Morning

I don’t really want to leave. I’ve been here 15 years +. But I’m gonna. I’m heading over to Bluesky. Thanks to those of you who made it good. I’ll be @ https://t.co/qmZdiqU0kz if you’re there. My photo is now age appropriate. LOL.

Any Americans reading this: Can you explain how you use the verb To Trespass? Do you just use trespassed as a noun, verb, adjective and anything else in between? I’ve seen people say I’m trespassed or you’re trespassed right now.

I’ve written several tweets this morning and not sent any of them. But the general gist is that a lot of people can fuck off and a lot of people are fucking deranged. But, there you go.

#YJB

Was gonna go to bed but Shawshank is on. Can’t not watch Shawshank. Bit inconsiderate really.

sorry but I am obsessed with the people who work in primark, I just asked a woman if she knew where the plain polo shirts were and she went “no I don’t but you can go and look” 😭😭😭

There’s not a pizza I haven’t burnt my mouth on yet.

We’ve been in the queue for Wicker Man for 2 hours and we’re still miles away from the ride. Puking. #AltonTowers

Gave them clear direction. One ran off and one thought I was taking a photo. But gotta be done. #Torchwood #Throwback #DerrDerrDerraDerra

Why is my body telling me I need 27000 calories a day? And why am I listening to it? *Eats third pain au chocolat in 20 minutes*

I miss all the human people who used to be on here.

Anyone else signed up to the Alanis Morissette mailing list 14 times in the hope it gives them a better chance of getting a presale code?

Nothing like standing on a dry train platform while it’s absolutely pissing down to make you need a wee.

https://t.co/jApRYvRJ56

In the interest of fairness I think they were £64.99 actually, but still…

I’m not a Croc wearer nor a Croc hater. But why are they £70. John Crocs must be absolutely pissing himself laughing on the daily. Drying his piss with absorbent currency. Mental.

.@McDonaldsUK Remember when you used to cook your chips and not just use a warm breeze to defrost them?

I’ve been going to reply to messages only to realise I’m forwarding them and what the fuck? Why would you do that. Thought I’d gone mental.

Just shaved off my old grey beard to try and look less like an aged minger. It didn’t work.