lickin on her beavis while she givin my butt head

Oh my god your dog’s coat is so shiny *yanks their tail* oh wow, a little aggressive though :(

Tip for your next job interview: cut up the inside of your mouth real bad with a razor blade so when you talk a lot of blood pours out of your mouth

I’m gonna hold your hand when I say this. I might touch your penis a little, too

Take off tha horse hat you basetard

Shooting someone is probably a really big deal at a gun range. Probably have signs and everything

wow its almost like those are my zipping sauces and arent meant to go on rocks????????? but ok go off

Noir narrator, face drooping: The gunshot bullet was like a bullet point shot chest, bulleting through man chest gun bullet shot gun heart

It is exactly BECAUSE Blue skidood that we can, too.

Stubbed my pecker on a rock

I asked him if he was sentient and he just locked up and turned red hot

A “metal man” just tried to rob me with his “finger gun”. I don’t think it’s actually a working gun it’s just kinda shaped like one. His welding looks like shit

Learning how to do drone sounds with my mouth to fuck with future veterans

Magic isn’t real dumbass. Except for a few spells, idiot

Dude get out of my fucking face before I slay you

A few of my friends have started worshiping me

It’s matcha, dumbass. And no one knows what it tastes like

We’re executing our city’s comptroller tomorrow. He did a bad job.

Crusader Kings III would be a really cool game if it had multiplayer

Many people use hydrogen and oxygen atoms in their work

Hydrogen and oxygen are two very popular atoms