You’re telling me this salad is chopped? Yeah uhh I think I’ll have cheese sticks instead thanks.

The cancer ads are back. To the extent that it is reasonable I know I don’t have cancer so who fuckin does and how are you not dead yet it’s been years. Maybe this shit works

Sometimes I like to imagine that my body works like they do in osmosis jones and that a board of directors decided that it was time to deploy unconnected patches of hair on my lower back to commemorate approaching 35.

computer, generate a picture of the nanpu bridge where the ramps are toilets.

I'm gonna say it since nobody else is: RFK didn't go far enough. He needs to ban sugary drinks entirely, for everybody. And alcohol. And acoustic cigarettes. I know the prohibition secrets to driving across the frozen detroit river I'll make a killing.

dont get it twisted tho I'll fuckin do it again.

its v funny when apps remind you of things but they're not good. Like yes, thank you for showing me when I was living off protein powder & bread from my ex who worked at a bakery the day after I found out nobody was getting raises bc my 'dream job' was a poorly run small business.

We gotta get this ump lasik.

Wow big surprise, brockhampton ripping more people off. Here's to hoping bro takes them to small claims so that there's more proof that nobody should do anything for them without >50% down payment

new Armed is like, really well made and mixed but it has that August Burns Red thing going on where they sound like a cover band of themselves. No new horizons, just shredding the fuck outta the beaten path.

When I die and y'all make my AI persona, make sure you get the jiggle physics right on my massive cock.

Ohhhh they came up with dubai chocolate to cover up all of the people who go there to pay to be pooped on by beautiful women?.

All of the closing sets last night were so excellent. I think Micky deserves a big shoutout too though. Bro was born when I graduated high school and he was dumpstering champions.

my fuckin lungs hurt, AQI somewhere north of 150. Hate the way it looks outside.

PR tip: Don't post shirtless pictures of yourself with your hand down your pants if you are going to say things that motivate people to use that picture against you.

Someone tell ole girl I can give her access to the weather control machine for a modest monthly subscription.

DGX Spark Paper Launch?.

This should not be allowed man come on

. why doesn't Skubal get 20ft Tigers? Oh right because our field isn't made out of TV screens. Someone call Illitch.