Really Sasquatch
@ReallySasquatch
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Following
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Surprisingly existential for a non-existent myth.
Behind Bobo
Joined March 2012
My favorite time to kill a leprechaun is right after I wave a stick and pretend it's a magic wand.
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Five humans in a campsite just barely saw me duck behind a tree on a ridge. I'm not sure if that's enough maybes to equal a probably but I officially have the heebie-jeebies.
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Hi @CliffBarackman, you have been chosen by X as the best Bigfoot Finder that was on Finding Bigfoot. It was a narrow victory over @squatcher . Enjoy this great accomplishment of being least good at failing to find me!
The best Bigfoot finder on #FindingBigfoot was:
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2 hrs left in this poll. Dead heat between Cliff and Bobo as the best Bigfoot Finder on Finding Bigfoot.
The best Bigfoot finder on #FindingBigfoot was:
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Ranae as a Squatcher: Strengths: scientific rigor, putting the screws to innocent, law-abiding, God-fearing people about their lies Weaknesses: Sasquatch calling, Bigfoot Derangement Syndrome, anti-Bigfoot bias, hates undiscovered hominids, hates eyewitnesses with a passion
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Bobo as a Squatcher: Strengths: Utilizes caged orangutans, rave simulations, Sasquatch re-enactments, Sasquatch calling Weaknesses: Underestimates Sasquatch rocket scientists, inability to monetize trucker hats to his own benefit
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Cliff as a Squatcher: Strengths: Knowledge of glutes, knowledge of nature trails, grooming Weaknesses: Obsession with glutes, too nice to stick it to Ranae, obsession with glutes
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Matt as a Squatcher: Strengths: Enunciation, squatchy sense, identification of maybes, diagonal domination. Weaknesses: Lack of balance without ski poles, flourescent teeth.
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I don't think dinosaurs were as smart as everyone thinks. I bet half of them were even dumber.
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I'm actually getting a little cocky that nobody can find me. The next time I scream, I will do it with gusto.
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Today, I will invent the wheel. Let's see... I will need leaves, of course... what else, what else... Oh. Yes. Flies. A million flies... Ah. And dog lips. As far as the eye can see. And electricity. I need to put electricity on it, of course. Victory.
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I will show the wolves how fast I can look at a bird. There will be much whimpering and submission after they get a load of my bird look.
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The silverback gorilla has the most sublime glutes of all primates - except for the mighty Sasquatch, of course. 🤌
I've begun having Cliff Barackman thoughts. Like, thoughts that should be in Cliff Barackman's head.
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I've begun having Cliff Barackman thoughts. Like, thoughts that should be in Cliff Barackman's head.
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I've heard a little boy down the street believes in Santa Clause. Tomorrow, I will explain to him the logistical impossibility of delivering a world of presents in one night.
I've begun having Ranae Holland thoughts. Like, thoughts that should be in Ranae Holland's head.
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Even if I generously assign 1 maybe to every single Bigfoot sighting in the continuum of infinite time <nerdy laugh, eyeglasses positional adjustment> the total number of maybes would be inarguably insufficient to total a singular probably. <snort chuckle>
I've begun having Ranae Holland thoughts. Like, thoughts that should be in Ranae Holland's head.
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I've heard a local boy has seen a Sasquatch. Tomorrow, I will interview this insane liar.
I've begun having Ranae Holland thoughts. Like, thoughts that should be in Ranae Holland's head.
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I've begun having Ranae Holland thoughts. Like, thoughts that should be in Ranae Holland's head.
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