Shannon the Shenanigator
@ShannyGasm
Followers
30,858
Following
12,944
Media
9,148
Statuses
147,117
Professional mad scientist. Amateur goofball. Liberal. I'm not a novelty, I'm a lottery win. I'm an action movie, not a statue. My spirit animal is Tigger.
Alaska, USA
Joined August 2018
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
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Last Seen Profiles
Pinned Tweet
Here's an extensive list of scientific discoveries that were later disproven by religion:
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I'm a third party voter but I'm not voting third party because I'm not stupid. I'm voting for Biden.
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My dad just died. 2 months after my mom. I'm gutted.
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I can't keep track of who owns trump these days. It's the Russians one day, the Saudis the next day. Do they have a timeshare? Is there a schedule?
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Betty White predates sliced bread. She was born in 1922, but sliced bread didn't make an appearance at the store until 1928. So that makes her the greatest thing *before* sliced bread.
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I'm wondering if trump will be tried as an adult. 🤔
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Random science fact: baby blue whales are born at 5,000-6,000 pounds, making them the world's biggest babies, right next to trump supporters.
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I just found out my brother-in-law passed away during a freak accident, so I'm making an emergency trip home to Alaska on Friday. Life is short. Hug your loved ones.
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Unpopular opinion: I haven't watched Tiger King and have no plans to.
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Dear God, help us all. First the coronavirus, and now this. 😱
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My mom just died and I just don't feel like writing any random science facts as usual. Fuck it all.
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I just learned that Alex Jones is a year younger than me, and man, hate ages you hard!
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I want a stack of these stickers to put on every trump sticker I see.
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Sure sex is great, but have you ever tried impeachment?
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I'm taking a break from the twitterverse for the next week and a half. I just can't deal with a death in the family and the pandemic. I'll still be checking DMs if you want to reach out and touch me, but my level of personal panic is letting me know I need a break.
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Random science fact: if you donate blood in Sweden, you get a text message whenever your gift of life is used to help save a life. I think that's a beautiful thing and wish we did the same here.
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Sure sex is great, but have you ever voted trump out of office?
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So I'm starting a new job in a month and moving to Anchorage, AK, and it's a big step up in my field, too. I'm kind of a lot excited about this. This mad science stuff is awesome!
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Today's my daughter's 27th birthday. I asked her what she's doing today, and she told me she's donating blood, and I think I raised her right. 🥰🥰
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I bought a 12-pack of Charmin at Walgreens, so I'm basically a millionaire now.
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Did trump hire his legal team off of Craigslist? 🤔
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I was just informed at work that I'm eligible for the first round of vaccines when they become available next month. You can bet your last dollar I'm getting it.
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I know it's Independence Day, but I really don't feel like celebrating today. Not when we've become the diseased cesspool laughing stock of the world.
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My mom is dying from an aggressive brain cancer, I hardly slept last night, and I have zero fucks to give today. Better luck tomorrow.
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How does "wash your damn hands" translate into "buy all the toilet paper"? This one has me scratching my head.
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I read an opinion yesterday on a Biden/Romney ticket. I don't agree with it, but what do you guys think?
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Tomorrow's my 47th birthday, but all I want is peace on earth and a cure for COVID-19. Is that really to much to ask for?
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Name a speaker for the RNC lineup. I'll go first. Joseph Goebbels.
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I'm at an airport this morning, and so far I'm the only traveler I've seen wearing a mask, and that baffles me. Cheers to all the people who think they're bulletproof.
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I don't publicly share, but I'm not okay. I struggle with depression and hypomania. I've been diagnosed with cyclothymia, and it's not easy. Every day is a struggle just to feel normal. I take pills just to feel okay.
Today I feel okay.
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Soooo I'm leaving Florida and moving to Alaska. It's official! Going from one extreme to another. I do like extremes. 😁
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You guys, my daughter's getting married!! I'm so excited. 🤩🤩 They're thinking next year on Halloween, which I think is just about perfect. 😁
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Sure, sex is great. But have you ever tried impeachment on a Friday the 13th with a full moon?
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I just blocked a guy out of pure principle who's profile says he hates leggings. Who can hate leggings??!!
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There are 34 cases of COVID-19 linked to the Whitehouse now, and trump is a superspreader as well as a stochastic terrorist.
#StopTrumpsTerror
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Random science fact: having sex a minimum of once a week lowers a man's risk of stroke by 50%, diabetes by 40%, and heart disease by 30%. In addition, men with an active sex life are more likely to live beyond 80 years. So get to it, guys! It might just save your life.
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Show me your best everyday working selfies! The more mundane, the better! Here's me in the lab. And yes, that's a pocket protector you see, because I'm a nerd.
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I was today years old when I learned blue bees exist. They're really stunning, too!
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It would really be a shame if more people just retweeted the hell out of this picture. A damn shame.
The McCloskey’s say this picture has ruined their lives. 🤷♀️
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I dyed my own hair yesterday. It turned out quite fine, if I do say so myself! Who needs a professional?
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Random science fact: female squid don't have vaginas. The men don't have penises long enough to be useful, anyway. They lob a sperm capsule at the female instead. If it sticks, the female releases a hormone that dissolves her skin and lets the sperm in. Who says romance is dead?
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Anyone sick to death of living in a country piloted by an insane person who's supported by cowards and enablers?
Me too.
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So I'm flying home tomorrow after spending the past 10 days in Alaska for a death in the family. I fully expected my flights to be mostly empty when I checked in this morning, but they're packed. Why are so many people flying to Orlando during a pandemic?!?!
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What would you vote for over trump?
I'd vote for a used tampon over trump. I'd vote for rancid milk over trump. I'd vote for a black-plague-infested rat over trump. I'd vote for a rabid bat over trump. I'd vote for... you get the picture.
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I was at The Motorcycle Shop in Anchorage, AK, when someone recognized me from my Twitter account. It's a small world! 😂 first time I've been recognized from Twitter and it tickled me.
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Kamala Harris as VP pic makes me very happy. Anyone else?
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Did you know that the Canadian actor James Doohan who played the original Scotty on Star Trek stormed the beach at Normandy? He was wounded by friendly fire that day and lost the middle finger on his right hand. They rarely showed his right hand on screen.
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A Bernie Bro attacked me for saying I'd vote for a used tampon over trump; maybe I phrased it wrong: I'd vote for a used tampon *or* Bernie over trump. I could go either way. 🤷♀️
(this in-fighting has gotten old already)
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I open the door naked. That pretty much scares them off. 🤷♀️
What's a polite way to respond to Christian Missionaries when they come to your door & won't leave? I let him talk briefly, but then explained that I'm Jewish & he kept talking about how I should convert so I said "no thanks" & shut the door. Is there a better way to handle that?
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He came to my home town to campaign against Lisa Murkowski because he's a vindictive asshole, and all the slugs came out from under their rocks.
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I'm so worried. I know that's not rational, but I can't help it. I was awake all night last night, tossing and turning, worried. I'm flat-out scared.
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I'm at the auto shop getting my tire alignment fixed, and there's a Guns & Ammo magazine right next to Birds & Blooms, and Jerry Springer is on the TV, and this might be the most Florida moment I've had since moving here a year ago.
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I'm doing my part to stop the spread by 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦 for Thanksgiving. I'll be by myself. There will be no feast, but no COVID-19 spreading around, either. Stay home, people!!
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So I just got the 2nd dose of the COVID-19 vaccine...
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So I taught my first college class today, and it felt like organized chaos, and I got this. 😎
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There is no Twitter in Iran... it was blocked in 2009. 🤦♀️
President Trump’s message in Farsi supporting Iranian protesters is the most liked Persian tweet in history of Twitter.
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Alright, I need this mug, and if you can read it than you're a total geek like me. 😂😂😂😂
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I have the best followers.
And yes, I'm talking about you.
Y'all pay attention!
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He's gone and lost it for good now. 🤦♀️🤦♀️
The President claims people in the dark shadows who control the streets are really controlling Biden. He goes on to talk about a plane full of people wearing black uniforms but then says he can’t reveal anymore because it’s under investigation
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Which kills more brain cells: listening to trump speak or watching Tiger King?
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What hidden talents do you have? I can fold a fitted sheet.
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I feel this photograph captures Florida perfectly. 🤦♀️🤦♀️
This is the Governor of Florida. He is wearing one glove. And touching his face with the hand that has no glove. This is not photoshopped.
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I'm off to go see my dad, siblings, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles and cousins to say goodbye to my mom.
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Dogs are pretty smart. According to the American Psychological Association, they're about as intelligent as a 2-year-old, with a vocabulary of more than 150 words, and can actually use deception when they want a treat.
Dogs are awesome.
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Do you know what the dot above the i and the j is called?
It's a tittle.
I just learned that and thought I'd share!
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I have trees older than 18 months. Are they in danger of exploding now? 🧐
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As a single woman who supports herself and lives alone, how soon until I become a 3rd class citizen in this new regime? Do I need to find my own man to make my decisions for me or will one be appointed to me? I don't know the rules.
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Pence at the Mayo Clinic not wearing a mask is offensive. He's endangering everyone around him plus himself with his arrogant stupidity.
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A serious question I was just asked: "Where's Maryland at? Is it part of the U.S?"
This was by a U.S. citizen...
👀
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Anyone surprised by the outcome of the impeachment? I'm disappointed, again, but not one bit surprised.
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Random science fact: there are tiny bugs that live in the pores on your face that crawl around your face at night to mate.
Have a nice day!
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Unpopular opinion as a healthcare professional: I want a goddamn free-for-all knock-down drag-out fight for everyone getting healthcare. Our system is so broken! Everyone deserves the right to healthcare.
The end.
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Hey from the Grand Canyon! I'm just hanging out on the rim enjoying the view.
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Anyone think we should send all the anti-vaxxers to China right now to prove us wrong? 🤔
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Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.
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Honour guard at my dad's burial. We all bawled when they played taps.
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I just flew from Florida to Alaska, and I was stunned by the number of travelers not wearing masks or taking any precautions. At least 50% of the people. Such willful ignorance!
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Hey, all! A good Twitter friend of mine was just suspended today for suggesting Bill Barr be tried for treason. Oops? Could you give
@devourtherich
a follow? He's a wicked smart attorney who is actively protesting all things trumpian, and starting over from next to nothing.
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Random science fact: space smells. Not bad, mind you. Astronauts smell it lingering on their equipment once they're back inside the space station. It clings to their suit and tools. They describe the scent as seared steak, welding fumes, and hot metal. I wonder what causes it.
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