William Keaton
@Script_Samurai
Followers
459
Following
177
Media
3,179
Statuses
10,812
Writer. Professional kitchen sink thrower. Repped by AAO Entertainment.
Joined December 2011
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Drake
• 2101858 Tweets
Kendrick
• 1804834 Tweets
LISA TEAM REDBULL
• 517781 Tweets
Lando
• 483538 Tweets
#GranHermano
• 304800 Tweets
GW最終日
• 232984 Tweets
Furia
• 223612 Tweets
Stars
• 144213 Tweets
Mauro
• 114621 Tweets
The Heart Part 6
• 107213 Tweets
Drizzy
• 103952 Tweets
Kabir Is God
• 100874 Tweets
連休最終日
• 76609 Tweets
Panamá
• 74059 Tweets
Santiago
• 70788 Tweets
Mulino
• 63124 Tweets
#LaCasaDeLosFamososCol
• 48694 Tweets
FEDERICO
• 48104 Tweets
ゴールデンウィーク最終日
• 46039 Tweets
REJECT
• 45036 Tweets
Juliana
• 41703 Tweets
Tom Brady
• 35494 Tweets
Millie Bobby Brown
• 30516 Tweets
Whitney
• 29977 Tweets
Manzana
• 27327 Tweets
Del Moro
• 21161 Tweets
Larson
• 16525 Tweets
ゴムの日
• 13824 Tweets
Mother I Sober
• 12940 Tweets
Belichick
• 11262 Tweets
Rial
• 10090 Tweets
@scrnwriterchic
The day after my father died, I went to the store and bought some groceries through the self checkout. I was so out of it that I paid and left my groceries. A kid, not an employee, chased me down in the parking lot to give them to me. This story kind of struck a chord with me.
4
2
591
This is exactly how I shop for lumber at Home Depot also
168
39
444
@basedspinach
I remember when cokes came in glass bottles, and they’ve never tasted the same since they switched to plastic
6
1
312
My father used to have an office on top of the Elvis Presley museum in Orlando. Muhammad Ali would sometimes come by, have the museum closed and everyone kicked out, and just stay in their alone for hours. This was the robe he gave Ali.
7
37
256
@daverandla
@jackdnoonan
I had no issue reading that. Great story. I feel bad for short attention spans (it wasn’t even that long, but folks can’t even read a full headline anymore) because they missed out
1
1
203
Dennis Quaid is old enough to not to give a shit what Twitter thinks about Dennis Quaid.
6
24
168
@classicallyabby
I honestly don't understand the obsession over what other people do, especially when it comes to sex. It's completely meaningless.
3
1
163
I like how Perry just walks right through this altercation and buys his sardines like it’s nothing. Perry so sexy, made that lady forget her age for a minute
4
4
155
Last thing you see before you wake up naked in a motel bathtub full of ice with no wallet, no phone and one kidney.
23
13
156
@katie_robertson
Can’t wait for Taylor’s article about how the whole institution is unsafe, and the subsequent corrections and stealth editing.
1
1
139
@DailyLoud
I have no idea why no one has put TO on TV. The dude is pure charisma and personality.
1
0
142
Happy Halloween! Here’s a message from Roddy Piper on how to safely Trick or Treat without being molested
1
39
132
@SweatieAngle
@DiabolicalSpuds
Thank god he had a fork in his car, which everyone should have in case of this kind of emergency
1
0
122
@rb327
@nhannahjones
@TeensTakeCharge
@MaudMaron
She's a grifter who wrote a fake history essay that's been lambasted by actual historians, and her livelihood depends on stoking racism. Her arguments are not based in fact but to cultivate a persona that she can sell.
0
5
94
Her lawyers
A stripper demonstrates that her underwear was too large to have exposed herself, after police officers arrested her for breaking the anti-nudity laws after being accused of revealing their vagina to undercover cops in Florida, 1983.
706
5K
73K
10
9
100
Holy shit
#EllenDeGeneres
has brought out some sad fucking nutjobs (my favorite might be she's a prop by the CIA). Some of you need to get off social media for your own mental health.
4
10
85
@justinjm1
Yeah, man, that conservative hotbed known as San Fran. Makes Birmingham look like Austin.
4
1
86
@Prince3eb
Seems people are missing the point that a ten year old had to travel out of state to terminate her pregnancy. Or else, she would have been forced to carry it to the term. That’s the point.
8
4
88
Saw this today and I swear I thought it was Perry. I see the dude everywhere now
I’m not an e-girl reply guy I’m a Pericles ‘Perry’ Abbasi reply guy
2
1
28
9
3
81
@bizlet7
Yes, all those elderly people surrounding who are minding their own business look absolutely terrifying. I don’t know how they made it out alive, tbh.
0
0
66
@ThumblessGrasp
@SopanDeb
@TPCarney
Every kid has a poster of Tillman Fertitta on their wall. I'm gonna pick up a pair of Air Fertitta's on the way home.
1
0
67
@SweatieAngle
I’m made an innocent sarcastic remark once and I was mercilessly attacked for three days with the cruelest remarks I’ve ever very seen and I thought, this must be what Al goes through every day.
2
0
68
If I’m ever taken to court this is exactly how I’m answering, per my attorneys
@damintoell
and
@ElectionLegal
1
16
66
Perry’s war against seed oils has hit a whole other level
2
4
54
@doyoumissunity
Something tells me they knew what they were getting into with him before that point. This was not a surprise
1
0
56
This is the origin story of every RW Twitter personality and podcast host
2
8
56
@markolson63
@aaronc0027
@AnnLucas1
@AG_Conservative
@mcopelov
Then they would not be equal. That's why we have a Congress and Texas has more electorates than Montana.
2
0
51
@jimdaleywrites
@Chicago_Reader
Perry is a champion for marginalized people. Especially the transgender. Especially transgender women. More specifically, pre op trans girls. And who have Only Fans accounts. The man is basically Gandhi, MLK and Jesus all rolled together
2
2
47
Twitter has given too many mediocre and mentally unwell people the belief they’re a celebrity
4
8
55
Perry looked like the Greek Colonel Sanders
3
1
47
I had a baby raccoon run up to me one night just like this because it got separated from its mother.
3
2
47
Why can’t they just settle for being pretty.
A soldier’s face after four years of war, 1941-1945
106
232
5K
5
2
48
Matt Walsh before meeting Perry vs after. This is not a coincidence
4
4
46
@jimdaleywrites
@Chicago_Reader
I once was ready to end it all when the egirl I fell in love with ended up being a trans girl. I was straight snd confused. Perry sat me town and told me the only difference between a pussy and a bussy was the letter P and he literally saved my life.
#IStandWithPericles
0
3
46
Archaeologists discovered a previously unknown God in Greece. Perrynysus
4
6
43
Bret Hart was the fucking man.
Despite having only two (excellent) televised singles matches, Bret Hart vs. Hakushi was one of the most memorable, cutting-edge in-ring feuds of the New Generation Era. (1995) 💜☠️
114
779
5K
0
1
43
2
1
44
With all due respect to Jennifer Lawrence, this is one of the best female action films. Blew my mind as a kid. Might be the first foreign film I ever saw.
4
2
43
Took a seminar called “How to pick up women by
@jarvis_best
” and it consists of going up to every attractive woman you see and saying “Sup.”
5
1
40
@damintoell
I think you’re mistaken, Damin. This is the greatest letter ever written by a lawyer ever. Historic stuff even. THE BEST
1
1
41
@SweatieAngle
A master manipulator would definitely never lie or try to get himself off death row by exploiting conservative ideologues
0
0
43
George Michael, the second greatest Greek to cruise mens public bathrooms for sex.
@ElectionLegal
1
4
39
@Amb8819
@Alicia_Smith19
@ElectProject
They slap someone like a drunken sixty year old TV actress holding her poodle?
0
1
34
Perry’s fingernails and Damin’s toenails need their own buddy cop tv show
12
6
38
@ecto_fun
1975
Shivers
1977
Rabid
1979
The Brood
1981
Scanners
1983
Videodrome
1986
The Fly
1988
Dead Ringers
1991
Naked Lunch
1993
M. Butterfly
1996
Crash
2005
A History of Violence
2007
Eastern Promises
2011
A Dangerous Method
1
0
39
0
0
39
I sure hope Perry doesn’t sneak up behind me while I’m dealing with this tragedy and will have no idea if something happens
@ElectionLegal
0
1
33
@JonahDispatch
I honestly don’t know what the issue is. Just don’t pay the eight dollars… or do. What does it matter?
3
0
34
School cafeteria pizza is better than any chain pizza and it’s not even close
4
3
33
@robinsonishyde
@territhrush
Los Angeles really shouldn’t exist either. The manipulation of the environment to make it what it is was terrible. A big reason for the droughts and fires
2
0
36
@damintoell
@AngelaBelcamino
Angela knows how to treat a beta male. “Hold my purse and film me do my idgaf strut. And God help you if you screw it up”
2
0
38
When Shawn Michaels doesn’t want to do the job. “Let’s go, I got a job to do.”
Shawn Michaels deserved an Oscar after this performance against Hulk Hogan 😂
263
1K
9K
2
3
36
@misstessowen
@VICENews
Serious question: is the media there specifically hoping for some kind of violent incident, or hoping for Billy Bob to say something stupid? Because there's a shitload of important news going on that I'd love to be investigated. This shit isn't it.
3
3
31