"Sunak: I will stop those who got here by cheating" (DT this morning). Well . . . er . . . Rishi, old chap . . . how shall I phrase this? . . . is this the supreme self-sacrifice? I mean, don't let me stop you, but are you sure you mean it?

The president of FIFA has been haranguing the West about hypocrisy. Wise man: it's always best to confine your lectures to your own area of expertise.

We must forgive Dante for making Hell so comfortable for the damned, for how was he to know that one day someone would add a laugh track to MASH?

I wonder what Jan Morris would make of the angry entitled demands of the trans camp. Or Wally Stott. You know - genuine cases of gender dysphoria.

Now let's just sit back and watch. After all, a tweet will never change the world.

A moment or two of silence please to honour the memory of the letter "t", now gone forever from Desert Island Discs.

Oh, Screaming Lord Sutch, why did you leave us?

I keep reading tweets which conclude authoritatively, after an outline of the current political situation, that "we deserve better". A gentle read through Twitter leads me to wonder whether we really do.

I have returned, like a dog to its vomit, to find that little has changed.

I seem to be spending half my life staring at my phone. This is a frabjous waste, so I'm leaving. Goodbye. It's been very

For five minutes I watched the BBC livestream of the lying in state. Very moving. Despite what some with an axe to grind have said, I saw people of all races pass and pay their respects.

The death of our Queen, the reaction of the public and the sequence of formal, traditional events are an ideal opportunity for a self-regarding élite to express their intellectual superiority, their haughty cynicism and their disdain for their fellow citizens. Repulsive snobbery.

In the year 2020/21, one man was fatally shot by police. He was a white man in his fifties. In the same year, 19 people died in or following police custody. Two of them were black. MIND said that deaths of black people at the hands of the police are "disproportionate".

We must now brace ourselves for an "announcement" from the "London Mint Office" offering a specially minted florin bearing a tastefully-executed picture of a flag-draped coffin. It will be legal tender on Rockall.

Memo to all broadcasters: please do not utter or otherwise publish in any form the word "enormity" until you have looked it up in the dictionary and found out that it is not synonymous with "magnitude".

Can we stop all this "King Charles III" stuff? Just say "The King" or "HM The King". That's what we always used to do. The BBC seem to think I need to be reminded of the name and number of the lady who was my Queen since I was six, and they think of my King in the same way. Why?

When I was young, the liturgy of the C of E was solemn, mystical and inspiring. It now consists of drab committee English, drearily intoned. HM will undoubtedly soar to heaven, but not on the leaden wings of this dodo.

Very well done, Sir! Just right.

A fascinating development in the use of the English language is the negativing effect of the possessive adjective. Thus, "truth"=truth, while "my/our/your/his/her/their truth=lies.

Those advising the family of Archie Battersbee seem determined to prolong and intensify the grief and suffering of their clients. Very Christian of them.