Sam Swank
@SlamminSamSwank
Followers
4K
Following
3K
Media
1K
Statuses
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I make a lot more stuff | @slamminsammyswank on TikTok and IG
Joined September 2017
POV: college kid who got arrested last night waking up to Scottie Scheffler entering the Louisville drunk tank
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If Fantasy Football leagues had a “PLAYOFF COMMITTEE” like college football
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The first kid to watch The Wolf of Wall Street when it comes to Disney+ on April 1st
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The CEO of women’s basketball calling Caitlin Clark to tell her she didn’t make the USA Olympic Team
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When the 1st pick in the NFL Draft doesn’t want to play for the team that drafts him
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POV: he made a bet with his girlfriend that if he didn’t get a perfect bracket she could…
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The white guy that never plays on every NCAA March Madness team
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The NFL refs getting ripped a new one after the first half of the Super Bowl
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If guys DECOMMITTED from relationships like COLLEGE 🏈 RECRUITS
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If fantasy football leagues had a “PLAYOFF COMMITTEE” like college football
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If Dads left their families like College Football Coaches
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Lois Lane’s ex-boyfriend finding out she’s dating Superman
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POV: The first Delta Airlines flight that serves SHAKE SHACK on board
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If guys had to support their families with FANTASY FOOTBALL 🏈
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If ESPN covered the Brittney Griner deal like an actual pro sports trade
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Travis Kelce coming home to Taylor Swift after 3 bad games to start the season
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When your sister brings her FRENCH BOYFRIEND to thanksgiving
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When that one random number you don’t have saved in the group chat is actually Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth texting war plans
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If guys COMMITTED to RELATIONSHIPS like high school 🏈 recruits
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The guy who was in charge of changing the name back from MAX to HBO MAX
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POV: you accidentally signed up for the 100 Gorillas vs 1 Human challenge
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The guy who killed the United Healthcare CEO ordering Starbucks right before
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Every guy reacting to Sydney Sweeney breaking up with her fiancé
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POV: Every bitter GOT fan when a House of the Dragon trailer comes on
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Barry Keoghan talking to the Saltburn director after reading the script for the 1st time
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POV: The dad meeting his 24 year old daughter’s new boyfriend Bill Belichick
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If regular people had to give a STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS
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Every guy who played intramural FLAG FOOTBALL 🏈 after hearing it’s now an Olympic sport
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If guys FaceTimed their friends LIKE GIRLS after they get engaged
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If INSIDE OUT was about a teenage boy going through puberty
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When your sister brings home her FRENCH BOYFRIEND 🇫🇷 for thanksgiving
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The McDonald’s worker who called the police on Luigi Mangione
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Every guy breaking the news to his girlfriend/wife that FOOTBALL IS BACK
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If regular citizens had to make a STATE OF THE UNION address
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If there were support groups for guys now that FOOTBALL IS OVER
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@FiveStool Lol my bad! I’m new to posting on Twitter. Learning the ropes as I go ✊ I’ll be sure to tag only 250 people next time.
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POV: The waiter serving Leonardo DiCaprio and his new 18 yr old GF
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POV: The coach of the 🇺🇸 Shooting team after they didn’t win a single medal in the Olympics
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Sports Broadcasters when the camera pans to a HOT GIRL in the crowd
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POV: Barron Trump moving into the White House on January 20th realizing TikTok is banned
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The 1st guy to have a girlfriend whose family does the Thanksgiving Turkey Trot
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When my girlfriend asked me how often do I think about the Roman Empire
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PGA Tour players getting heckled at the 1st LIV/Saudi merger tournament
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Every guy whose celebrity crush is Madelyn Cline finding out she’s dating Pete Davidson
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My brother is in charge of saying grace at Thanksgiving, he’s been practicing all day
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The 1st guy to have a girlfriend whose family does the Thanksgiving Turkey Trot
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The one undecided golf voter before the presidential debate
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The confidence of every fantasy football manager before the season starts
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The GREENLAND MILITARY responding to threats of the USA taking over their country
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The guy in Gladiator 2 who was in charge of transporting sharks into the colosseum
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The moment the Golden Globes decided they were gonna give BEST MUSICAL to Emilia Pérez over Wicked
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Every person who FINISHED LAST in their fantasy football league
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If guys FaceTimed their friends like GIRLS DO when the get engaged 💍
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When your psycho girlfriend gets selected to the HUNGER GAMES
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The postgame interview with the 🇫🇷 Pole Vaulter who got eliminated from Olympics because his 🍆 was too big
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As a Gamecock fan, this is a feeling that I have never felt. Shane Beamer is a god damn superstar and he is just starting to awaken the the GIANT that South Carolina Football can become. LETS F***ing gooooo Cocks 🤙🐔.
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CEO of Netflix storming into the control room after all the streaming issues tonight
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