people my age are PREGNANT and i am scared of WALMART

😭😭😭

can i come over and do this

the sink is CLOSED

https://t.co/lYmYPJQPzC

me at the aquarium trying to make personal connections with the fish

https://t.co/KTCS8zs4GF

https://t.co/YhCyQGX1DV

https://t.co/UBC3SFOL7U

puts cocaine in my lipgloss so when he kisses me he thinks im god

him:”are u stupid?” me:

LMFAOO

you ever fucked with a song so hard that you restart the song before it's even over???

Having kids is crazy

https://t.co/DgSKHSU4ZW

2020 was not real

imagine you go to get your oil changed and they just SHIT UP AND CHANGE TJE OIL

buckling up my idiot son

I visited a gun shop in Indiana once and had to use the bathroom; inside was a portrait of a naked man with a thick wooden board covering where his private part would be. Curiosity got the best of me and I tried to lift the board. It let off an air horn throughout the whole store