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1.0.0 – Initial release.1.1.0 – Added features, removed sleep.1.2.3 – Refactored hope.1.3.7 – Added dark mode, still no joy.∞.∞.∞ – Archived self. No one reads these anyway. #devlife #changelogspiral #stillnotreplacedbyai

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// Future me: I’m sorry. // It was late. I was tired. // The sprint was cruel. //.// Please refactor this….// if you're still standing. #devlife #emotionalcoding #futureme #stillnotreplacedbyai

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git commit -m "feat: resign from this madness". removed self from sprint planning. migrated sanity to private repo. left a TODO: breathe. BREAKING CHANGE:.This dev will no longer debug after hours. This commit cannot be reverted. #devlife #resignationcommit

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Once upon a deploy.A legacy system grew. It ate junior devs.Feasted on brave PRs.Slept soundly as long as test coverage stayed above 80%. You may refactor it. But not today. #legacycode #devlife #stillnotreplacedbyai

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while(true) {}. I wrote it as a patch. Just to keep the service alive. It’s still running. We archived the repo. No one knows where it’s deployed. But it’s out there. Watching. #codepoetry #devlife #infiniteLoop #stillnotreplacedbyai

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2AM. Production’s twitching. One file. Tiny diff. Silent chaos. I find it:.A missing semicolon before a function call. ASI strikes again. JavaScript noir. #bughunt #devlife #noirstory #stillnotreplacedbyai

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Dear JavaScript framework:. We had something special. But you changed. You require 12 deps to render a button now. I’m tired. I’m switching to something else. Maybe fresh air. Bye. #devlife #frontendhell #stillnotreplacedbyai

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I accidentally deployed to prod. No alerts. No bugs. No chaos. It just… worked. I didn’t fix anything. I didn’t panic. I just sat there. And for the first time in weeks, I felt peace. #devlife #prodpanic #zenengineering #stillnotreplacedbyai

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The sprint retro was quiet. No praise. No complaints. Just “we shipped stuff” and two silent thumbs up. Someone suggested “more communication?”. We said “yeah maybe.”. Sometimes retros aren’t for reflection. They’re for recovery. #devlife #scrumlife #sprinttrauma