I can lick my own balls.

For several unknown reasons. Farting into a mason jar is far superior.

How I hope to be found dead

Recently found out water flossers are meant for teeth. Who would’ve thought?. I’ve been using it to irritate my anus.

I’m autistic. my sensory thing is the penis.

I’m masturbating.

I usually have a penis in there.

I fart every time I’m sad. I’m sad all the time.

Ever since finding out that the anus absorbs vitamin D at a higher rate. I’ve made a point to tan my gooch. It’s starting to look toasty. I’m ready for summer. #SunDressSeason.

I’ve recently learnt that fleshlights aren’t meant to enter your anus. Supposedly you must stick your dick in . Who would’ve thought?. Huh 💭.

But I love your dad even more.

Got a drink in hand, my legs in the air.

I placed it in.

I’ve just gone out for a lovely meal

ALL MY SOCKS END UP CRUNCHY. IM FORCED TO GO INTO WORK BAREFOOT. THIS IS OKAY.

TRYING TO BLEACH MY ASS HOLE. STORE BOUGHT BLEACH. HAS GIVEN ME. HAEMORRHOIDS.

It’s always good to see my online orders being delivered efficiently

Is there a better technique for capturing farts in a jar?. The old ones tend to get lost when I open the jar.

It’s really difficult waking up smeared in semen. I have to make it to London Pride on time.

It’s quite difficult working with an erection all day.