Reuters Pitchbot (Satire)
@ReutersPitchbot
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International world news for the capitalist class. Satirical. Parody account. Not Reuters. Brought to you by @CBCPitchbot
Joined September 2021
Stocks open lower today as markets react to news of JD Vance killing the Pope.
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BREAKING: 400 countries in active trade negotiations with the US, trade advisor says.
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Stocks up higher after President Trump encourages markets to "BE COOL".
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BREAKING: Sell-off accelerates as conservatives begin boycott of stock markets, citing anti-Trump bias.
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BREAKING: US-backed President of South Korea Yoon Suk-yeol found guilty in martial law declaration, permanently removed from office.
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Opinion | Not everyone you disagree with is a Nazi
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Gal Gadot becomes first actress to get Hollywood star of fame for having no talent.
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Democrats vow to abandon new segment of their base every month until morale improves.
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BREAKING: Trump vows tariffs against the United States.
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BREAKING: Spain to consider joining BRICS after Trump comments.
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BREAKING: National Guard invades California, targets civilians in response to wildfires.
California National Guard is setting up and organizing along PCH in Pacific Palisades. They’ll be tasked with looking for looters and traffic control in the fire zone. #PalisadesFire
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RT @bocxtop: any anti-homeless or looting propaganda u see over the next few days is an attempt by the ppl systemically responsible for the….
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South Korea's President, Yoon Suk-yeol, has been impeached. He's asking his new defense minister if he can do one more martial law before being removed from office.
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Luigi Mangione came from a wealthy background, but despite his troublesome upbringing he made a name for himself.
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RT @_thienie: [south korea doing something americanly] what are we, a bunch of north koreans?!.
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Florida Governor Ron DeSantis offers South Korean President Yoon political asylum.
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