TfGM
@Tfgm_official
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Transport for Greater Manchester is now GREATER MANCHESTER PASSENGER TRANSPORT EXECUTIVE GMPTE
Manchester
Joined January 2012
Got to Dance is a great show. Just gets bigger every series.
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We can definitely recommend following James Corden (@JKCorden) if dancing cats and Janaury Christmas updates aren't really your bag.
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I think that's six followers lost in the last ten minutes. Was it the cats or the santa retweet? Or possibly both?
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Last chance to visit the Christmas Mkts in Alb Sq & St Ann's Sq today before the traders pack up and go home to their families! #manchester
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We're not the first with this idea. Sweden replaced their trams with erratic taunting alpacas in 2002. Very successfully we might add.
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The public will never see the benefits analysis. "It's confidential", we'll say. The public will just see whimsical dancing cats.
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"But how will they run?!", people will exclaim. "They won't", we'll reply, "but benefit 4.3 clearly shows why that's a worthwhile decision."
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We are thinking of replacing all trams with whimsical dancing cats. Only a thorough benefits analysis stands between us and the dream.
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Therefore, unless you have shitty bones, you can now approach the swans. Just to repeat: there are swans at Trafford Bar. Bring bread.
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We can confirm that only a swan wing at full span, striking a weak-boned individual at full velocity, could actually cause bone fracture.
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Until we can confirm, please don't approach the swans. But do throw them bread. From a safe distance, obviously.
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Our Chief Exec is currently looking in to whether it's actually true that a swan can break your arm. We'll let you know as soon as we can.
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We are hearing reports of swans congregating at Trafford Bar. If you are planning to travel please bring bread. Repeat: bring bread.
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Perfect service on the Bury line. Stand ready for the Two Minutes Hate.
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The Bury line is an unline. It does not exist: it has never existed. WAR IS PEACE. FREEDOM IS SLAVERY. IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.
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BBC chef Nigel Slater has been whispering crude sexual words at a turkey thigh at Chorlton for hours now. Severe delays. Take a fucking bus.
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Metrolink staff at Sale are acting out that Friends episode where Joey's fridge breaks.
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Ricky Gervais on the Eccles line. We've shut it down completely and will be setting it on fire later as a precaution. Reopening March 2014.
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First up there are honey badgers all over the fucking show at Piccadilly. You'll do well to get out alive.
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