PUNS
@ThePunnyWorld
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Follow for the most hilarious puns and dad jokes! Not affiliated with any of my tweets.
Joined May 2014
"What are your dogs' names?". Me: "Calvin and Klein.". "Isn't that a brand of underwear?". Me: "Exactly, they're boxers.".
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I once lost a job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
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Why didn't Beethoven buy a house?. Because he was looking Für Elise.
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Today I found out that Dwayne Johnson lives in the apartment above mine. Can’t believe that for years I've been living under a Rock.
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This morning I coughed up a pawn, a knight and a bishop. I must have a chess infection.
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My wife has banned me from making any more breakfast puns. She says if I make any more, I'm toast. But my kids keep egging me on.
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Saw a man standing on one leg at an ATM. Confused, I asked him what he was doing. He said: “Just checking my balance.”.
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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? . Because they lactose.
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Did you hear about the sensitive burglar?. He takes things personally.
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