Captain Samoosa
@TheSamosaRunner
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#اليوم_الوطني_السعودي_94
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振替休日
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熱田イオン
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Today, my really close friend was telling me about married life & having baby grow up... And That how he can have THE WORST day at work but just knowing he has a wife at home comforts him... And as soon as his baby girl runs to him & says 'Abba' he forgets about his entire day😭
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Lowkey Nikah. Simple walimah. Long honeymoon. And move into a little place facing the ocean
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My mum was watching a documentary about orangutans and said that a mummy orangutan will look after baby orangutan for 7 years and teach baby everything. And then she said: meanwhile I'm looking after my orangutan for over 20 years😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Anonymous story
#94
The one with the Douglasdale Milk
Anonymous story
#93
(If you continue to read this story, you have to promise to make dua for all people with disabilities of any kind that want to find love but are finding it so difficult. May Allah make it easy for them & grant them a love that can only be matched in jannah💙)
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Pouring cough syrup onto a spoon and putting it into your own mouth has to be the saddest grown up thing ever
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😭😭 My dad was giving a lecture to literally anybody that will listen to him and was talking about marriage & the sunnah & how the Prophetﷺ used to help his wives in the house and my mother asks: so when you're gonna start? 😭💀😭💀😭
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All girls do is cry and drop their hair everywhere
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You're literally a made-up place created in 1948
We have been here for 3,000 years and we're here to stay.
Terrorists trying to plunge the region into violence and darkness will never prevail.
#IsraelUnderAttack
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White people: please take a seat
Brown people: come sitsitsitsitsitsitsit
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Allah ta'ala will reward your patience and answer your duas in ways that the old you may not have even had the capacity to understand
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Muslim parents: come inside, its...
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7 Maghrib
Time
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Me to my wife after she puts her makeup on: And now we have final product, now bismillah
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You know it was a busy day when you come back home and your phone is on 72%
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*Muslim mothers shocked as daughters want to suddenly do the milk shopping*
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When I was picking up my Dada(88) for eid salaah, my Dadi(81) was still in her egg burkah; but when we came back, Dada made Salaam at the door &dadi opened & she was all dressed up & had on makeup & jewellery and Dada was speechless for a few secs & it was so sweet allahuma barik
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I don't normally ss fwd'd whatsapp messages but my mom sent me this after fajr and I'm v emotion
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When I was in grade 1, there was a Christian girl who asked me "Do you know what's God's favorite animal?" I said no. She said: A dog. Coz God spelt backwards is d-o-g
So I went home & told my mum that a dog is Allah's fav animal coz it's God backwards & she gave me a klap🤣
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Normalise praying Istikhara Salaah for more than just marriage proposals
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Allah ta'ala protect us from kidnappings and the evil intentions of others
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Me when I psswsswss and the cat actually comes to me 😭
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My cousin got married and took his wife to the Maldives on honeymoon and suddenly my aunties don't think this was an arranged marriage after all 🙃
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Anonymous story
#99
(The one where we all cried)
Anonymous story
#98
(If you continue to read this story, you have to promise to make dua for the divorced men and women who may be judged unfairly & harshly by the community - who may not know the entire truth. May Allah ta'ala help them and grant us all happiness and success)
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When you know you have a ton of work to do but change your profile Pic instead
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Did it hurt when you did LO for 6 years but can't orientate your life
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Imagine having a little crackhead who's ingredients are 50% you and 50% the loyl
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Pray for my dad yall, ain't nothing wrong with him he just forgot it's my mom's bday and she doesn't want us to remind him 😂😭💀💀😂😭
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'ay you know I'm awake from Fajr time'
- Muslim proverb
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The battle for the hot water
- families on eid morning
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The best thing I heard today was that: brown boys want a housewife but don't even have their own house😭😭😂😭😂😭😂😂😂😭😂
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Anyone else get excited to go back to sleep after fajr🥰🥰
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Who else is turning 30 during this decade? Pls I need a support group for this
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You know when babies wake up from their sleep and start crying? Bro, same
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I think about Mr & Mrs Douglasdale Milk like almost once a day and I really really hope they're okay
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I've been told of so many marriages that have ended in divorce recently & its so sad coz there's so much unnecessary extravagance that goes into the wedding that it seems like more time went into preparing the wedding than preparing yourself to be a good spouse. Allah protect us
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If he can't light up a braai, how's he gonna light up your life?¿
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GUYS MY NANI IS GROWING A PINEAPPLE OUT OF A POTPLANT ON HER BALCONY AND I AM LOSING IT BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE SOME WITCHCRAFT
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Romantically, I'm trying to take a picture of the moon with an android phone
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I'm getting anxious because come eid day, our tl's would potentially be filled with eid related content & unnecessary photosets and it's going to distract us away from what is happening in
#Palestine
and it's going to create a false sense of 'calm' whereas that won't be the case
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This could be us, but that looks like Maghrib time
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Only soft spoken people know what it's like when you're talking to your group of friends and then someone with a louder voice speaks over you... and you'll probably never get a chance to finish what you were saying
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May Allah ta'ala grant you goodness & grant you better
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That flex in the 2nd Pic is just too strong 😭😭
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Normal person: he fell
Durban people: bali caught a drop
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Be honest, you once tasted straight vanilla essence didn't you?
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Lol imagine doing the dishes with a single basin kitchen sink 💀💀
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*opens burger*
*places chips neatly inside*
*closes burger*
Me to me: You know I'm something of a gourmet chef myself
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If you're reading this, it was meant for you too ♥
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If you marry an aalimah, will she give you the masala or the mas'ala first
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Tea after esha, when the kitchen is clean is so much more satisfying than tea just after eating
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Today my friend was telling me about his wife's online business and he showed me her IG page and her own website and it was such a 🥺 moment because he's obvz so proud of her but it's also so sweet coz like imagine someone hypes you up even when she wasn't there
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ⓘ this user wants Friday lunch, Friday afternoon nap and a post Nikah hug
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Did you see how close the rocket was? All they can do is survive & send more footage out of
#Palestine
. It's our job to share it with the world. Remember that the footage we are able to see is what someone is alive to post
#GazaUnderAttack
#savepalestine
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I'm not even here for the caption just look at how tight that hug is😭😭😭😭😭😭
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One thing becomes more & more apparent as you get older and that is the need & desire to find happiness; so always make dua for the happiness of others because you never know who will say ameen or if the angels will hear you and say ameen
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Maybe I was raised different, but I feel very uncomfortable that a glass pot is on the (gas) stove
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If he:
- Carries a heater in his bag
- Puts a note on your windscreen
- Gives you sunflower seeds
🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩
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*At the airport*
"Go sit down there quickly before someone comes!"
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During the jumuah Bayaan, The imam made such a good point in that: we treat Ramadan like an exam... Which is good. However, Ramadan should be more like our trials where we train ourselves to be better, coz our actual exam begins on the 1st Shawwaal & continues throughout the year
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Bro what's our comeback if we're fighting with our parents and they hit us with: atleast I found someone who wants to marry me 😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣😭😭
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May Allah ta'ala grant us strength in our patience; and grant us such that we feel like our patience was rewarded
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Ranting wife 🤝🤝 r̶e̶p̶l̶y̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶p̶r̶a̶c̶t̶i̶c̶a̶l̶ ̶p̶o̶s̶i̶t̶i̶v̶e̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶-̶w̶o̶r̶l̶d̶ ̶s̶o̶l̶u̶t̶i̶o̶n̶s̶ 𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐭 𝐮𝐩 & 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬 husband
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Okay hear me out,
Surprise proposal by putting the ring - not in her food... But in the Atchaar bowl.
And when she asks: what Atchaar is that?
You can be like: CARAT ATCHAAR
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My name could be violence and still nobody would wake up and choose me
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When you take off your mask
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One second you buying ice cream and the next you're getting married
Isn’t it crazy how everything in your life can change within seconds.
والله خير الماكرين
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My aunt showed us all the fruit-bearing trees in her garden but can't eat from them coz 🐒🐒 eat them. She didn't curse the 🐒but said "It wasn't in my taqdir. It was written for them"
And I think its so beautiful to use an Allah-conscious mindset in even the small things in life
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When my dad forgets my name, he calls me chief. Also, My dad only has 2 children
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Bro these Gen Z kids baby pictures are on their Google cloud account. My baby pictures are in a photo album in my mother's cupboard😭
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Alhumdulillah we got married last year, all within a week. Had our wonderful sons a month ago and just moved into our new home last week. And yes, we do drink Douglasdale milk in our household 😂
(😭😭😭Bro I'm crying 😭😭😭)
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If I don't reply to you immediately it's because I'm waiting for happy me to reply to you
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Something about Muslim youths posing and taking pics with a decapitated sheep head that just doesn't sit right with me🙃
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How do we explain to other parents that we learnt parenting from tips Twitter
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@ girls,
How would you react to finding out (after ma4riage) that your husband kept a small notebook diary and handwrote in it everytime he thought about you in the days between when you first met, and your wedding day
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Did your parents also get you up early the day before holiday ends to prepare you for when school started
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Kinda crazy how peak 'muslim' comedy is a guy putting on a burkah and talking like his aunty
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My 6 year old baby cousin uthmaan:
Sometimes I pretend like I'm reading a book so my brothers and sister don't trouble me, but I don't know how to read
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I love Durban because it always rains when jhb people come💞
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Twitter is baiting you with fancy animated like buttons to distract you from the fact that your dm's are dry and nobody loves you
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My aunt told me that this tank of a man came to see her and they served him samoosas. And Gujarati culture is that the plate can't be empty so her mom kept frying more & more samoosas coz he kept finishing the plate... Mans clocked over 4 dozen samoosas AND STILL SAID NO😭😂😭😂
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I open Twitter when I wake up and read it like the news
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Today we buried my dada's only remaining sister. And even tho she was 90+ years old, and always covered up, the amount of concern of preserving the hayaa of a female body is both mind-blowing and heart-warming.
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The moon saw you chowing all that barfee & naankatai and was like nah this child needs to fast again
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I can't be the only one but I feel really really guilty to 'celebrate' eid after everything we've seen in the last few days
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Holiday means you have to ask yourself 4 times a day: am I really hungry or just bored?
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The strength in this video is immeasurable
Despite bullets, stun grenades, sound grenades, arrests and checkpoints, this is Al Aqsa tonight.
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Mans said 🥕Om🥕nom🥕nom🥕
😮Omg my assignments due😮
🥕Om🥕nom🥕nom🥕
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