PUNS
@ThePunnyWorld
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Follow for the most hilarious puns and dad jokes! Not affiliated with any of my tweets.
Joined May 2014
My wife handed me two kayak paddles and asked, "Which one do you want?" I said, "I'd take either oar."
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Check out my mid-season highlights! Olathe North HS, Olathe KS C/O 2027 WR/DB/KOR/ATH 5'11" 160 4.49sec 40yrd @MSwain247 @The_RyanWallace @WOWKCfootball
@ONeaglesFB @BCfootballHF @on3recruits @ChadSimmons_ @Hayesfawcett3 @cargile_wade @KSScoutDeck @JPRockMO @Matt_Simpson01
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When one door opens, another one closes. Other than that, it's a pretty good car.
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I had the rudest, slowest, nastiest cashier today I guess it's my own fault for using the self-checkout lane.
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What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the Galaxy.
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To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word.
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I asked the librarian if they had any books on amplifiers. She said, “Yes, what volume would you like?”
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Did you know Teslas don't have that new car smell? They have more of an Elon Musk.
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Not many people know this but I actually studied Dad Jokes in college. I majored in sighchology
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I finally did it! Bought a new pair of shoes with memory foam insoles. No more forgetting why I walked into the kitchen.
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My grandfather invented the cold air balloon. Unfortunately the idea never got off the ground.
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