Simpsons SPFL 🏴
@SimpsonsSPFL
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Scottish Football x The Simpsons 🏴
Springfield, Fife
Joined January 2017
McKinlay: "Well now, the appointment of Derek McInnes is imminent. Are there any objections from the rest of the co-owners?" [Crowd muttering.] "Probably Ann." "Yeah, Budge is gonna have some." "Ann." "Ann."
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[Barry Ferguson, stalling outside Auchenhowie.] "Put it in WATP!"
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“Barry, are you wearing brown brogues to impress the board?” Ferguson: “Do you think they noticed?”
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“Climate change? Localised entirely within Dens Park?”
🗣️ "This years rainfall is 35% higher than the last 10 years average - that shows the effects of climate change." Dundee club secretary Eric Drysdale admits 'urgent' work is needed on the Dens Park after a fifth call-off this season and the club facing SPFL action ⬇️
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"It's 'Dignity', Stuart! Gahhh! Don't you even know 'Dignity' when you see it?"
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Desmond: “Peter, I’m beginning to think that Mark Warburton, Graeme Murty, Pedro Caixinha and Jimmy Nicholl were not the brilliant tacticians I saw Brendan overcome the first time around.”
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“David, what’s the budget looking like for Livingston this season?” Martindale: “Well we’ve got to pay for hiring the stadium, processing the work permits…you know, those regular trips to Ibrox I go on - they aren’t free. Whatever’s left, I chuck at the players.”
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"Inverness-based supporters looking unlikely to make it home after the late finish." Maxwell: "What, again?! This stupid country."
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"Steve, the fans are getting worried about the alcohol wearing off. When you take the ninety-minute delay into account, and the eighty-four minutes remaining, there's a chance that all the drinking we did in The Shed beforehand will have been for nothing."
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“These Georgian antics don’t scare us, Scotland have turned up and kicked off against nobody in Tallinn! We’ll survive this.”
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Maxwell: "Do you think you can get a new shop stocked in time for a game at St Mirren Park tomorrow?" Needham: "Sure thing, Mr. Lawwell."
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Clarke: "The Georgians were happy to start with this pathetic excuse for a game, and now they want to call it off because they're losing. Well, I say - hard cheese."
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“Come on, Brendan. Win another treble for your old pal Desmond.” McGrain: “But Dermot, last month you called Brendan a treacherous sack of-…ow.”
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“Brendan, do you remember the promise you made to the fans?” “Sure do! As soon as Fulham come calling, I’m out the door.”
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“Steve, can I get you a £10 pint from Oslo’s cheapest pub?” “No, I wanna get him a £10 pint!” “Guys, guys - you can each get me a £10 pint.”
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Jug: “Ooh, you lousy Scots! Shake harder, Erling.”
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“Who’s the bearded one?” “That’s Danny McGrain, Brendan.” “McGrain, eh? Hired by Ange?” “Uh…actually, he’s coached here for decades, he played 663 times for your boyhood club, he’s in the Hall of Fame, he featured in one of your most sociopathic lies.” “Doesn’t ring a bell.”
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"You really think it's a good idea to give that lying freak his job back?" Desmond: "Ah, he seems to know the players' names."
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