T'Other Simon Out of Plastic Jeezus
@TOther_Simon
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I'm only in it for the funny. Middle distance punner & ukulele-botherer/singer with the multi-award-winning musical comedy idiots @PlasticJeezus.
Bournemouth
Joined March 2009
I'm plastic_jeezus on Threads and https://t.co/IsAPsKjYbQ on bluesky. Feels like this is a sinking ship. Full of turds. Which are laced with the worst herpes. And they're on fire. And they can fly.
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IF FRENCH IS BASED ON LATIN, HOW COME 'DIX' MEANS 10 AND NOT 509?
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When you're on a ride at Alton Towers and there's a sudden flash.
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If I misbehaved in primary school, my teacher would slap me on the legs with an item of stationery. Every time. That was a hard and fast rule.
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Putting the word 'Super' in front of a word makes them better. (SuperGlue, SuperMarket etc) With the exception of Natural Yoghurt, that's just plain scary.
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I've had an idea for a Christmas variety show, featuring Ant McPartland's co-host, Rupert Murdoch's ex-wife Jerry (and her family), Mario's arch-enemy and television's Ms. Willoughby. Call it 'Dec, The Halls with Bowser, Holly'. Come on.
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Hilarious to see that tonight Channel 5 had a 90 minute long programme - hosted by Jim Davidson - all about how Jim Davidson had been 'cancelled'. No sense of irony whatsoever.
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I don't really DO crowd work - because I don't really like people - but here's a rare example. Plus a top tip.
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It's a good job Bo Derek never married Tim Vine.
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Isn't that picture a Radiohead album cover?
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Last tix remaining! Would love to see you this Sunday 2pm at @southbankcentre with me chatting to @ladycariad about this...
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When Gary Barlow takes his children out with him, he takes a massive boy but he only takes a minute girl.
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Destroying furniture seems like a weird thing for the police to do.
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When Gary Barlow takes his children out with him, he takes a massive boy but he only takes a minute girl.
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Southampton fans:
We cannot become #Saints with a frown. We must have joyful hearts that remain open to hope.
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