My office sent an email saying we can wear
#GoBills
gear to work on Friday. For good luck, I'm also planning to slam a coworker through the conference room table. Head on a swivel, Janice.
can’t stop thinking about how there will be a home bills game on sunday without fans. it just doesn’t feel right. the home opener is one of the greatest days of the year. feels like christmas was canceled, you know?
- sir, this is a tim hortons drive-thru.
if someone told me six years ago that the sabres would end up trading jack eichel to the golden knights, i would have said who the fuck are the golden knights
ford released the bronco in 1965
bills won an AFL title in 1965
bills went to super bowls in 1990-1993
OJ bronco chase was in 1994
ford discontinued the bronco in 1997
bills missed playoffs from 1999-2017
ford is bringing back the bronco, thus
bills are winning the super bowl
when the sabres got jack eichel, i was convinced they would win a stanley cup. when the bills drafted josh allen, i thought it was the biggest mistake in franchise history. the point is that i’m an idiot and don’t know anything
pittsburgh:
doesn’t have wegmans
known for a sandwich with fries (big deal)
coach tripped a player on the sidelines
city name starts with “pitts” (the worst)
buffalo:
has wegmans
known for wings (delicious)
coach supports the troops
city name starts with “buff” (strong)
*bills beat lamar jackson*
fans: let’s donate!
*bills beat patrick mahomes*
fans: let’s donate!
*bills beat tom brady*
fans: ok this is where i draw the line
My ideal off-season for the Patriots:
• Brady retires
• Belichick retires
• Gronk retires
• Everyone else quits
• The team is disbanded
• Gillette Stadium is demolished
• They are never heard from again
imagine being at the stadium when it’s 72 degrees in november, josh allen throws for nearly 300 yards and the bills are up two scores... at half. i think they would run out of labatt blue
josh allen at age 24:
• 8 fourth quarter comebacks
• 2 playoff appearances
• 3x AFC player of the week
jesus christ at age 24:
• 0 fourth quarter comebacks
• 0 playoff appearances
• 0x AFC player of the week
rename everything in buffalo after the bills:
josh allen street
dawson-knox art gallery
micah hyde park
diggs dive
ed oliver street
aj kleinhans music hall
top-5 winter activities in WNY:
5. visiting niagara falls
4. skiing at holiday valley
3. skating at canalside
2. attending a sabres game
1. kicking those ice chunks off the bottom of your car