JOKER 2 was not quite what I expected:

“The rules were you guys weren’t going to fact-check!”

Who did it better?

I did not expect, when I first saw Jeff Bridges in THE LAST PICTURE SHOW, that one day he would age into Gabby Hayes.

It’s Billy Gilbert’s birthday and here is my article for Criterion about this very “Funny Man “ https://t.co/46baQXDzTR

“Your mission, should you decide to accept it, to find and rescue an actress currently bearing the name ‘Cheryl Hines’, although she might be hiding under the pseudonym ‘Mrs.Larry David’. This message will self-destruct in five seconds.”

The CHALLENGERS remake J.D. Vance wants to see:

Which twin is the Jedi? #TheAcolyte

It was a dark and Stormy night.

Why is this man laughing?

THERE’S A WORM IN MY BRAIN!

“Doesn’t anyone care that Kristi killed my mom?”

“Be vewy vewy quiet. I’m hunting puppies! Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh”

If Kristi Noem had been around in the sixties, Timmy would still be in that well.

The K was meant to be an exclamation mark.

No school today, kids! It’s Hayley Mills’ birthday K

It’s Charlie Chaplin’s birthday and here are the three essays I wrote for Criterion celebrating him: https://t.co/TVEhRnwXwy https://t.co/ykaDXMMXPw https://t.co/2vv2b3jKdM

My place is so messy that during the earthquake, some things fell back on the shelf.

Just found out that the earthquake originated in New Jersey. I would say “I blame Chris Christie” but then I remembered I don’t do “fat” jokes.

Mike Chisholm kindly invited me back for a return visit to The Letterman Podcast. You can watch it here: