I wake up in the mornin' I can’t yet raise my weary head I got my dad’s arm for a pillow And the womb was last night's bed I don't know who I am yet Only God knows who I’ll be I'm a newborn on the run The next young brother And my cradle’s callin’ me, yeah

Y’all, I haven’t laughed like that in a good long while. B.A. thought it was because the story is hilarious(reasonable), and I.T. was just bewildered. Needless to say, I’m quite fond of B.A.’s take on the Sly Fox character.

So I’m getting toward the end of the story, when the Stinky Cheese Man is riding on the Sly Fox’s back. Me: “Oh man, what is that funky smell?!” B.A.: “OH MAN, WHAT IS THAT F***ING SMELL?!” 3/4

Two things you should know about B.A.: 1. He’s heard this book so many times, he knows it by heart, and 2. He’s at a very “repeating” stage in his development. His pronunciation isn’t great, though. 2/?

Story time! So, I’m reading B.A.’s favorite book to him for bedtime - “The Stinky Cheese Man, and other fairly stupid tales”. His favorite story IN said book is, naturally, The Stinky Cheese Man. 1/3

Final score prediction‼️‼️‼️ Week 9️⃣ edition. Whoever gets it correct i will send you to the next Miami Dolphins home game OR a jersey of your choice👀🐬 How to win: Have to be following @FinsPhanatics Retweet this tweet 🔁 Comment your prediction 🔥🤌🏼 GOODLUCK! #PhinsUp

Daughter dressed up as a “clown Dolphins fan” for Halloween.

If the Brewers make it to World Series (not happening) I'll be buying whoever likes and reposts this, a Brewers jersey of their choice. #MagicBrew

My wife and I are rewatching Shaun of the Dead. This scene comes up. Wife: “Tyreek?!” Ice. Cold.

*sad skeleton noises*

“The butt wants what the butt wants.” #OutOfContextBryleigh

I.T. has decided in his Halloween costume. No, I didn’t force it on him. I didn’t even suggest it! Boy just has good taste.

My daughter is a psychopath. I pointed out that her bread wasn’t aligned on her sandwich - the top slice pointed one way, and the other slice pointed the other - and it DIDN’T BOTHER HER. I told her her sandwich looks AI generated.

As they say in NFL circles, MVP season loading.

The girls are away on assignment, so I.T. chose a campfire dinner. Well done, my son.

B got the lead role in a theater camp version of Beetlejuice the Musical, and absolutely crushed it. So proud of this kid.

I.T. hates carrots. I.T. was just eating shredded carrots out of a “stir fry veggie mix”. I.T. thought the carrots were “frozen cheese”. No one correct I.T.

BA apparently thinks the Great Wakkarotti is the funniest damn thing to have ever existed. This was his first time seeing it. I’m… I’m just so proud.

*returning from a friend’s house* “Hey dad, we found some random guy, so we frisked him, and he had a handgun on him and NO permit for it!” #OutOfContextBryleigh

Oh, and before you think I’m slighting Bryleigh with this post, make that two kids with high honors. I’m living the American dream. I’m raising kids that are much, much smarter than me. 5/5

But I know the question on your mind. Did she get straight As? You bet your butt she did. She also got Magna Cum Laude in the National Latin Test(pictured), and achieved high honors in her class. 4/