t𝕏om𝕏s
@T_om_s
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The vernacular that emerges here is discordant, as ambitious and chaotic as life itself.
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Joined May 2010
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If I was a conspiracy minded Kate Middleton twitter investigator, which I'm not btw, I would start here
Thank you for your kind wishes and continued support over the last two months.
Wishing everyone a Happy Mother's Day. C
📸 The Prince of Wales, 2024
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The real reason I can't use American recipes is I find the word 'broil' absolutely repulsive to read
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Fabian | YIMBY | 🌹| tram appreciator | love comms too much | Eurovision | partial to a nice mug | Walthamstow via Hull | "Labour needs a real plan for growth, not whatever hot mess this decision is"
Sadiq Khan has blocked plans for the MSG Sphere in Stratford.
Mayor spokesman: 'London is open to investment from around the world...but the Mayor has seen independent evidence that shows the current proposals would result in an unacceptable negative impact on local residents.'
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This situation is competely absurd.
He has duct taped the door in his office & is exiting through the window to use the spider filled outdoor toilet that is a relic of ~1960's Ireland which I never thought I would be grateful for. Feel free to laugh. I'm laughing superficially. This situation is completely absurd.
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Was in a pub earlier that called last orders at 7.30pm! Not being funny but this should be illegal. If a hospital did this you'd never hear the end of it
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If your dog is frightened by all the loud noises this weekend, just tell it the fireworks are very friendly and only want to say hello
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The hospital bombing is probably the most sickening thing that has happened in my living memory. And we have a government and media that cheers the whole thing on, I have honestly never felt so disgusted and helpless
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Wow look at all those high rise buildings, this must be the most affordable city in the world!
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He's very friendly, he loves sheep, he's just saying hello
Two XL bully dogs kill 22 sheep in savage attack after escaping from their home
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A very specific type of wanker I hate is these 'working class' posturing academics who spend their whole life going on faux-left whinge fests about gentrification, and end up coming out with exactly the reactionary bollocks you see in the Telegraph from retired colonels
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Superbowl night...good luck getting the IT helpdesk to reset your password tomorrow morning
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Fucking lighting up public buildings to show solidarity with a government that is bombing hospitals and committing genocide, I mean I'm not under any illusions that British governments haven't always been extremely bad, but this has been next level I'm going insane stuff
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As a rule of thumb, if you ever find yourself saying "it's this thing off twitter" to someone irl, you've taken a very wrong turn. I would never talk about twitter to anyone who isn't a beloved mutual, I'm not mad!
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Nothing showing on primary, secondary, or university. Wait...what's that in the 'parental Wikipedia entry' section
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All the UK 'shitpost podcasters' who ever sucked up to yanks by playing to the 'save us on Normal Island, we hate spicy food here, everything is terrible' peanut gallery, they should all be hanged for treason
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Getting to the pub before the rest of the lads, time for a pint to yourself, even found a table, not big enough for the group but it'll do for now, soak up the ambience, it's Friday, it's Christmas, let's go.
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What if I got kicked out of private school (twice) but had fuck all problems getting a lucrative career as a management consultant and media leftist throughout
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How left wing am I? Well let's just say I don't use deliveroo...when it's windy
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Three extremely poor decisions
Three penalties not given
Which we simply cannot accept
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My favourite twitter moment this year was Michael Walker's friendly dog (that has only hospitalised him twice)
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Quite simply the best political party of all time. Three branded items!
Labour wants an end to stories like this.
We will change the law to save parents money & impose a limit of three branded items in total.
Uniform should make children smarter, not poorer.
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Americans have deeply fucked up 'race science' ideas about ethnicity/nationality. This is the common thread that runs through all their dipshit opinions about food, Zionism, culture, etc. It's why you can talk to them about anything, just mutual incomprehensibility
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People joining the "HMRC keep your hands off my side hustle" narrative because they think it's about them selling some trainers on depop and not massively exploitative airbnb slumlords etc...talk about doing your enemy's work for them!
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I don't think it's unreasonable to say I want to be able to take my kids to the pub without having to worry about them being surrounded by lads doing coke
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MPs are feeling threatened, so it must be time to wheel out Brendan Cox again to explain we should all be kind to each other. DON'T ask why he was forced out of his charity jobs btw.
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Please donate if you can, to the campaign to send Grace Blakely on another gap year
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I find the dehumanisation of Palestinians, and the way it is used to delegitimise their cause, competely terrifying tbh, too much to think about really. It is just pure fascism isn't it
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Have to admit the ongoing 'zennials against income tax' psyop gets me rattled every time
This type of shit breaks my heart and no wonder why people evade tax lol i am so angry.
£49,999 per year vs £65,000 per year
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Why would banning existing 'Bullies' inevitably condemn them to a long miserable life? You could just give them all a quick painless death tomorrow with no issues
My thoughts on this as co-owner of a bully cross…
- they are harder to train than other breeds, and given strength, more dangerous than average dog.
- problem with a ban is that even well trained dogs would be on lead + muzzle for life.
- my guess is that vast majority of…
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Oh you're a conscientious objector from the IDF? Try doing something useful next time, like never leaving the house and rapping about anarchism
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Hospitalised by his own dog (which is harmless btw)
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4.80 for a stout and a packet of crisps in Bradford. Samuel Smith you have truly lost the run of yourself I'm afraid. And I'm using my phone illegally to send this.
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Remember when loads of people on the twitter left were demanding the government make it illegal for these children to have any normal social contact during their formative years, hahaha
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Correct, after the revolution it will be illegal to charge more than £4 for a pint
Drinking culture WILL be tackled in the next cultural revolution
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It was good when Walker n Bastani said "if you're scared of XL Bullies you're just racist against the people who own them" when the people who own the all look like this
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£6.85! People used to put old cooking oil in their cars, now it's cheaper to put petrol in your cooking!
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The app is now showing me blank tweets from 1970, so probably safe to say everything is going very well at Xeet Towers
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FACT CHECK: It's actually very alienating and depressing
having a work from home email job that pays your rent is probably the most luxurious thing a human being can experience
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Having a Palestine flag in your name and describing some benign covid guidance as "nothing short of genocidal"...bit weird
people need to be able to REST when they have covid to prevent long covid and worsening symptoms. the CDC’s new one-day isolation policy is nothing short of genocidal
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Two delay repay claims submitted while I'm on a train that I'll also be able to submit a delay repay claim for
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Lockdown really was a massive laugh when you think about it (which I never do, because I'm normal)
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[the most sensible political expert voice you've ever heard]
Parliament voting for a ceasefire won't actually change anything you fucking moron, that's why it's so important to make sure a vote doesn't happen
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Just got off the phone with Suella Braverman, she said "toms, as the official spokesperson for left twitter what can I do to bring an end to your ceaseless hostility and win your endorsement, I said just ban them dogs and I'll tell everyone to vote for you" so here we are
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And as for "you're stereotyping Bully owners"...do me a favour! Why do you have one instead of a Yorkshire Terrier, because you want to project yourself as being the kind of person who owns one (ie a cunt)
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Fellas is it ADHD to leave your shit lying around everywhere
this box has been sitting in my hallway for *six weeks* and my husband has not asked me what it is, why I haven’t opened it, or if I should ever plan on moving it and this is what it’s like when both partners have ADHD.
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Some good news amidst the darkness
when was the last time someone in the London scene wrote a big piece? where have the discourses gone? something odd has happened in the last six months.
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I'm getting cooked for this, as if a 38 year old man is supposed to recognise some 'youtubers'
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"They're taking my toys away just because it's incredibly dangerous and keeps killing people and animals wahhh" I hate theses cunts so much hahaha
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Famously, compulsory education was introduced because capitalists demanded an end to people working and living happily together on the Vinted commune
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Did someone's toy advert not win a prize? Are we being sad about it? Has the world ended?
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The location tag 🧑🍳👌
HS2 was always a waste of money for the North, anyway. If you want to get to London 30-minutes earlier, leave 30-minutes earlier.
The problem is connections between and within Northern cities. Leeds is the biggest city in Europe without a light-rail or metro system.
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Put one cup corn oil in your skillet.
Broil three cups chlorinated chicken.
Add four cups curry sauce (I like Aunt Mae's High Fructose E-Z Curry).
Add one cup garlic salt, one cup onion salt, one cup celery salt, and one cup seasoning.
Serves one middle school quarterback.
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@pickyouredge
Decathlon have them and the first time I used one there I was a proper old man baffled by the technology, fucked it all up, had to get someone over to help, actually a very depressing experience, like watching my grandparents try to order in McDonalds when I was a kid
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Watching matches at double speed is obscene. No wonder football writers like telling you which episodes in a TV series you can skip because they don't advance the plot
People often ask me advice on how to get better at understanding football. What they often want is a silver bullet answer but the real answer is graft. This week, I watched over 30 games of football (most in double speed). It's long and tedious but it has to be done.
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Workers showing their power, the pavements safe for pedestrians, and hopefully some ableism discourse, so that's a win-win-win.
Delivery drivers for food-ordering platforms including Deliveroo, Uber Eats and Just Eat are striking on Valentine's Day to call for better pay and conditions.
🔗 Read more
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"Support your local independent shops, save your high streets!"
Great will do, are you open on a Tuesday afternoon in the final shopping days before Christmas?
"Uwu smol bean we're cwosed until 11.30 - 3pm on Saturday :3"
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I do!
Remember when anyone challenging the government's handling of Covid was ridiculed, demonised and dismissed?
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A cast iron rule in life is the more a Thai restaurant looks like an estate pub, the better the food is going to be. And I'm telling you, I had the best som tum of my life tonight
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@_nathanf38
You won, Nathan. Enjoy the RTs, I hope it makes you happy. Dear lord, what a sad little life, Nathan. You ruined my tweet completely so you could have the numbers
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OK neurodivergent people now want to be micromanaged, so I guess that means they want to work in the office more too. I'll update my spreadsheet accordingly
Also, “ability to work in ambiguous situations with little oversight” okay fck neurodivergent ppl I guess. Sounds like managers who don’t have time for their employees.
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One of them dogs walking round town off the lead there. Doesn't bother me obviously, I just told it it is yesterday's discourse and it left me alondt
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Quite depressing how the media/discourse fallout from the Brand story is all about this drift to the right conspiracy elites shit, nothing really about how to stop men abusing women or how to make women safer. Not much sense of a wider reckoning in media/comedy industries.
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It's absolutely fine, perhaps even NORMAL, to think "I would prefer to sit around doing fuck all every day" but it's not an inherently progressive ideological premise imo
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This Cass review stuff, really grim on its own terms, even more so as an excuse for Labour to unleash its horrible sadistic controlling urges
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Here's my compromise: the Yanks stop sending their NFL games over here, and we promise not to send our football games over there. Everyone's happy (apart from the IT helpdesk)
I know it's not "the same thing", but I feel like the compromise for me would be to play the League Cup semis and final outside the UK?
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If you're lucky, Labour just sees you as a cell in a psephology spreadsheet. If you're part of any kind of marginalised group, Labour sees you as a bug to be poked around and squished or treated in whatever way is needed to make the numbers go in the right direction
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Wow, pro-carceral was bad enough but now they are pro-family too. Where will this fascism end?
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My dude. My guy. My brother in christ dude. Guy my dude. My dude guy brother in dude my guy christ. My christ guy my dude. Dude my dude my guy dude christ in my brother guy dude. My guy my guy my guy dude guy my dude guy my brother my guy my guy christ in dude my brother.
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With the greatest respect to my beloved London freelancer mutuals, maybe turning discussions with your mates into a piece to be read and RTd by the same mates was never sustainable long term. The rest of us don't care what you think, sorry!
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Deeply ingrained segregation mindset at the heart of it, even on the yank 'left'. Total idiots from coast to coast and round the globe. Get rid.
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Not usually a fan of economics but it is absolutely class how owners of enormous companies could say "we're doubling all our prices and pocketing the profits" and the bank of England response would be "we're going to put everyone's mortgage up as well to stop this happening"
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Brilliant bit of 'you can say anything about women as long as you put white in front of it'
@OrqueOrque
@DJLouieXIV
I don’t think it misses the point at all. I think it gets that inherent passivity of white womanhood doesn’t work on a Black woman. Changing the experience of the protagonist required a change to be remotely authentic.
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You can't get worked up about enthusiastic home supporters, sorry, even if they are a bit cringe. Someone has to save football crowds from the pint chucking, coke sniffing, ah that cunt has fucked my acca morons
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Can confirm from personal experience just now, even a muzzled XL Bully is quite scary when it starts sniffing around your bollocks at the station. I will never forgive Rishi Sunak for taking the compromise position when he could have had them all shot.
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I asked a lad in town to keep his unleashed psycho dogs away from my children and he told me to Shut my fucking mouth. Well I'll have the last laugh when the dog warden comes round and humanely destroys your pets!
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'The left' tried to do something (barely) radical and was subjected to a years long media smear campaign, and a man tried to assassinate the Labour leader 👍
Those on the left celebrating this (and civil servants supposedly refusing to deal with flights to Rwanda) should wait to see what happens when they want to do anything radical.
And everyone laughed at Liz Truss for talking about the 'blob.'
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@bluenilehatsfan
Yes, tempting to try some mental gymnastics over what her position might be but at the end of the day if she cared she could come out and say something properly herself, which she had the chance to do and clearly won't, so just got to say fuck her ultimately
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