2TIMES
@RealistJon
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I’ve never seen burpees done with so much swagger.
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God let me develop this addiction I beg of you.
i think im addicted to saving money.
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37 with no pre season just a red bull some snus and the city of Leicester on his back.
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Bruvvvvv Modern Family is gna make me scream this house down🤣🤣
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I acc get it loool.
The bus went past this man at stop then met red lights - old man now standing in front of bus refusing to move http://t.co/pzRgKw4Bot.
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‘He’s got the whole world in his hands, he’s got the whole wide world in his hands’ 🎶.
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Loool he keeps glancing at his notes.
Winter love island contestants have to work extra hard for a cheque 😂😂😂 look at this acting
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Not me mate. I’ll be in there with a kit, whistle, cones and boots. Do you think operation Mbappe is a joke?.
If my wife wants me to be in be room when she’s giving birth this is what I’m wearing
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‘You know…black people’ is fantastic looooool like u just shout you knowwwwww and everyone gets it.
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Fuck sake Ali.
Storm Ali to batter UK with 80mph winds
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He was beating around the bush a little tho Putin would’ve wrapped up the speech by 20:32.
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Someone told Drake he’d never be as big as Trey Songz and you ppl still let the opinions of others bring you down.
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McDonald’s only having breakfast until 10:30 is mad stupid. Who actually wants Big Mac at 10:33? Run me my hash brown bruv.
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Nothing on this earth will convince me that a programme on Netflix named Lucifer is worth watching.
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When Saliba starts doing step overs on the halfway line you guys will understand why.
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Went Power League with my work colleagues today. 7pm booking, 7:01 the ball was rolling. Didn’t feel right tbh.
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Being a footballer is long imagine millions have seen your team hold 8 and you can’t even bill it looool just gotta eat veggies and sleep omg.
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This guy is gonna PR and passion his way to legend status I can’t believe it.
(🟢) NEW: . “Jordan Henderson is the captain among captains in the Premier League. His standing now in the Premier League is that of one of the most influential figures among players.” [@mcgrathmike]
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One thing about spending time at my mums. I’m gonna have to get my corporate giggle on lmaooooo
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I keep tryna do the Dele Alli challenge and it’s jarring cos my ROLEX keeps banging against my head kmt 🙄.
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Been telling the mandem it’s like chicken pox get it as a yute bcos you can’t get annual leave to slide down walls cjdjdjd.
If you went through your teenage years without heartbreak I feel sorry for you. That first experience is peak.
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Lick man like this and your son will defo be on MOTD in 18 years talking bout ‘Mum had it tough raising me alone so this hat trick is dedicated to her’.
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Taking Rihanna East so she can find love in another hopeless place.
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Basically
The PM will address the nation at 8.30pm.
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LOOOOOOOOL HOW DOES ONE BURN SO MUCH BREAD? Fredo is hilarious 😂😂😂😂
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Mum beat cancer this year so I refuse to complain about how the year went!.
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If your caption is ‘my yé is different to your yé’ just make sure the photo matches the energy. Thanks, management.
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JD man. Opening the changing room doors on a roadman not knowing he was in there and seeing the shank on the floor <<<.
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Ahhhh mandem revive me I’ve just seen the dashboard snap. She’s in a merc and she even has roses someone help me man downnnnn.
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When my mum says I gallivant with my friends I’m gonna show her this.
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When she opens the door like this, face all screwed up and immediately turns & walks back inside mandem you’re about to enjoy the day.
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Bmt if I’m on my phone why will I go out my way to not reply are we 12 loool.
Am i the only person who texts back very fast with no shame, like who cares.
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When Tariq apologised for Effie seeing his gun so she took hers out too🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣what a ghetto love story.
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When you see me and Rihanna at Nandos retail park I really don’t wanna hear chit chat I’m gna show her Enfield lifestyle.
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One of the funniest nights in recent twitter history.
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Stopping a story you’re telling your mum cos it gets illegal mad quick looool nvm love.
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Oi I’ve got a mad confession :(. I used to run Maryland cookies under hot water so they got soft when I was like 8 😔.
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Having to re-record a vn you laughed in and making sure the fake laugh has the same energy is the woooorstt😂.
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When Nines said ‘got my own problems everybody wants a favour’ I felt that in my soul man.
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One guy was involved in the creation of:. All star lanes.Bounce.Flight club .Puttshack.Hijingo . Fair play man.
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Remember when you told me my girl is too top heavy then called her an improper fraction?
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Boy racer ting has always been air man, hope the mandem see this and move accordingly.
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I don’t even care what genre they play at carni, when Wray and his family are stamping on my liver I can bloody fling my shoulder to Eminem mate.
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If my child isn’t on Brampton’s twitter feed at the age of 18 it’s because he’ll be doing kick ups with Mbappe IJN.
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Dutty wine >>>
Still wine >>> sparkling wine.
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One of the neekiest games I’ve ever seen, everyone involved is done outere.
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His name must be fake looool I refuse to believe it
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You drink it people complain. You snort it people complain. Clearly can’t win on this app.
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This is how you gotta spark it now to avoid eating into that £13.70 🤣🤣🤣
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We’re actually mad spoilt in terms of transportation man. Return train ticket to Paris for 60, I’m seeing flights to Dam and Barca for 30. Why don’t my people like travelling?😞.
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Winter Wonderland szn is approaching, are you actually going to get taken this year or spend another 2 months tweeting about it continuously?.
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Who’s an artist that everybody rates but you’ll never see what everyone else sees? Mines The Weeknd ngl😂.
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Oi D Block Europe have had a fantastic year, not a dead song has been dropped, and their mixtape was some of the best music I’ve heard all year.
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Put this on my insta and everyone is saying Stardog is killing me :(
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Loool everyone else’s Ibiza looks like Croydon compared to his bmt
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I actually refuse to ever settle for less in this life of mine man.
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There was actually no need for Biggie to remix Skrapz’ one more chance like that.
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The Crepes & Cones slander is breaking my heart loool it’s sad cos it isn’t even defendable. How can you be dancing to Vybz and get caught by customers??.
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This one won’t ever make sense to me.
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This isn’t even difficult but the guy sings about his 9 way too calmly for me to even consider typing the name.
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I need 5 figure savings by the end of next year, speaking it into existence!.
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Bagel king bmt that drive over the bridge with some slow Nines in the background is basically a marriage proposal.
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@Big__OJ Loooool man lipsed miroslav’s water whilst he was benching in jeans and Slazenger’s.
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When I’m broke I’m stupid with my money but when I’m up I actually use it wisely does that even make any sense.
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