no matter who it is??? Like just fucking text me. I have anxiety okay.
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"You're too quiet"
Me: *tries to talk*
People:
-ignores me
-doesn't care what I have to say
-talks over me
-shuts down my ideas
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Ok
y'all.
boyfriends are lovers and supporters
not doctors
not therapists
not nutritionists
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Dr: EDs are very serious and life threatening
Also Dr: You aren't anorexic because you're BMI doesn't fall below 18. Come back later.
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