Expert Contractor
@SillyClient
Followers
54
Following
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Media
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Statuses
75
Yeah, sure I'm incompetent - that's where you come in!
Always 30 minutes late.
Joined August 2014
I can't pay you but I can give you 10,000 units of magic startup money that you'll sell for millions of dollars in a few years!
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Top of my resume: "Experienced Ninjutsu warrior with focus on espionage and horsemanship. Also, good at programming". No responses yet.
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Sony Manager: "Although they ended each scrum call with maniacal laughter, the North Korean design firm at least attended them on time."
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I'll keep searching until I find someone foolish enough to say yes. And then, we'll fail together. It will be marvelous.
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"Since anything below blocker never gets looked at, we are putting super blocker, 'hellraiser pending approval' and hellraiser above it."
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I charge for travel time to make you stop scheduling meetings across town at 8am. Save $300 by using a telephone instead.
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Don't tell me you're looking for rockstar developers unless your benefits package includes cocaine and hookers.
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you lucky people get to see the start of my latest article: http://t.co/yvPoHpbLDP
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I'm going to put the specs in a google doc so I can change them 7 more times after "sending" it to you. Sound good?
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"I need an ambitious thing done in 5 weeks but I won't write 1 sentence approving your quote until you email me 6 times and call me 3."
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The problem with you is that caring enough to get any work done for you will be a deep personal struggle.
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"You want me to trust you?" Oh my! That's just what Hitler wanted! *Gasp* You monster!
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I'll send you my invoice in the mail just to prove that I Know Where You Live!
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I'm sorry, but no amount of money will make wasting my time acceptable.
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"As a policy, I'll only use the word "sincerely" at the end of an email when I'm actually not."
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http://t.co/EXJXvbzno2 Identical package pricing differs depending on input. What a brilliant way to make money on stupid! Noice!
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How about, I'll waste my time on lousy projects, you waste your money on unachievable goals, then in 2 years we'll part ways.
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Everybody stop work! Let this insurance salesman pitch our plan for the next two hours. The Time Sinkhole commences!
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