TayZonday
@TayZonday
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Chocolate Rainmaker. Singer. Voice. Internet Legend. | Business: [email protected] Cameo: https://t.co/E2oHABmzLm
Joined May 2007
Being poor now just leads to being more poor later. Can't pay to clean your teeth? Next year, pay for a root canal. Can't pay for a new mattress? Next year, pay for back surgery. Can't pay to get that lump checked out? Next year, pay for stage 3 cancer. Poverty charges interest.
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Chocolate rain. Some stay dry and others wonder why Breonna Taylor’s murderers haven’t been arrested.
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Haha, you’re old now.
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12 years ago today, Chocolate Rain was released unto the world
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My back is killing me after sleeping three nights on my memory foam couch to avoid the smell of rotting rat flesh in my bedroom.
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. @FortniteGame better not make any dance moving away from the mic to breathe in! 😜.
Backpack Kid, 16, sues video games Fortnite and NBA 2k for using his dance move without asking for permission or paying him
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@divinedre11 20+40 = 60, 8+7 = 15, 60+15 = 75. I understand what “carry the 1” brains do but it seems so rote and out-of-touch with the meta-picture.
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Something about driving my 3,000 pound car to get my 150 pound body to the gym to lose 5 pounds makes me think we got civilization wrong.
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When you ask a person "how have you been?," the words "I am lost and totally dissatisfied with life" usually come out as "Good! You?".
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Sometimes I forget that I'm me in public. Then an adult screams "Chocolate Rain!!" like a giddy toddler and I want to find the guy too.
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When I was young, I got jealous of snapshots of peoples' lives. Now that I'm older, I am not so jealous because I have seen the whole video.
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Most adults use The Internet to support their own biases. Like a 3-year-old studying why cookies are healthy and bedtime is unnecessary.
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I take a different view than @Ninja. As a cisgendered man, I should speak first about sexism and patriarchy. As a U.S. citizen, I should speak first about xenophobia. When I’m able-bodied, I should speak first about physical disabilities. Unearned blessing is a call of duty.
Ninja says parents should parent their kids, citing that it's "not [his] job to teach kids about racism and White Privilege."
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You can't be gay in Saudi Arabia. Women can't hold political office. Yet the U.S. celebrates $100 billion in contracts. Why? I'm confused.
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When did "poor," "sick," "old," "disabled," "Black," "Hispanic," "trans," "gay," "Muslim" and "undocumented" become synonyms for "outsider?".
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Today is my birthday. This was me celebrating my birthday in pre-school.
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Dating as you get older is like shopping for a new car, then a used car, then a vintage car, then you're so lonely you'll take a skateboard.
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I have never used marijuana. But it’s bittersweet that I can now buy it for recreation in California. Twenty years ago when I was in high school, so many kids had their lives destroyed because of how marijuana interfaced with criminal justice. Years of tears we haven’t confronted.
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I am pregnant with triplet alien babies! Their names are Reason, Context and Consideration. Will they be welcome on Earth?.
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I lost 18 pounds last month. It was the same 3 pounds six different times.
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One great thing about The Internet is I don't need to travel to experience new extremes. Every day I see the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
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We should remember that the entertainment industry does not have a higher rate of misconduct or abuse compared to other industries. It has higher accountability due to fame. The vast majority of wealthy and powerful people are not famous. Justice shouldn't require famous names.
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Just cause every year the Internet congratulates me on the wrong date, my actual birthday is today, May 21. I don't make a big deal of it.
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Every Internet argument has these characters:.1) The person who responds to a position you did not take. 2) The person who demands facts—but if you show them facts, all are compromised/invalid. 3) The person who is offended on behalf of some surprise group. Bagels, perhaps.
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Lets talk about #aspergers (a thread) since @GretaThunberg is being bullied for this: 1) I'm diagnosed by multiple practitioners as having high-functioning autism with aspergers. "Having" is a problematic verb. I don't "have" blackness or "have" maleness or "have" brown-eye-ness.
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Sexually attractive people get mistakes overlooked that normal people don't. Being average, I see many hot people do worse and get further.
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I'm going to note that historically, "witch hunts" targeted religious, political and sexual minorities, not titular heads of civil power.
This is the single greatest witch hunt of a politician in American history!.
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Merry Christmas! Remember: hunger is a policy choice. Deflating the value of labor and sustaining an unemployed labor pool are not accidents; they're they're continuing policy goals. SNAP isn't a pension. It keeps families alive. Poverty isn't personal failure; it's public policy.
BREAKING: Trump admin. has formalized work requirements for recipients of food stamps, a move that will cause nearly 700,000 people to lose access to the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP).
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I know I'm an adult when I get excited to fix two toilets with one total repair kit. The flapper is broken in one, the flusher in the other.
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@LilNasX The irony is that you and Nike have compatible public justice positions — they just didn’t call out theology’s historic and contemporary complicity in animating that injustice from Eden to Rome to Satan. They could just lean-in. 🤷🏽♂️.
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You're not gonna believe this: They make me license myself and register my car because it's dangerous and I could kill people. WTF?.
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You were an athlete. You were an artist. You were an intellectual. We needed more role models like you. RIP Kobe Bryant. #Kobe.
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Sometimes I'm sad and it feels like life is falling apart. Then I realize, I just haven't eaten. I don't need Prozac. I need Big Mac.
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Anxiety is like being asked to go for a swim with humanity but you wear sand bags and they wear flippers.
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@realDonaldTrump I'm confused. Have specific persons who might seek asylum been identified as criminals by a U.S. Government agency? Are you saying that you have the power to predict who will commit crimes? If so, please use this power to stop innocent death in churches, schools and restaurants.
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I keep looking for relationships to be my medication. But humans are a circus pharmacy: the pills don't match the labels.
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You know why I’m sick of social media? I feel like a parent driving a car with 7 billion kids in back and I am so, so tired of yelling every five seconds. “Billy! Stop attacking Sally! Shake hands with Frederick! Tell Bobby to share pizza with Linda!” But these kids are leaders.
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Today marks 11 years since I uploaded "Chocolate Rain" to Youtube!. "Chocolate Rain" 10th Anniversary version: My Instagram: My Discord: My Twitch: Actor Reels:
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Don't bother being the right drop in an ocean of wrong. You won't change the tide. Be a moon. Then you are the tide.
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@JordanUhl "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." -- Maya Angelou.
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@CBSNews As a black man with a white father, this is basically the advice I got. Rings true!.
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I endlessly wonder about people from my past. Like how did my pre-school teacher's life turn out? Or that other awkward kid in 7th grade?.
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I was banned from anything remotely violent as a kid. No GI Joes. No Ninja Turtles. Not even a squirt gun. No shows like Macgyver. No movies like Indiana Jones. It used to anger me. Now I see they tried to make a non-violent man in a world where its a public and private epidemic.
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The problem with being trapped is you get so dependent on imagining your freedom that once you are free, you build a new trap.
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Don't keep friends who build thrones. Keep friends who build bleachers so you can sit at the top with them.
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I would rock long hair if I was not terrified of flat irons. Every time I tried it was like "Oh God I am not coordinated enough. I'm going to be in Chocolate pain!".
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The world has too many men who dress like Rockefellers but act like Flintstones.
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I’m so tired, I pushed the button on my car keys to unlock my house.
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Part of the challenge of mourning dead loved-ones is that they’re like a friend you went to see an important movie with — but they had to go to the bathroom ten minutes in and never returned. You want to tell them what happened after they had to leave, but nothing does the job.
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I am a fork in a world where everybody eats pudding and worships spoons. Someday, a steak will land and the haters will beg and apologize.
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My biggest fear in adulthood is reaching the point where I have no one left to scream for if I’m about to die — and I’ve also made no offspring who would scream for me — so somehow I’ve dropped the torch of my own anthropology. Something failed to be immortal that had to be.
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I don’t want to send love. I don’t want to send prayers. I don’t want to debate the 2nd amendment which could literally be interpreted to say Americans have the right to build megaton nukes in their closets. I just want policy that makes random war zones in daily life less likely.
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Part of aging is that you injure yourself in dumb, impossible ways. For example: I almost just chipped my tooth on an ironing board.
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If ONE more stranger asks me "are you that Purple Rain guy?" . .
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I have never used the Internet to bully or shame an individual. Doing so is tasteless and uncivil. My decorum is better than my opinion.
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Do you ever lay awake at night convinced that your life is teetering toward inevitable tragedy--that you are powerless to fix your relationship with the world -- and that friends, lovers, jobs, and family vanish one by one as you recede from civilization? Asking for a stranger.
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@realDonaldTrump Many of these fires are on federal land administered by the Buereau of Land Management -- part of the Department Of The Interior. Its head, @RyanZinke , attends your cabinet meetings. Also, most California wildfires take place on land few Americans would visualize as "forest.".
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I hate having a @Youtube fan base where too many people only support me as an entertainment product. These people don’t care about my thoughts, quirks or who I am. They just want me to sing. They abandon me in a heartbeat if I don’t sing. Like I’m bad weed no-longer giving a buzz.
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Here's a tip for airlines: when somebody farts, their seat should light up and oxygen masks should deploy in surrounding rows.
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When I was a kid, you had to REWIND the cassette tape to the song you liked. You had to WAIT for the show you liked to come on TV. You had to flip past topics you DIDN’T want to learn about what you wanted. We were BETTER, more tolerant humans and fans. Everything took compromise.
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Catch me on @IAmSteveHarvey tomorrow celebrating the 10th anniversary of "Chocolate Rain." I had a great time!
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When I was a kid in the early 1990s, if I heard stories like laying breathless underneath a mortally wounded colleague . they were told by veterans of World War II, Korea or Vietnam. I didn’t hear them from high school kids in wealthy suburbs. Kids shouldn’t have to be heroes.
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@VaushV 1) Many parts of our global economy (currency trading, futures, hedge funds) are glorified racehorse-betting. 2) Collective, coordinated investment supercharges weak horses. 3) The majority that has been denied prosperity can avenge this with coordinated, irrational buys.
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The vast majority of people do everything right but can't earn enough money to secure basic life needs. They get belittled, trivialized, blamed and ignored by the tiny minority for whom the world works out. Division tricks the majority into believing its own powerlessness.
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Pulling out of the Paris climate agreement is as intelligent as the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor and the German invasion of Russia.
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I really want to understand people who are different than me, but I feel the world is a Halloween party and everyone dressed as a cactus.
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Depression is like a virtual reality headset where life is made of cardboard and your feet are made of fire.
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Getting humans focus on a cause greater than their own ego is like getting a dog to fetch a "save the world" button in a room full of beef.
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Tweeting an idea in 140 characters is like painting a car with a toothpick. It leaves a lot of gaps no matter how you do it.
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The dividing line between youth and middle age is when riding a grocery store cart like a scooter stops being fun and starts to hurt.
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I have no burning need to be right all the time. I call it how I see it. Maybe tomorrow I see it better. I'm like a phone app. I get updates.
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Sometimes ingredients you love make a cake that you hate. Sometimes ingredients you hate make a cake that you love.
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Friends are like pens and scissors. If you don't keep-track and use them frequently, you can never find one -- no matter how many you have.
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Lots of controversy over #Pokemon @PokemonGoApp in sacred places. If I'm buried, you're welcome to play Pokemon there. Heck, make it a gym.
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I wish people would understand that when I am stoic and opaque, it's not because I'm feeling nothing. It's because I'm feeling everything.
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