Pøgba Senior
@TheSaItIsHere
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• Hi Paul, I was your fan • Then I became cooler • Now I'm your Air Conditioner •
Joined December 2019
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Pinned Tweet
The best/funniest tweets by footballers
A thread:
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LOOOOOOOOL I'm in tears. He's genuinely kept up with this lie to the point where it's made the news. Kid's got ice in his veins
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One defender stops crimes, the other commits them. And people say our CB partnership doesn't have balance
Victor Lindelof stopped a thief from stealing an elderly woman's bag in Sweden today and held him until police arrived, reports
@Aftonbladet
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Lampard sacked? The fuck am I meant to do with all these now?
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How does a guy whose whole career was being a sub not know when to make subs
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You just know the Americans are gonna be making films about COVID-19 where they make it out like they single handedly ended the whole pandemic themselves. Someone like The Rock will play the badass scientist who finds the cure while also fighting terrorists for some reason
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Morgan Schneiderlin's said the main reason Martial was so good in his first season is because he couldn't speak English so he didn't understand what Van Gaal was telling him to do LOOOOOOOOOOL
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By this logic I should currently be under contract with Brazzers
Jack Grealish watching Tottenham for like the 7th game in a row?
Sign him up.
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Goals against the Premier League top 6:
Ronaldo: 28
Messi: 26
One of these men was in the Premier League for 6 seasons. The other has never set foot in it
"He's not Ronaldo!" Lionel Messi would struggle in the Premier League says Emmanuel Petit |
@TomHopkinson
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I'm telling you whichever youth coach made Marcos Alonso a LB robbed us of one of the greatest strikers of this generation
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"It's cheating"
Bro, this you?
It’s wrong to say Martial’s dive didn’t matter. It does matter. He keeps doing it & keeps getting away with it. He’ll do it again & again until someone puts a stop to his nonsense. It’s cheating. I’m pleased Rashford has stopped doing it - but Fernandes has to be watched closely
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Imagine spending 200million and getting dunked on by Lacazette and Xhaka LOOOOOOOOOL
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I don't care how good he was, if you heard the audio recordings and saw the pictures and you still back Greenwood you are not a normal person
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They'll overturn the Bednarek red card easily because we were already 7-0 up. They were never gonna overturn the David Luiz one because they can't admit their precious refs made a wrong decision that actually changed the game. The FA and PL refs have such an insane ego problem
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Was just in Tesco and grabbed the last two loaves of bread. The old woman behind me saw there was none left and had a very sad look on her face. She looked weak and feeble so I went over to her trolley and took her milk and eggs. Sorry Maureen but this is survival of the fittest
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If you can watch football and tell me that Messi isn't the greatest to ever do it this sport ain't for you dawg
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If Liverpool are fuming at VAR now just wait until you play Man Utd this season. Imagine Klopp's reaction when the ref let's us kick off the second half with a penalty
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Do you know that kid who gets his parents to buy him Fifa points so he can have a great Ultimate Team yet still be complete shit at the game? That is Frank Lampard
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I've never seen this Obafemi bastard before in my life. He was created at half time just to ruin my fucking night
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Neymar to PSG is the worst transfer of all time. Stalled his own career and ruined the market forever
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Klopp starting Salah and Mane against Aston Villa's youth team
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Chelsea fans don't even know the result, they're all sat refreshing Fabrizio's TL
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All you rival fans should be rooting for Man Utd tomorrow btw. We're the last hope for the PL to not be bantered and called a farmer's league in Europe. When we foul a Sevilla attacker in our box and the ref points to a penalty for us don't question that shit, just go with it man
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Don't tell me Arteta won the debate with Ole and Lampard. There were no winners here
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KDB out injured. Vardy out injured. The entire Liverpool squad ghosting. Ole needs to be investigated. This guy is definitely partaking in some Norwegian voodoo
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Chelsea have just announced their 6th signing of the summer and the Man Utd twitter account is getting ready to respond by promoting a subscription to MUTV. Getting to the point where I'm gonna have to just ask this admin to come outside and fight me
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It really ain't the Champions League without Bayern Munich demolishing a London club in the round of 16
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Crying at actual Utd fans upset that the protest has ruined their Sunday viewing of our annual 0-0 draw against Liverpool
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I hope the Man Utd admin doesn't think us signing just Van De Beek will allow him some peace. I ain't stopping until we get Sancho, a left back and a centre back as well
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I already know Maguire is gonna give an interview as if he's being controlled by the dialogue wheel from career mode and Rashford will write a 4 page apology essay on twitter. I can't keep doing this every week
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Should be a little more specific next time bro
Let’s pray today is the day Aubameyang ends his goal drought. We truly need him firing.
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Pulisic didn't play this well when he was in the Bundesliga
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De Gea really did inspire a generation of Spanish goalkeepers
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This is the fucking Barclays Premier League I fell in love with. None of that shit 1-0s and one or two teams dominating with 90+ points every season
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Had no choice but to scroll through Instagram while Twitter was down. These bastards are so far behind they're still making World War 3 memes
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This Wan-Bissaka performance has been a little too good. There's definitely gonna be another sex scandal revealed after the game
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She's like the WWE. I know it's all fake but that doesn't mean I'm not still gonna enjoy it
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Listen man, I've always rated Thiago. But how badly Liverpool fans overrate him just cos he plays for them is a bit much. It's like a year ago if you said 'Alcantara' to a Scouser he would have thought it was a spell from Harry Potter
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Bayern Munich's starting 11 cost the same amount as Harry Maguire
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Rangnick telling everyone Klopp and Tuchel were his students
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Play the Champions League anthem before the second half and then these bastards might actually turn up. And as a bonus it'll distract the Arsenal players because they'll have no idea what it is
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What a scummy little bastard Mason Greenwood is. No excuses fucking sack him
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Man had to leave the house and record this in the car so his mum didn't yell at him 😭
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The fact that we all instantly knew what happened in the shootout would result in racism tells you everything you need to know about this country. These scummy bastards didn't deserve the win
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Cheeky bastard's stole my quote
"For a manager who spent his life coming on as a substitute, how can he not know when to make a sub!?"
Solskjaer's decision to keep Fred on the pitch against PSG baffled
@Mrjamieohara1
#MUFC
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Need Maguire to be scoring headers like that ffs. He always wins them but never gets them on target because his head is in the shape of a perfect cube and the ball always seems to hit one of the corners
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I'm not even an Arsenal fan and watching Willian makes me angry. It's not normal how shit he is
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Ballon D'or shouts for Jorginho you know. Chelsea twitter most dangerous propaganda machine we've seen since 1930s Germany
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Don't tell me Harry Kane ain't the best striker in the world. This mf single handedly made everyone think Jose wasn't finished
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Why do people even slander Arsenal anymore? It's like going out of your way to chat shit about Burnley
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After the way Chelsea fans celebrated Willian leaving like they won the treble, how were the alarm bells not ringing for you lot 😭
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Realistically how can you be a Man Utd fan and have a Bruno Fernandes agenda? Without this guy playing we are not even a football team 😭
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It seems that Arsenal fans have just discovered the concept of languages
How cool is it that Ødegaard speaks perfect Spanish like Mikel?
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MARCUS RASHFORD HAT-TRICK BORIS ARE YOU WATCHING YOU FAT BLONDE BASTARD
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You all laughed when I said the reason Maguire never gets his headers on target is because his skull is a perfect cube and the ball always hits one of the corners. It wasn't a joke, it's a biological fact
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Nah but remember guys, Chelsea are top three teams in Europe because they beat Burnley and Sheffield Utd LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
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If the Greek police have watched Harry Maguire play CB this season I highly doubt they're gonna believe he's capable of self defence
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That's class. We asked for them to fix the gameplay, maybe make it so goalkeepers aren't completely useless and they took that on board and gave us an interactive L'Oréal commercial
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Class three points but we've helped out Arsenal by beating one of their relegation rivals
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From Cavani's perspective he was literally just thanking his mate. If you wanna educate him on why it's not acceptable and the differences in culture that's fine. But a three game ban is just the FA overcompensating to make people think they actually give a shit about racism
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Look at the world class pool of attackers Southgate has to choose from. This is the same level football I see Sean Dyche produce every week in the prem with Ashley Barnes and Johan Berg Gudmundsson
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No way a Stoke City reject has had to bail out the most expensive attack in the world LOOOOOOOOOL
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Henderson same rating as Pogba and one higher than Thiago.. EA have got us by the balls and they know it. No one is switching to PES with it's gameplay stuck in 2009. They spit in our face every year and we'll carry on buying. This is the devil in the form of a games developer
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Ayo I've only just realised it's been exactly a year since I've had this account. Can't believe 187 thousand people follow to see me chat shit on a daily basis lmao. I appreciate you all
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Jose should just leave management and become a full time reality TV star. He's so charismatic and naturally entertaining. I'd be tuning in every week to watch Keeping up with the Mourinhos
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I personally love to play as a defensive false nine because it allows me to miss countless easy goalscoring chances without getting any criticism
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Give it up for Leeds though, what a team. Any team can get slapped 3-0 but it takes real quality to do it in style like that. Mesmerising. Shag my arse Bielsa you tactical wizard
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"If we were Man Utd that would have been given as a penalty." Yeah but guess what? You're not Man Utd
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Still can't believe we nearly dropped 50million on Sean Longstaff last year just because he's English and had a good game against Man City. He's just disappeared. His little ginger brother is even better than him now and all that prick does is turn up against Man Utd twice a year
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Danny Ings has been slapping Premier League defences all season yet I'm seeing people say the greatest player of all time couldn't cut it lmaooooo
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People that actually make a full time living from writing and giving their opinions about football have decided that Jordan Henderson has had a better individual season than Kevin De Bruyne lmaooooooo
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Watching Amad Diallo for the under 23s on LFCTV instead of MUTV so the Glazers don't get any of my money
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Zero signings made. Our one concrete link to a player has gone completely dead. The only thing that's been announced is Ighalo's sponsorship with a soap brand. And to top it all off our record fee CB and club captain is currently in a Greek jail cell. This fucking club man
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Pep is so weird. Why in every UCL knockout game does he feel the need to randomly change his lineup and tactics like a 12 year old experimenting with Football Manager for the first time? There's something not right in his big bald head
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If they do actually host the Euros in England we've gotta sack Southgate ASAP. Imagine we get home advantage along with a golden group of attackers and this bucktooth bastard parks the bus against North Macedonia
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Man Utd gonna wait until I'm sleeping to announce Van De Beek so I can't reply asking for Sancho, Upamecano and Reguilon
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Ending of Messi's career being remembered for a World Cup win. Ending of Ronaldo's career being remembered for an interview with Piers Morgan
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A lot of my Nigerian followers have just told me about what's happening in their country. The fact that there's barely any coverage for this level of police brutality is unbelievable. Help raise awareness
#EndSARS
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If you think about it we don't really even need Reguilon. We have Luke Shaw coming back from injury soon and he's a useless fat hunk of shit oh my god I hate this fucking club
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Seeing so many people slate Guardiola for today and it's not fair. What's he supposed to do with the most stacked squad in the league after spending nearly half a billion on just his defence? Not concede 5 to Leicester? Don't be stupid
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Someone get a camera on Souness ASAP, I need to see the veins in his head bulging in anger from that Pogba masterclass
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Lukaku when Zlatan tries shake his hand after the game
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I'm crying ffs, we're playing the team who are bottom of the league with only one point all season and literally none of us are confident of a win. These are some next level emotional scars man
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WE FINALLY TOOK ADVANTAGE OF EVERYONE DROPPING POINTS
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Cavani or Jovic on loan to replace Ighalo would be phenomenal. Imagine having a striker at the club because he's actually a good goalscorer and not because he wore Andy Cole pyjamas as a kid
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