Let's start a thread of your worst Tinder hook up, mine was when we we're doing it doggy style and her cat jumps onto the bed and scratches my ass so I reach back and push it off the bed a little to hard and it thuds into the wall and we had to stop so she could go check on it.
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@TheDrunkJake
Was with this guy and he stopped in the middle of it and said “so am I better than my brother?”
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@TheDrunkJake
i walked into a messy ass room with a half eaten muffin on the counter it lasted 5 mins with no foreplay and the kissing was him smushing my face till i couldn’t breathe he proceeded to eat the muffin after and then told me “i’m taking a shit then heading out bye”
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@bpdeathly
I did something like that once, I had class that morning so I told her just leave whenever she wants but I cooked her up an omelet real quick and left it on the side table by the bed for her. I came back and she was still asleep so I took the omelet and ate it in the living room
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@TheDrunkJake
Got to his apartment and he told me his ex gf still lived with him....it was a one bedroom apartment
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@TheDrunkJake
He was french and we talked for four days and then on the fourth day told me he loved me in French after we forked but I speak french so i was like what and he was like what and i was like you should probably leave and we never spoke again
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@TheDrunkJake
his favorite food was “plain yogurt or ham” and he “didn’t like music or bars”. middle of the date he starts loudly sobbing about how his wife used him for a green card but he was actually in love with her and didn’t want to get a divorce.
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@TheDrunkJake
He asked me for my choker and put it on, stretching it out w his watermelon head. He also kept popping my bra strap bc we’re 8 years old?? I honestly fucked him so he’d shut the hell up but afterwards he added me to a list of people he’s fucked. I was number 33 :,-)
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@RaquelleCherae
sounds like you should've just choked him to shut him up, but who keeps a list honestly
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@TheDrunkJake
Not even a hook up but still the worst- guy took me to see Bohemian Rhapsody then after the movie admitted he had no idea who Queen or Freddie Mercury were. Got into a heated fight about religion with me on the way home. Then kissed me & bit my lip so hard it bled & turned purple
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@miaaaaa_p
Hey I'm Jake
I'm not saying they should've cast me as Freddie Mercury but...
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@TheDrunkJake
mine was a guy who came over to watch netflix. we were sitting on the couch next to each and he wouldn't talk to me in person. he messaged me on snapchat to move closer to him...texted my friend to call me and get me out of there. we ended up making out, it was like kissing a dog
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@TheDrunkJake
wait can i just say that we never hooked up but that’s because when i was setting up netflix on his tv he said “YOU MATCH WITH GIRLS TOO???” and i look back and he had taken my phone, scrolled all the way back to the last page, and opened my tinder app. not a red flag at all!!
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@endofanerajc
I don't even like looking through my own phone, much less anyone elses. What was he expecting to find on tinder?
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