So what? So let’s dance! 🤯

“My uncle, he was a lazy guy. Oh, was he lazy. He was so lazy, he married a girl who was pregnant.”.

“No respect. The other night, I had a fight with the dog. My wife said the dog was right, and she told me this right in front of the dog. Now the dog has no respect. My wife throws the ball. He waits for me to bring it back.”.

“The time I got lost on the beach, a cop helped me look for my parents. I said to him, ‘Do you think we’ll find them?’ He said, ‘I don’t know, kid. There’re so many places they could hide.’”

“You gotta watch yourself with girls. Met a girl last week, told me she was Scorpio. Found out she spent four years under Leo.”.

“Sex, it’s a funny thing. You talk to some people, they say they enjoy sex at 65. I say if someone needs it that bad, they should pull off the road.”

“Back around 1995, people started saying to me, ‘Adam Sandler keeps talking about you in all his interviews.’ He would speak very favorably of me. I’d never met Adam, so I was touched. I finally got to know Adam when he asked me to be in his movie Little Nicky. I had a very small

“Oh, what a neighborhood. There’s a couple that lives next door to me. I was talking to the wife. I feel so sorry for her. She told me, her husband, he has to go in the hospital for an operation. She told me he may lose his trigger finger.”.

“To all you graduates, as you go out into the world, my advice to you is… don’t go! It’s rough out there. Move back with your parents. Let them worry about it.”

“I feel sorry for short people. When it rains, they’re the last ones to know about it.”.

“In my neighborhood, there’s no trees. And you know me, I love trees. I tell ya, on my block, there’s only one tree. and two guys live in it.”.

“I tell ya, I don’t get no respect. Once on my kid’s birthday, I took him to Coney Island. I said ‘Kid, it’s your day. Here’s $20, do whatever you want.’ The kid took a cab home.”

“The other day, a guy stopped me in the street. I could see he was down and out. He asked me to give him some money for a bottle of booze. I looked at him, I says, ‘I know your type. I’ll give you money for a bottle of booze, you’ll go out and buy food with it.’”.

“I tell ya, I’m alright now but last week I was in rough shape, ya know. My wife, she put me on a grapefruit diet. Seven days, I had 10 grapefruits a day. Ended up I lost 4 pounds, got a citrus rash.”

“I tell ya, with my wife I never got no respect, no respect at all. We were going steady, she told me, ‘Don’t talk about sex until we get married.’ We got married, she told me, “Now you can talk about it all you want.’”.

Remembering Rodney’s longtime friend Bob Saget on his birthday (May 17, 1956 – January 9, 2022).

“I tell ya, the places I worked years ago, they’re really something. I worked one place that’s so far up in the woods, my act was reviewed in Field & Stream.”. On May 24ᵗʰ, Rodney Dangerfield will be recognized on a historic marker in the Catskills. Rodney performed stand-up in

“I’m so lonely. The other day in traffic, a guy gave me the finger, and I enjoyed it.”.

“I’m not a kid, I’m getting old. You kidding? I saw my picture in a funeral home with a sign, ‘Coming soon.’”.

“You know you’re getting old when your insurance company sends you a half a calendar.” #TheArtofNoRespect (Artwork by @JaimeRamirezArt)