Rory Petzer
@RoryPetzer
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CARNIVAL CITY ON 28 JUNE! Link for tickets below. Savanna Comics Choice Comedy Award Winner. ❤️ Email: rory @rorypetzer .co.Za
Durban
Joined June 2009
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Travis
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#EvladınaSahipÇıkTürkiye
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#SVAllStarsGala1
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When you go into the bank and then they make you sit at a desk and phone the bank.
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Dear MacBook, I will keep clicking ‘Remind me tomorrow’ until one of us dies. Thanks.
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Chaos at OR Tambo International Airport as tourists flock to South Africa following R1 Billion SA Tourism deal with Tottenham Hotspur. Guest houses and hotels warned to prepare for barrage.
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Imagine paying over R1000 a month for DStv and Eskom only allows you to watch for two hours a week. 😭😭😭😭😭
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CHAMPIONS! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Come closer! Bafana Bafana did the things! Oh, and I’m getting a new jersey today so please calm down about this old one. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
#AFCON2023
#BafanaBafana
#Morocco
#TotalEnergiesAFCON2023
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Whenever I get extra money I’m gonna give it to Williams to save for me.
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Dear Woolworths,
It is not necessary for you to decide on our behalf how many people eight croissants should serve.
We do not appreciate your tone.
Hugs,
All of us.
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CHAMPIONS! BAFANA BAFANA! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Is it real? Did Ronwen Williams really do that? Like, for real? 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️
#AFCON2024
#AFCON2023
#TotalEnergiesAFCON2023
#BafanaBafana
#StrongerTogether
#Nigeria
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I think you're actually supposed to go alone.
Is there a valid reason that we don’t have an election date yet?
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Not wanting to outdo Woolworths, but I’ve been completely cashless since the 2nd of January.
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See what I’d did for you all? It’s a pleasure.
Quick grocery rant: It doesn’t make sense that 6 x 1 litre long life milk is R89,99 at Spar and R111,99 at Woolworths.
Why is it R22 more expensive at Woolworths? That’s almost R4 more per litre.
Is it milkier milk?
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Important message for all Springbok fans who also watch English football.
#ENGvRSA
#RWC2023
#Springboks
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Quick grocery rant: It doesn’t make sense that 6 x 1 litre long life milk is R89,99 at Spar and R111,99 at Woolworths.
Why is it R22 more expensive at Woolworths? That’s almost R4 more per litre.
Is it milkier milk?
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Down R63-billion, yes.
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A VICTORIOUS MESSAGE FOR ALL SPRINGBOK FANS! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
#RWCFinal
#Springboks
#NZLvRSA
#StrongerTogether
#LiveLifewithVitality
#RWC23
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Chaos on roads as Capetonians make their way to Joburg after reports of white powdery stuff falling from sky.
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CHAMPIONS! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ FEEL IT! FEEL IT! BAFANA BAFANA! 3rd place! It feels fantastic to be a South African right now! Thank you! 🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦
#BafanaKaofela
#BafanaBafana
#AFCON2023
#StrongerTogether
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CHAMPIONS! FEEL IT! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Tyla won a Grammy and it’s beautiful to be a South African right now! 😭😭😭😭😭
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At first I was angry that France was hosting a second RWC and we’ve only had one back in 1995. Like why not South Africa again? And then I remembered:
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Bafana Bafana needs every single one of us for Morocco game. ❤️
#AFCON2023
#BafanaBafana
#TotalEnergiesAFCON2023
#Morocco
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Tom Cruise is on his way to South Africa to shoot ‘Mission Impossible 8’. The whole movie is just him trying to charge his phone.
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CHAMPIONS! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ This one is for the Jollofinas! Bafana Bafana needs you tonight! Please. Respect the flag. 😭😭😭😭😭
#BafanaBafana
#AFCON2023
#Nigeria
#TotalEnergiesAFCON2023
#StrongerTogether
#MatchDay
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Kellogg’s should do a thing where you pay like R1000 or something per month and you get as much All Bran Flakes as you like. Uncapped Fibre.
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CHAMPIONS! It was not to be. Heartbroken. I don’t know about you, but I’m still SUPER CHUFFED with Bafana Bafana for exceeding ALL expectations. We march to next match with heads held high. Really proud to be a South African. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦
#AFCON2023
#BafanaBafana
#NGARSA
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People who WhatsApp "Hello hw r u?" and then wait for you to respond are weakening the rand and putting unnecessary strain on Eskom's grid.
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CHAMPIONS! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Bafana Bafana will return home with medals! 🇿🇦🇿🇦🥳♥️😍🥰🇿🇦🥳🔥🔥🇿🇦🥳🇿🇦🇿🇦🥳❤️🥳🔥🔥🇿🇦🥳🇿🇦🥳🔥🥹 ❤️🇿🇦🥳🇿🇦♥️😍🥹🇿🇦🥳🤣🤣 And I never want to see another penalty shootout EVER AGAIN! 🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦 ❤️❤️❤️❤️
#BafanaBafana
#AFCON2023
#StrongerTogether
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CHAMPIONS! RONWEN WILLIAMS! FEEL IT! FEEL IT! Bafana Bafana! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️😭❤️❤️😭😭😭❤️❤️😭😭❤️😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️
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Stop worrying about UK’s red list. It’s more than R20 for one pound. Stay home and pay your Edgars account.
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CHAMPIONS! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Banyana Banyana needs us tonight! Please! 🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦
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I honestly can’t imagine where we’d be as a country without Gift of the Givers.
#KZNFloods
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CHAMPIONS! Do you know what? I fucking love South Africans and I fucking love being South African. Look at so many of us who have never even properly watched UFC up at 04h40 to support a South African. Sitting here almost in tears waiting for it to start. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
#Dricus
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Racists struggle to control themselves around water. It’s always the beach or a swimming pool.
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MY BEAUTIFUL BROTHERS AND SISTERS WE DID IT! THANK YOU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! SPRINGBOKS ARE THE WORLD CHAMPIONS! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
#RWCFinal
#Springboks
#WorldChampions
#NZLvRSA
#StrongerTogether
#SSRugby
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CHAMPIONS! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Bafana Bafana are everything! We march on with heads held high! 🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦
#AFCON2023
#BafanaBafana
#NGARSA
#BafanaKaofela
#StrongerTogether
#TotalEnergiesAFCON2023
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You see this beautiful face? Clean and sober for FIVE YEARS today. Look! Just LOOK! ❤️
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When I saw B.1.1.529 trending I thought Elon Musk had another child.
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To be fair, the main reason why South Africans like Elon Musk and Trevor Noah only become wealthy when they leave the country is because they no longer have to pay car guards.
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Interesting to see England fighting so hard for a bronze medal when just a few years ago they refused to even wear the silver.
#ARGvENG
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CHAMPIONS! Thank you for all the love and messages! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ And now we are here to MC the official
@ComradesRace
Prize Giving for top 10 men and women. And look! I’m still standing after running 100-billion hills yesterday! Am I still wearing my medal? Of course I am! 🤣🇿🇦❤️
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The only country in the world that will accept us now is Cape Town.
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#FamilyMeeting
tonight has nothing to do with the pandemic. Cyril’s gonna tell us he found the 10 babies.
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And for all losses incurred while Microsoft is down, we should bill Gates.
Have a nice afternoon. ❤️
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Imagine how stupid you’d feel if you emigrated to Australia or Canada or New Zealand all those years ago and now you hear that South Africa has no loadshedding tomorrow.
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Simple rules for Bafana Bafana fans this weekend! We need every single one of you. Please. ❤️
#AFCON2023
#BafanaBafana
#TotalEnergiesAFCON2023
#CapeVerde
#BafanaBaFriday
#StrongerTogether
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To be honest, with Microsoft down all day the Outlook is not good. ❤️
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Things you cannot get in South Africa right now:
1. Alcohol.
2. COVID-19 vaccines.
#AlcoholBan
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After Elon Musk’s little purchase, the two most important apps in the world are now owned by South Africans: Twitter and EskomSePush.
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Bavuma must spend the next 5 days practicing the toss. We cannot lose the toss against Australia. 😭😭😭😭😭
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Literally the whole of South Africa right now having jumped out of bed at 04h40 for the Dricus fight. 😭😭😭😭😭
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Elon Musk is now richer than Finland. And he’s not even Finnished.
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CHAMPIONS! This dude here in this very unnecessarily extra photo? He is officially SIX YEARS clean and sober today. No idea where I would’ve been today if I didn’t sort my life out, but it definitely wouldn’t have been standing here.
Have a nice afternoon. ❤️
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Naledi Pandor actually dispatched troops to Ukraine and Russia on Tuesday, but they’re still at King Shaka Airport. Their flight has been delayed and all their bags are already missing.
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The famous blue couch has been found metres away from where it was looted. Turns out it didn't travel sofa.
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CHAMPIONS! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Look at these two champions! Just LOOK! 🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦
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CHAMPIONS! 😭😭😭😭😭 FEEL IT. IT IS REAL. “The biggest upset of the tournament!” Bafana Bafana through to quarterfinals! Thank you. Have a rest tomorrow and then we need to reconvene on Thursday for Saturday’s match. Please. Thank you.❤️❤️❤️❤️
#AFCON2023
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I’m selling this biryani freezer container. DM for price. No chancers or time wasters.
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I feel like Rassie Erasmus would’ve opened the bowling with spinners today. Would’ve had five spinners on rotation. Even Rabada would be bowling spin.
#SAvAUS
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Go to where the white people are queueing to vote and sell almond milk cappuccinos and lattes. You won't need to work ever again in your life. ❤️
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Winner of the longest drunk text ever sent: Jacques Pauw.
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CHAMPIONS! It’s a massive weekend! Not just for Bafana Bafana! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
#WeAreVoting
#AFCON2023
#TotalEnergiesAFCON2023
#BafanaBafana
#CapeVerde
#StrongerTogether
#SAelections24
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CHAMPIONS! Big question and important message for all South Africans ahead of Bafana Bafana quarterfinal! ❤️
#AFCON2023
#BafanaBafana
#TotalEnergiesAFCON2023
#CapeVerde
#BafanaBaFriday
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Can't wait for SONA tomorrow night to hear all about the country that exists in Cyril's head.
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SOUTH AFRICAN SPORTS FANS HAVE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH AND NEED PRAYERS AND COLLECTIVE THERAPY. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Chicken Licken is actually just a front. Their real business is the trafficking of elastic bands.
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MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS WE DID IT AGAIN. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Stand by for new set of rules for next week.
#ENGvRSA
#RWC2023
#SSRugby
#Springboks
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Fellow runners, please help me tell everyone how serious this is. 😭😭😭😭😭
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Bru, how’s Quinton de Kock and Rassie van der Dussen doing?”
“Hundreds bru.”
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Cyril’s address has been moved to 20h30. Some people are struggling to set up their new TVs and have asked for more time.
#ShutdownSA
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Woke up to an MC request on email addressing me as ‘Champion’ and signing off as ‘We hope to Siya soon.
Regards, Champion.’
This has made my week!
GOOD MORNING CHAMPIONS! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Important update for Bafana Bafana match tonight: The drinking rules!
#AFCON2023
#TotalEnergiesAFCON2023
#BafanaBafana
#Morocco
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Things New Zealand doesn't have today:
1. Any new coronavirus cases.
2. The Rugby World Cup.
Hugs.
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When you’re not given a chance of even getting past the group stages, and you come third, yes, it’s definitely reason to celebrate. It’s a medal. Medals are celebrated. Hugs. ❤️
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During level 5 lockdown you couldn't open your shower door without a soldier asking what you were doing. This place is LITERALLY burning down and not a soldier in sight. This is not right, guys. This is not fucking right.
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I’m not buying a Year Planner for 2022 until I see the trailer.
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Does FIFA know we’re ready to host a World Cup in Eastern Cape?
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