deathcore__doggy
@SAMOYEDWAVE
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it's never too many graves, it's always not enough shovels ♡ @owomuwu ♡ @SAMOYEDCORE on twitter (not X
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$50 a day on weed
People will pay $8 for a coffee every morning to have their name on it, $10 a month for a streaming service to watch repeats of an old show, $50 a day on weed, but won’t pay for verification of their own identity on Twitter without acting like it’s costing them their life.
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Holy fucking shit dude. What the fuck. Im quite high right now and this just sent my heart rate into the triple digits immediately like i just spotted something i am genetically programmed to recognize as a dangerous predator
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full-on 16-yr-olds straight up smoking pot
seeing full-on 16-yr-olds straight up smoking pot makes me want to cry WHAT ARE YOU DOING MAN
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ever wonder why every culture in the world, despite not having full contact with each other, seems to consistently have myths of a little guy who goes around and causes problems
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one of the more fun adhd things is when youre looking for a lost item and a specific memory enters your mind not of its location, but rather that you stashed that object somewhere stupid and lazy and that you were very faintly, yet distinctly, conscious of your folly at the time
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they shot a guy in japan
outside of 9/11, what's a major historical event you lived through that you’ll never forget where you were when it happened?
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the most damaging thing to younger people's tech literacy has been chromebooks. regular school computers give kids invaluable space to fuck around and find new ways of fucking up a piece of shit computer that they have no attachment to. The fuck are they gonna do to a chromebook
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a fun little fact about japan's oft-cited monoethnicity is that their census doesn't track ethnicity. it does ask whether you are japanese by nationality though. you may be surprised to find what answer was submitted by most people who responded to the japanese national census
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what has this country come to that youre not even allowed anymore to chase somebody around with a shovel non-violently
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regardless of whether he actually abides by it at all or not, a "yes" vote is an incredibly important duty from each and every one of you because it will be funny in the case of every outcome
Should I step down as head of Twitter? I will abide by the results of this poll.
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i've spent 5 minutes trying to figure out what is going on in this lady's head, normally being very good at that, and i'm coming up with nothing. what are the thought processes here..
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congrats to the two people in the united states who got vaccinated today. you're making a difference
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"generally struggles to read/understand others" as a primary typifier for what is considered "autism" has done terrible damage in terms of convincing the great deal of people who are very socially adept/good at reading others *because of autism* that they probably aren't autistic
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the only thing funnier than the fact that my grandma (a recognized & somewhat well-known doctor back in vietnam) thinks video games turned me gay is the fact that she doesn’t even think it’s a bad thing. couldn’t care less otherwise. it’s just objective fact that gaming caused it
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(british person realizing theyve been pickpocketed) Oi whose yoinked me wally
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had myself a good quick chuckle imagining someone who hasn’t heard the victorian child joke yet seeing this
a single one of these would kill a victorian child
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girls taking adderall for the first time: This is unbelievable… I can finally sort my life out…I know how to arrange tasks… Things are interesting again…Life has color
boys taking adderall for the first time: iam going to become a dedicated apologist for the Taiping Rebellion
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tchaikovsky, resurrected by dark magic: let me get this straight. Do people consider my Dance of the Swans , a "Bop"?
me: they do
tchaikovsky: most excellent. And do they say that it ,"Slaps"?
me: they do
tchaikovsky: splendid. And have we solved the Jewish Question
me: what
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the phrase "don't siege leningrad, take it immediately" popped into my head out of nowhere and i had to start frantically digging through my archives to find this absolute gem again
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sid meier's civilization: Can YOU build a civilization that will stand the test of time?
me [lying in bed, under a blanket covered in bread crumbs, surrounded by empty water bottles, not having showered in four days]: oh yeah you betcha im up to the task. i was born to do that
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i was mulling over what to post today and i figured: sure, why not, why shouldn't i go ahead and repost the time i got in a fight with the fuckin crossword
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RULES for DATING my DAUGHTER
1. Military personnel shall be reduced from 6,000,000 men to 100,000
2. You are to pay 132 billion gold marks as reparations
3. Territories such as Elsaß-Lothringen & Pomerelia will be ceded
4. You must accept responsibility for starting the Great War
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i've seen this exact image get posted with this exact caption as low effort bait literally 8-10 times on here and every time it succeeds to the tune of dozens or hundreds of smug replies because its success relies solely on americans not recognizing the most famous sea on earth
Scientists predict that the unless we reverse the effects of climate change in the next 30 years, this will be the map of our future.
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Queen has 'entered a new phase' and we 'may not see her until February', say experts
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me after i am forced to take a piece of gum from this ordinary pack of gum
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did ryan lochte sell his twitter account to a crypto site lol
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[throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] Dude stay still jesus christ[throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses]
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white people love to reply with that fucking gif of jennifer lawrence spitting her drink
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it's so funny that this stupid throwaway description i wrote describing the kubrick stare 3 years ago is now enshrined in canon online as a way to describe the kubrick stare for some reason. why does it get so much mileage
"the kubrick stare" is one of director stanley kubrick's most recognizable directorial techniques. a method of shot composition where a character stares at the camera with a forward tilt, to convey to the audience that they are at the peak of their derangement
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just tried coke for the first time. why do people spend money on this. like real life money
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If you come to the UK illegally:
➡️ You can’t claim asylum
➡️ You can’t benefit from our modern slavery protections
➡️ You can’t make spurious human rights claims
➡️ You can’t stay
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hey "nice" manbun haha it fuckin sucks you hipster asshole [he turns around and reveals he is a samurai from the tokugawa shogunate] oh fuck
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white people love to be named "diot coke"
In 1379, more than 600 years ago, a baby girl in Yorkshire was christened Diot Coke.
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if your autistic friend recommends a restaurant and says "i love the food there" do NOT listen. by "the food" they mean the singular dish of food they get from that place. if you are not prepared to get that exact same thing then youre flying into entirely uncharted territory
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why is it every time a movie/show has the camera shown "through the eyes of" an autistic character it always looks warped and distorted in the same way as when you use a drug in a game
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white people love to be named "carpe donktum"
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white people love to say "who goes there" when they hear a noise
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low quality fake obviously but i'm really vibing with this guy who's just sitting there, doesn't even have a laptop, he's just there to dissociate
This is a San Francisco coffee shop at 11am in the morning.
Packed wall to wall with ambitious founders working on startups.
There is no other city in the world like it
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this is even better than the time he told me he cycles through every major search engine alphabetically whenever he looks anything up
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i'm assembling a team
In the 1970s, many men supported the sexual revolution because they thought they would benefit from many easy women. That was true, but only for the top 20%.
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mister gorbachev has hit these back walls for the last and final time.
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She just died? Wow. I didn't know that. You're telling me now for the first time. She led an amazing life. What else can you say. She was an amazing woman, whether you agree or not. She was an amazing woman who led an amazing life. Actually sad to hear that. I am sad to hear that
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Oh good another one
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me: white people love to say "phooey" when something bad happens
guy with a college in his bio: Do you have a source for this claim.
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reading some literature from the conservative side of the political spectrum so i can understand their arguments better. some are admittedly reasonable
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doctor: do you have any pain
french duck: god i wish
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my favorite little detail of this video is how quickly they have to remove the dog because he doesn't sense anything to be concerned about. like those videos of people faking a collapse while walking their dog to see what would happen and the dog would just ignore it
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99 luft balloons is too many fucking luft balloons. im deeply furious
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white people love to say "well it's gotta be around here somewhere" when they're helping you find something
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the very act alone of producing any very specific numbers for something so difficult to quantify as vocal crowd sentiment betrays that he has spent every single waking moment since that show doing intense cope-calculus. hes miserable
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what's most upsetting about this is that they could have just as easily picked boston or baltimore. both cities are on america's only high-speed rail line. both even begin with "b". what more could you cretins fucking want
The English-language ‘TRAIN TO BUSAN’ remake is reportedly titled ‘LAST TRAIN TO NEW YORK’.
(Source: Deadline)
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you say "socialism is when no car" ironically. i say "socialism is when no car" unironically. we are not the same
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@BierIncognito
METHODOLOGY:
1. Arrived in Tokyo
2. Saw a lotta people with slanty eyes
3. Hypothesis supported
4. Departed from Tokyo
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mandatorily i already just said this in another thread but: the tech literacy of late gen z/younger is not *that* meaningfully or relatively worse than their older peers. however they HAVE been deprived of the formative experience of extensively torturing windows 7 out of boredom
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a fun fact about me is that i had a 2.5 gpa for all of high school and then at the start of senior year when i was 17 i started doing drugs and my gpa instantly went up to 4.0 for the rest of the year
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FOX Sports owes the 9/11 community an apology.
@ceggersmidwest
@FOXSports
Hard to believe.
@FOXSports
owes the 9/11 community an apology. On air. For those who do not recognize this aerial image, it is Ground Zero of the 9/11 attacks. The logos are where the WTC Twin Towers used to be, now the sacred pools of the
@Sept11Memorial
.
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every fuckin day this man has been back i have not known peace
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not what i expected to see from polls but i hope he has a good time i guess
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flashbacks to playing Papers Please and having to memorize a whole new self-contradicting set of rules, daily, every time you clock in
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this man would've been such a successful industrial mogul if he had been born 200 years earlier
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Don't try to distract me by appealing to my paraphilias.
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there's several other countries highlighted here (and in general when "homogeneity" comes up) that are far more absurd, by a country mile, than the particularly famous example of japan but that should give you a good idea of how mind-numbingly stupid this conversation is anywhere
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oh, today is wednesday? very interesting! we all know what that means: it's time to post Long Korea
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[completely and totally obliterates my serotonergic system from orbit for no fucking reason] Jus havin a laff x
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turn those replies back on if you want me to "try you" a second time, if that's what you want
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for the record this is one of the 3 tweets they got me for
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one enjoyable thing that has developed in the past 3 years is that you nearly never see anyone saying “gen z is proving itself to be the most conservative generation since the 70s!” anymore. they have lost all hope in that regard
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between the ratio and the community notes addition on this, i'm proud that twitter is now determined to finish what mao started
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i wish people would try this angle on me way more often. why they dont they
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if shinzo abe went to the zoo then he would be shinzoo abe. unfortunately, it seems that he instead chose to go to the inferno
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imagine being the goat watching abraham about to kill his son and then some fucking angel descends out of nowhere and tells him to kill you instead. i would be like. Dude
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i love the fact that ukraine in particular is highlighted as a monoethnic state because there are a wide variety of ways you could interpret that general claim and few of those ways, we may have found recently, have very pleasant consequences
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imagine having half a million dollars in guilt-free money literally sent to you from god via bathroom and you turn it in anyway. americans are obsessed with suffering
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Cho Chang
David is constantly astonished by how bad the Harry Potter worldbuilding is so please drop your favorite nugget of completely nonsensical potter lore here because I’ve forgotten as much as I’ve remembered
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teens 2020: let'z fuckk ;)
teens 1920: Let's go on a romantic date! :-)
teens 1020: Hark,! For i hath beën struckt, With thyn Festering ShitPlague; i liv'd well for meineselfe, For i Fucke't thrice; Twicetime with ain Female, and Oncetime with ain Squirrel.
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