Ryan Mura
@RyanMura
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Senior Associate @MuraLawGroup
Buffalo, NY
Joined June 2009
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“stefon diggs is going to be an off-field problem for the bills”
stefon diggs:
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if josh allen wins buffalo a super bowl, bills fans are going to raise enough money to cure cancer
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patrick mahomes, priest holmes, mobile homes, it don’t matter... bills by 100
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can’t stop thinking about how there will be a home bills game on sunday without fans. it just doesn’t feel right. the home opener is one of the greatest days of the year. feels like christmas was canceled, you know?
- sir, this is a tim hortons drive-thru.
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if someone told me six years ago that the sabres would end up trading jack eichel to the golden knights, i would have said who the fuck are the golden knights
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the vikings finding out josh allen is starting after preparing for case keenum all week
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jack eichel ripping sabres fans when he failed to lead his team to a single meaningful hockey game in seven years is one of the greatest self-owns
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the bills are undefeated
the clippers released a braves jersey
the sabres are going back to royal blue
buffalo:
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cam newton, fig newton, sir isaac newton, it don’t matter. bills winning the AFC east
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show the candidates a clip of josh allen’s pass to tyler kroft and ask if it’s an interception
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josh allen making a mistake is like your dog peeing on the rug. it’s hard to stay mad at him for long
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white girls in Buffalo when the Post Malone / 21 Savage concert was announced
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reopen the canadian border only to people from buffalo. we’re practically dual citizens
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the sabres are coming back soon which is good because the bills have made me a little too cocky as a buffalo sports fan and i need to be humbled
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ford released the bronco in 1965
bills won an AFL title in 1965
bills went to super bowls in 1990-1993
OJ bronco chase was in 1994
ford discontinued the bronco in 1997
bills missed playoffs from 1999-2017
ford is bringing back the bronco, thus
bills are winning the super bowl
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me and fellow vaccinated bills fans absolutely blasting each other with particles this fall
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source: buffalo, new york
Living in a cold, dark climate more likely to lead to heavy drinking
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tony romo: the steelers have the bills backed up on the 2 yard line
josh allen:
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people in buffalo today when their car dashboard says 100 degrees
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buffalo: welcome to the city of good neighbors!
visitor: great, can I have my wings with ranch?
buffalo:
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me: god, the bills loss yesterday was awful. can you just give me a sign so I know you're there?
god:
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buffalo bills: happy 716 day!
people from buffalo: 😊
buffalo sabres: happy 716 day!
people from buffalo:
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the bills lost, the holidays are over and it’s the first 5-day workweek since before thanksgiving
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when the sabres got jack eichel, i was convinced they would win a stanley cup. when the bills drafted josh allen, i thought it was the biggest mistake in franchise history. the point is that i’m an idiot and don’t know anything
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construction in buffalo takes 18 months yet spirit halloween stores just magically appear two days into september
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josh allen, dion dawkins and stefon diggs on their way to one bills drive
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uber driver: so where are you from?
me: buffalo.
uber driver: oh. doesn’t it snow there in July?
me:
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whether you’re a democrat or republican, you have to agree with this
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pittsburgh:
doesn’t have wegmans
known for a sandwich with fries (big deal)
coach tripped a player on the sidelines
city name starts with “pitts” (the worst)
buffalo:
has wegmans
known for wings (delicious)
coach supports the troops
city name starts with “buff” (strong)
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the super bowl is on 02/02/20
2 + 2 + 20 = 24
24 - 7 = 17
josh allen wears 17
the bills are going to the super bowl
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thanksgiving dinner in buffalo when the bills game is about to start
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*bills beat lamar jackson*
fans: let’s donate!
*bills beat patrick mahomes*
fans: let’s donate!
*bills beat tom brady*
fans: ok this is where i draw the line
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lamar jackson, michael jackson, janet jackson, it don’t matter... bills by 50
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My ideal off-season for the Patriots:
• Brady retires
• Belichick retires
• Gronk retires
• Everyone else quits
• The team is disbanded
• Gillette Stadium is demolished
• They are never heard from again
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“would you eat chicken wings with ranch?”
person from buffalo:
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thanksgiving dinner in buffalo if the bills lose to the cowboys
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fans attending sabres games can choose to have their vaccine shot during intermission. for an additional cost you can also be euthanized
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the bills won on thanksgiving
got flexed to sunday night football
and the patriots lost last night
people in buffalo today:
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god, I hope it's not tom brady
Scientists believe that the first person to live to be 150 years old has already been born.
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deshaun watson, bubba watson, emma watson, it don’t matter. bills by 50.
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imagine being at the stadium when it’s 72 degrees in november, josh allen throws for nearly 300 yards and the bills are up two scores... at half. i think they would run out of labatt blue
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josh allen at age 24:
• 8 fourth quarter comebacks
• 2 playoff appearances
• 3x AFC player of the week
jesus christ at age 24:
• 0 fourth quarter comebacks
• 0 playoff appearances
• 0x AFC player of the week
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the bills, dolphins and jets after patriots owner bob kraft is charged with soliciting a prostitute
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do you think the bills super bowl parade will end at city hall or canalside? just thinking ahead
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rename everything in buffalo after the bills:
josh allen street
dawson-knox art gallery
micah hyde park
diggs dive
ed oliver street
aj kleinhans music hall
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the sabres haven’t been the same since milan lucic hit ryan miller and nobody responded
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top-5 winter activities in WNY:
5. visiting niagara falls
4. skiing at holiday valley
3. skating at canalside
2. attending a sabres game
1. kicking those ice chunks off the bottom of your car
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i’m still getting used to the idea of players choosing to stay in buffalo for “another run at the super bowl”
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