Simone Giertz
@SimoneGiertz
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Statuses
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I build things and make videos about it. Business inquiries: lukegirgis @belikechildren .com
Los Angeles, CA
Joined October 2012
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I built a chair for needy pets that always want to sit next to you.
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I built my dog a selfie booth so she can take photos of herself by pushing a pedal with her paw
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Simone is out of surgery and her doctors are very pleased with how everything went. She woke up long enough to make an inappropriate joke... so things are looking good.
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can somebody please confirm that this is actually happening and that I'm not just making this up
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Three years ago I made a toothbrush helmet and posted a video about it on YouTube. I could never have imagined this adventure and it’s all thanks to you. Also, just got the lab results and the tumor was noncancerous! So big fricking cheers to us and to many years ahead 🧠✨
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Getting a lot of comments about my right eye being swollen. It’s caused by my brain tumor. This is what it looks like in the morning.
I’m really self-conscious about it, and making videos while healing is harder than I’d like to admit. So please be kind. I’m trying my best.
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Sorry for the silence. I’m okay. Just not as okay as I’d like to be yet.
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Today is world brain tumor day. For two years, every single day was brain tumor day for me, and I am so grateful that now, it's just one day of the year.
During that time, I got so much help from other people sharing their brain tumor experiences. So, AMA!
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I sent my brain tumor to Antarctica and this is now my favorite photo of all time.
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In New Zealand. My luggage was delayed with my brain medicine in it. I went to the closest hospital, got to see a doctor within 10 minutes who gave me a new prescription, all for free. Just had to show my ID and explain my situation. I wish healthcare was like this everywhere.
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I’m going in to surgery in a week. This is your eviction notice, Brian the Brain Tumor. Please remove your property from my skull, eyeball and jaw muscle. I’m also keeping your security deposit.
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The White House is running like a fine-tuned machine
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I’m not sure I’ve ever been this excited about life.
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I kept looking over my shoulder for some adult to tell me that I wasn’t allowed to buy this. But then I realized: I’m an adult. And it’s money that I’ve earned myself, building shitty robots. This is my dream car. Almost. Stay tuned.
#TeslaModel3
#DontTellCheeseLouise
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It’s pretty crazy that Instagrammers are held to higher standards than politicians when it comes to disclosing who they’re sponsored by
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Things I never thought I’d get excited about:
• that I get to half (!) my steroid dosage today
• being able to sleep on the right side if my head again
• non-slip socks
• sharing this list with anyone ever
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Just Truckla and Cybertruck casually passing each other
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Radiation day 5. My friends have made a driving schedule so I don’t have to go to the hospital alone.
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Happy 2M subscribers! I would high five each and everyone of you, but I ran the numbers and even if I only spent one second per high five it would take me over 23 days (!) to get to all of you. So this will have to do for now: 🖐
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Radiation day 3. My mouth tastes like burnt hair. The nurses say that it’s normal and that some patients see blue during the treatment.
ME: yeah, but that’s because the beam is blue
NURSES: no, the beam doesn’t have any color. That’s the radiation triggering your synapses
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I just finished my last radiation treatment!!! So much to celebrate.
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Nobody:
Me: wouldn’t it be funny if you pranked someone by filling a piñata with real intestines instead of candy
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instead of screen time I wish I could track ”distance scrolled” just to see if there are days where I scroll further than I walk
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Trump rage tweeting right now feels like watching a movie villain drowning in a pool of lava
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brain checks are like the highest currency of rain checks
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I currently look like Smeagol right as he transisitons to Gollum
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I built a machine that plays songs by popping bubble wrap.
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Trying my best to make recovering from brain surgery sound interesting but it’s not. It’s like trying to cook a meal out of a pile of sawdust. But my head shape is almost back to normal so there’s that
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let me click that tweet to see what other people are saying about it
unrelated meme
unrelated meme
ad
unrelated meme
verified rightwing troll
ad
unrelated meme
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Randall Munroe from xkcd came by the workshop and I don’t think anybody has quite been able to catch my essence like this before.
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Got myself a Switch for my birthday. If you never hear from me again this might be why.
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It’s my birthday! I’m 28, life is great and I got a Cheese Louise cake.
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I just got hit by a firework, do I automatically qualify for US citizenship now
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have an album cover; now accepting proposals for our band name.
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I’ve gotten my fair share of “you’re too hot to build robots.” It’s based on this notion that as a woman, the highest thing you can achieve is living off of your appearance. And that it’s wrong to want to build a career on your brain rather than your looks.
Hi everyone I know some men think this is cool to say to a woman but it isn't, it's actually an insult. "Beauty" is subjective, and by saying this you imply that astrophysics and beauty cannot go together. This is wrong and perpetuates stereotypes. Please don't do this.
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got a news notification that the US is lifting the travel ban from the EU and 16 minutes later my mom had booked a flight to come to LA. I haven't seen her in two years and she's going to arrive on my birthday (!!!) and I cannot believe I WILL GET TO HUG HER
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After two weeks of glamor and press engagements, Truckla is back to living a peaceful pickup truck life in Northern California.
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once I met a guy on an airplane and he and his husband invited me over for dinner and I showed up on the wrong day and it still haunts me
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This guy Sauron called and gave me an offer I couldn’t refuse. Sorry I’m an orc now.
#wetaworkshop
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Watching a movie sex scene next to your parents should be a new mindfulness practice, because nothing makes me more aware of how I’m breathing
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In the category of Dreams I Never Thought Would Come True: I got to be the voice of a character on Adventure Time!!
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Me: I should put together some puzzles, that seems relaxing and fun
Also me: is there any data on what different sorting strategies have proven to be most efficient, and what are the most prestigious competitive puzzle championships in the world
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This was my actual reaction when the Cybertruck rolled out on stage.
Just posted a new video with more Cybertruck and 💕Truckla💕updates:
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Have spent weeks trying to draw a logo for my product business. These are definitely not it.
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I built a uterus pressure chamber to see how strong a period cramp is.
Full video here:
@kotex_brand
#kotexpartner
#ad
#SheCan
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Starting off 2019 with 6 weeks of radiation.
If this doesn’t turn me into a super villain I don’t know what will
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I know there's a lot going on right now, but I just found out that a thing I made is being sold on
@MuseumModernArt
and no matter how many screenshots I take I still can't really believe it.
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Just posted a new video! It’s all about brain surgery and tumors and all the magical medical fun that ensued.
Should probably have titled it “BEFORE & AFTER GETTING $200K SURGERY || MEDICAL HAUL” instead.
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This was my facial expression for the entire
@Tesla
event yesterday. I’ve slept on it now, but my facial expression is still the same. I think I might have gotten chronic shocked
#Cybertruck
face.
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Thanks everybody who helped take me to the hospital. 29 treatments and I didn't go alone a single time. Thanks Scott, Ray, Marcos, Rose, Jax, Yvette, Norm, Kari, Ryan, Herbie, Kishore, Juliana, Julia, Miriam and Leo 😭💖
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Just told a barista “thanks for helping me poop!” as he handed me my coffee. Adding it to my list of things not to say.
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my dog is just a tiny version of falkor. tiny but mighty.
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Radiation treatment 2 of 29. There’s a 50% chance my pituitary gland might die. I want to cheer it up but I have no idea how to cheer up a pituitary gland. Long walks? Feeding birds in a park? Dropping acid?
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instead of a peloton I want a treadmill where I have to run to scroll on tiktok
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hey you are doing great. yes, even if you’re not using your quarantine time on some amazing creative or productive project. just getting through is good enough.
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steps left out: a bunch of kind people supporting and cheering you on on the internet
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If it truly was about stopping abortions, the focus would be on preventing unwanted pregnancies, AKA better contraceptives. But the US approach is always to punish people in desperate situations, rather than preventing them from getting into that situation in the first place
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Only three more radiation sessions and then I’m D O N E. Can’t wait for this ordeal to be over. Until then, here’s another photo of my brain tumor in Antarctica, contemplating his wrongdoings
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I made myself a shirt out of googly eyes because it makes it easier to stare people down. Not sure why
@voguemagazine
still hasn’t called.
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I asked
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to make a fridge backpack. He misread my message and thought I asked him to make a fidget backpack.
I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING ABOUT THIS MIXUP IT IS SO MUCH BETTER
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Meet my new foster dog!! Her name is Melba but I call her Melbot. She was in an accident and had to have most of her upper jaw removed. It kind of makes her look like a furry little orc that snores really loudly.
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Happy Brian Eviction Day!
I also realize that this tweet, without any context, just makes me sound like a very spiteful landlord. I’m ok with that.
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Things you probably never have to learn for yourself: steroids really make autocorrect so much more infuriating
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“I just had an eggplant explode in my oven” really sounds like a euphemism but no
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I think this might be the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me
We should be glad Simone Giertz is such an awesome person because if she ever decided to become a supervillain none of us would stand even the smallest chance
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When Adam Savage asks you if you’re down for a post-apocalyptic demolition derby the only correct answer is “ok so what kind of face paint are we going for”
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