Captain Obvious™️
@TheFungi669
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As my high IQ followers know, I have never faked a sarcasm.
Joined December 2021
Yesterday, I took my 21 year old dog to the vet to put her down. I sat in the car with her and cried. She sat on my lap and started licking my face. We turned around and drove back home. It wasn’t time for her to go.
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I plan to post a lot of funny tweets about Trump’s visit to Russia. If you follow me, then urine luck!.
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Crime in D.C. has skyrocketed since last year. 99% of the crimes are committed at one location: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
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The best way to tell if someone is a Trump supporter is to ask them if they’re vaccinated.
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Pam Bondi and Marjorie Greene always confuse me. I can’t tell which witch is which.
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The best way to tell if something is true is when Trump says it’s fake.
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Just in: Devin Nunes is en route to Russia in advance of the Trump-Putin meeting. He’ll be with his favorite cow: Moscow.
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Why do Trump and Melania give me Boris and Natasha vibes?.
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RT @TheFungi669: Lauren Boebert: “The reason why President Trump confused Russia and Alaska is because they share the same border.”.
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Do you seriously believe that the guy who inflated the value of his properties to get loans is now inflating the job numbers to look good?. Get dafuq outta here!.
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Trump: “I plan to distribute tariff dividend checks to American families.”. Me: “That’s not a dividend; it’s a refund for tariff taxes already paid by American families.”.
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Weird how every time Trump leaves D.C. crime there goes down by 58%.
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My wife: “How can Lauren Boebert give Trump fellatio on a cold windy day?”. Me: “The answer is blowing in the wind.”.
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Lauren Boebert: “The reason why President Trump confused Russia and Alaska is because they share the same border.”.
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The best way to reduce crime in D.C. is to remove Trump from office.
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Alaska state troopers used barricades, bollards, lane closures and flag men so that Trump can meet Putin. Why?. So that the chicken could cross the road.
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I hate being a member of a political party that shows up to a gunfight with plastic forks.
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China tariffs were delayed yet again. Why?. Because it’s TACO Tuesday.
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