Heal__thy__homegirl
@RachelK__
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Recovering hard woman in her softer season. I share my healing journey and inspire other women to heal. It’s healing season 🦋
Baltimore, MD
Joined March 2010
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I’m in love with my life. I feel safe in my body. My nervous system is resting. My mind no longer races all day. I’m in control of my emotions. I set boundaries. I express my needs. I validate my feelings. I balance my emotions with logic. I’m no longer codependent. I’m free.
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Stop being the go to person, and go lay down. You need your rest. You don’t always have to be available.
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Healing will require you to drop the tough girl act. The tough girl that’s rigid and stoic. The tough girl that doesn’t give af, but deep down she gives a lot of fucks. The tough girl that won’t allow anyone in or allow her emotions to get out. The tough girl that pretends as if
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When you heal, your attractions do too. You vibrate higher. You demand more. You don’t settle for less. You’re unapologetic. You feel. You know your worth. You believe in you. You set boundaries. You free yourself from every space, face and place that held you back
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Ladies, the moment you stop making your life about men, you stop romanticizing men, idolizing men, living your life in a way that men say you should live, even when it does not feel comfortable for you, you will free your mind, body and soul from the grips of men. This is not
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It is such a beautiful feeling to be able to empathize with a person that has hurt me, while understanding the state they were in when hurting me. What’s even more beautiful is finally being at a place where although I understand, imma set boundaries to protect me. Period.
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she doesn’t need anybody, when she’s really tired of feeling like she’s never had anyone. The tough girl that’s been keeping you from what you want, while taking you back to what you don’t need. Release her. She hasn’t been doing a good job of protecting you anyway. You’re
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Girlies, this is a reminder that you are not living a soft life if you live above your means, you spend emotionally, you are easily influenced into purchasing and you are always chasing money. That’s survival. That’s not ease, flow or soft. That’s stress, anxiety and depression.
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Ladies, learn to love yourself and validate your own worth so you will not be needy of validation from men. As you can see, there are men out here that do not like women. They like what women have to offer. They like what women can do for them. They like women’s body parts, but
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Pray for revelations on what you need to heal within you. Pray for the discernment to see and understand what is being revealed. Pray for the strength to do the necessary work. Pray for courage so you actually do the work, instead of neglecting yourself like you know to do.
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hurting almost everyday.
Are you ready to take your armor off?
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I definitely picked my man from the grown mature woman in me. I remember being with my ex, not being fulfilled. I remember telling myself, constantly, I need grown man energy . The issue was, I was choosing from the little girl in me. I didn’t realize until my healing, how much
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Get comfortable with saying “That don’t have nothing to do with me, I got enough on my plate.”
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about being anti-men. There are some really great men out here. This is about you. This is about your ability to feel secure on your own without tying your self, your value, your beliefs, your femininity, to a man. Who are you? What is a woman to you? How do you believe you
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Halle Bailey is extremely beautiful. Not only on the outside also within. Her and Chloe have such beautiful, healing spirits. They are angels on earth. I love listening to their interviews. Their auras are so pure and amazing. I came across their older sister on YouTube
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I choose peace. I choose prosperity. I choose love. I choose joy. I choose to focus on the beauty of life. I have the power to choose. So do you. What do you choose?
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should talk, walk, dress, present yourself to the world? What do you like to do? Do you want children? Do you want anymore children? What activities do you like? Do you want to have sex? Do you prefer to be celibate? What is your why, what, when, how and where for you? Without
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I absolutely love that I am able to balance my logic with emotions. I love that I am understanding, even when it is something affecting me. I love that I am rational and reasonable. I love that I am able to see things from many different perspectives. I dislike that there aren’t
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you looking to a man for approval. Work on figuring out you. Like I said, there are great men out here. However, when you are operating from insecurities you tend to entangle with men who are insecure as well. Leading you to become what you need to be in order to be a
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Put the phone down. Log out of everyone else’s lives, and log into yours. Self needs you. Self is tired of trying to get to you through all the distractions. Self is the priority. Not a timeline, celebrity news, gossip, drama, or the latest debate
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Anything that you have to force is not for you. That relationship, friendship, living arrangement, lifestyle, eating habit, job, family. Not for you. Your energy does not resonate with its energy, so it is a vibrational mismatch. The negative symptoms and backlash is your sign.
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I am a woman who is secure because I admitted to myself I was insecure. I am a woman who is not attached because I admitted to myself I had attachment issues. I am a woman who accepts my body just the way it is, because I admitted I hated my body. I am a woman who no longer
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You’re upset because someone isn’t meeting your needs, but you’re keeping yourself in a space where your needs aren’t being met. Make it make sense 🤔. Who’s the real culprit? Them or you?
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they do not like women. They like when you suck, fuck, cook, clean, they like to use your resources, your car, your house, your money, but they don’t like you. They lack empathy, understanding and emotional intelligence, so they aren’t able to feel you or feel for you.
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she had been running my life. I wasn’t with a mature man, because I was not a mature woman. Sitting down and seeing myself, showed me just how immature I really was. Taking a look over my life decisions, showed proof. He wasn’t my problem. My problem was in me.
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insecure, lacking sense of self match for him.
It’s healing season, girlies.
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I do not date men who do not know how to be gentlemen, who lack chivalry, who do not have experience in engaging a mature woman. I no longer provide on the job training. I took the time to learn about men and what they need from women, since I wasn’t taught. Men can do the same.
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I asked for a man who is emotionally available. I’ve done a ton of healing my issues with emotional availability. I knew I would be pushed to heal further in an intimate space with an emotionally available man, but damn. Last night I journaled, cried and almost threw up. I caught
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When you lack love for yourself and you don’t see your value, you will continue to align with these types of men. They are showing you what you are lacking within. You will chase, trying to make them meet your needs. This chase will make you question your worth even more.
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In order to heal, you have to go towards the experiences you keep running from. You have to face them. You have to hit rewind. Stop it right before the event. Then, press play. Sit through the uncomfortable emotions. Allow yourself to talk about and process it. Then, release.
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Ladies, a gentleman is a man who is gentle with you. When you are use to being tossed around, neglected, disrespected, abandoned, manipulated, cursed at, vagina constantly drilled like it’s a construction sight, you may perceive a gentleman as being weak. He’s not. He’s gentle.
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Sis, it’s important you do the inner work to heal so you can discern when a man is leading you from love or leading you from control. This will be hard for the women who have never had healthy male leadership. This will be hard for women who have dealt with a man using leadership
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The answer to all of this is you. You need you. You need to be there for you. You need to take the time to learn and love you. You need to stop chasing external validation, heal and evolve. Once you start healing, clearing up old burdens, and love you, you will see other men who
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Y’all dating is so tiring to me. It isn’t because of men being a problem. I’ve been dating some really great guys, we just weren’t for each other in the longterm. The tiring part is doing the same thing over and over, person after person. The conversations, the questions, feeling
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Ladies, please be willing to spend money on coaching or therapy if it’s necessary for guidance during your healing journey. Y’all will spend money on nails, hair, eyebrows, lashes, surgeries, a man, your gas tank when he brings it back on E, but you won’t use your money to change
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Girlies, this is your reminder that 30 is not old. You anticipated turning 18 and being grown, just to feel like death is knocking 12 years later? That doesn’t make sense. Instead of focusing on your age, focus on creating a healthy lifestyle and ignoring the “hit the wall” talk.
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Why is failure discussed as such a bad thing? We are human, not robots. We aren’t programmed to get everything right and even computers glitch and make mistakes. When we fail at something we can position ourselves better to go back at it again.
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Sometimes you don’t need to say anything at all. You just need to be there. Don’t stress yourself trying to find the words to say, to make things better. Sometimes there are no words that can make it better. There are times that you just being there is more than enough.
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Your healing journey will require your tears, your heartache, your pain, your guilt, shame, resilience, your strength, and weaknesses, the stories you’ve created, your masks, your fear, you’re faith, your surrendering. Healing requires a lot. Healing is worth all it requires.
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Y’all my man is so good to me. He brings me so much peace, safety, protection and guidance. I thank him, I tell him I appreciate him, and I love him so many times a day. It’s like I can’t stop. I’m filled with so much gratitude for him. Such a healing and divine relationship.
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are doing the same. You don’t see or fully accept them now, because you don’t know what that truly looks or feels like. Heal you and your view in life will
change.
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Sis, be clear on what YOU want in YOUR life. There are distractions in the real world. There are tons of distractions on social media. I was able to receive gift after gift on my healing journey, because I got clear on who I was, what I wanted and the path to get there. There
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The issue with being guarded while trying to build a relationship is your closed. You aren’t open. How can you build a relationship when you’re closed off, your mask is on, you are on edge, waiting to get got? Does that even make any sense? You don’t trust them, because you
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During my very extended period of isolation, while I was doing my healing work, one of the many things I researched was my dating habits, the men I would choose, the messaging I received, the messaging society gives about choosing men. I also researched men, what they look
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You will need to stop judging yourself in order to heal. You can’t heal what you look at as bad, shameful, embarrassing, etc. It’s hard to claim something that you condemn.
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Girlies, allow yourself to experience healthy masculine energy from a man, without being in your head. I didn’t say have sex. This can be a man carrying your bags, fixing something for you, teaching you, protecting you, opening a door, or just being in his energy. If you believe
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@nottydesignss
It depends on the person. Tapping back into that energy may be too much for some. However, tapping back into it can be therapeutic. If a person is denying it because they don’t want to face the emotions, that can be harmful.
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Your healing is about you. If you aren’t use to prioritizing you, pouring into you, being there for you, healing will be a challenge for you to surrender to. Surrender, sis. It’s time you do something for you.
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Ladies this is a reminder, maybe this isn’t your season to date and settle down. Maybe this is your season to get in tune with you. Get to know you, study you, learn you and heal you so you can love you the way you have been yearning to be loved. This is why it is important to
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I really wish so many women would learn the art of releasing, letting go, severing ties with what isn’t good for them. Y’all hold onto because you’re lacking. Holding onto negative experiences, anger, hurt, friends that don’t do it for you, men who drain you, jobs that barely pay
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Gworls, if you desire a man that will protect you, please understand he will need to give you instruction when necessary. I protect my daughter and because of that, I lead and guide her where and when I see necessary. That’s what protectors do. Heal so you will hear the love
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I won’t lie, I thoroughly enjoyed my solitude during my deep healing. It wasn’t what I wanted to do but it was necessary. The more time I spent alone getting to know me, the more I connected with me, the more I fell in love with me. I spent two years and three months in isolation
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Homegirls, when it comes to your healing, you have to do what you have to do, regardless of who feels what about it. Your healing is for you, not anyone else. You may be faced with releasing people, having tough conversations expressing what you’ve been holding onto, saying no,
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Healing is never ending. It’s not a one stop shop. You’ll resolve wounds and they’ll resurface. You have to be extremely aware that you aren’t going back to feeding them the same poison that once kept you ill
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Giving your children the things you never had. Being what you needed as child. Buying them what you didn’t have as a child. Being the parent you needed as a child. All I hear is “I” and “me”. Self centered thinking. Parenting from your unresolved pain. Believing that if you give
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He’s so patient and understanding. Last night I answered myself with, “I am worthy of this. I asked for it. I healed enough so I could even get to this place without running and never returning. I deserve this. I’m worthy of this. It’s what I need to continue the healing work.”
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When you stay true to you, you will connect with what and who is for you. When you deviate from your authentic self, you will box yourself in, go down a path that was not designed for you, feeling disconnected and not understanding why
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Stop holding onto things you know you won’t use. Stop holding onto outfits, waiting for the perfect time to wear them. Stop holding onto thoughts that need to become actions. Stop holding onto people that no longer give you what you need. Stop holding onto negative experiences.
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Dating this mature man has been so fun. He’s pursuing me. He’s consistent. He’s an effective communicator. He is clear about what he wants and where he wants to go with me. His energy matches mine. It reminds me of how I feel within. So beautiful. So light. It’s such a good vibe.
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I don’t have trust issues anymore. I have a discerning spirit and wisdom
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I could really live in the middle of nowhere away from everyone, surrounded by nature and I would be so happy
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myself questioning whether I was worthy of him. He is emotionally available, vulnerable, completely open with me like it’s nothing. I’m moving slow, making sure to move consciously, while allowing myself to feel, seeing where I close off and gently guiding myself to open back up.
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Social media breaks throughout the day are top tier. We are already consumed with our own thoughts. We do not need the constant weight of others thoughts. Release the need to be constantly plugged into what drains you.
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Rule
#1
on living a life of luxury. Understand that luxury is within you. That way, nothing outside of you can define whether you’re luxurious or not. Anything of luxury you have or do is an extension of the luxury that is you.
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Homegirls, I really want to encourage y’all to stay out of these women vs men and women vs women battles that are going on out here. A lot of people are speaking from their pain and if you devour their words, you get sick. Mind your business. Focus on your healing. Focus on your
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and my God, she is such a reflection of them. I know it is such a blessing to be in their presence. They are so gentle, kind, loving and sweet. They bring tears to my eyes.
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Men are being given a lot of access to sex with women. While women are tired of having to be strong, while feeling unprotected. Ladies, we are at a disadvantage. Rewards are being given when the work isn’t being done. If you know you are a gift, why are you giving of yourself, in
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Repeat after me: I can love you, and still put me first.
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Stop worrying about whether it’s good enough, if ppl will like it, if it needs to be revised for the millionth time. You only have one set of eyes, there are a million others that need to see what it is that you are afraid of sharing. Stop doubting yourself, you’re amazing
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Some people do not want to get better. They don’t want to change. They have made up in their mind, that they are who they are. Even if their lips tell a different story, pay attention to their patterns. In a person’s patterns you’ll find their truth.
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I use to be hard as fuck, so I know a hard woman when I see one. After interacting with hard women, since becoming softer, more receptive and vulnerable, here are three boundaries I’ve had to set with myself.
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Remember, your feelings do not need to make sense. Also, you do not need to try and make sense of them, or figure them out. You need to feel them. Let them come up. Experience them. Do not allow them to control you. Control you into running from them or reacting to them.
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There are some people out here with a good heart. If you don’t believe so, that’s saying you aren’t one.
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Ladies until you realize your love is the best love you will ever experience, you will continue to go outside to get the feeling of being loved. Your love is always with you. Your love will never leave you. You always have access to your love. The issue is, you don’t access it.
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I remember when dysfunctional relationships with men were what I needed. They made me feel safe, until I didn’t. I knew chaos. My mind knew chaos. My body knew chaos. Men that were calm, who came with the desire of a relationship or marriage, scared tf out of me. I would try to
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Forgiveness isn’t easy. And going back and forth with someone that continues to hurt you will make your process harder.
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If we can’t have a conversation without you turning it into a screaming match, we wont be talking. Be mature enough to manage your emotions, before coming to the table and during the conversation. Nothing gets resolved with a bunch of emotions at play. That’s growth
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The less time I spend with myself, the less of myself I become. External messaging distracts me from internal messaging. Being intimate with me, takes me higher
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Being guarded while attempting to build relationships is like inviting someone to your home, but instead of giving them your real address you have them meet you in a place where you feel safe. You never allow them into your home, because you don’t feel safe. They never really
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When you are attempting to conquer something outside of your comfort zone, you will not have the capacity for peoples negative thoughts and opinions. You’ll be to busy going up against your own.
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I’m enjoying me time. I’ve never taken intentional time to work on, learn, discover and evolve with myself. The only relationship I need right now is the one I have with myself. Love with another will find me when it’s time. Until then I’ll be growing & becoming more authentic
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Stop minding everyone else’s business, so you can start to program your mind to focus on yours.
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suffers from an abandonment wound because I admitted I had abandonment issues. I am a woman who no longer sabotages relationships because I recognized why I was sabotaging and held myself accountable. I am a woman who no longer deprives myself of food while
doing a ton of cardio
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a lot of women or men that are able to do the same. I’m tired of the “women are emotional, men are logical” argument. It’s rare I meet a man that’s able to balance emotion with logic. That’s the real gift. Not just one or the other. Using both or either when necessary.
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When your “I wonder what others will think” programming kicks in. Kick it back out by reminding yourself that if you tried to please everyone, you would go crazy. You would be everywhere. Lots of people will have something to say. Focus on the voice inside of you. Focus on you
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For the rest of my life I’m playing chess. I’m being strategic, moving in a manner that makes sense and aligns with my goals. No more selling myself a fairytale.
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February won’t have anything for you, if you don’t have anything for it. The cute phrases are fine, just make you’re aligning them with focus, intent, discipline and action. Don’t let March arrive, and you’re still stuck in January
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I’m finding my tribe. My tribe is finding me. Women that want to heal. Women that are healing. Women that are running away from their healing, but know it’s time to surrender. Women who are tired of being tired. Women who are ready to leave survival. Women who are ready to rest
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Homegirl, having options is amazing. When you know your worth, you operate from your power, align with and believe you deserve what is on your path, you have options. When you don’t, you settle. When you live in fear, you settle. When you lack faith, you settle. It feels amazing
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I remember when I use to feel the need to stay attached to people. Funny thing, I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing, because I swore I didn’t give a fuck. Healing exposed me and all my behaviors. Gratefully, I don’t operate from codependency anymore. I’m at peace with
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When you force yourself to unsee what you clearly see, you miss the lesson. See it, read it, believe it, learn from it, move on. You stick around when you make yourself believe that things aren’t what they truly are. You stick around because you feel the need to be stuck
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You don’t want to be the 70 year old that is still guarded, trying to make yourself believe you don’t gaf, holding onto outdated toxic connections, sabotaging everything for your good, angry with yourself, but posting like your life is top tier. Do the work for your elderly self
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Girlies, this is your reminder that intellectualizing your feelings and actually feeling them are two different things. Instead of allowing the feelings to rise up and come over you, you go over the details, talking about how you feel, trying to make sense of it all.
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Ladies, don’t allow men to make you believe that at 30 time is running out and at 35 you’ve hit the wall and no man will want you. Those are words from a wounded heart. Live your life, do your work, focus on you, and a man you are aligned with will show up in your life
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In order to become cold with others, you have to become cold within yourself. Yea, you’re hurting others, but you’re also hurting yourself
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I’m no longer settling
I’m no longer sabotaging
I’ll be gentle with myself
This is new territory
What’s for me is already mine
I will get out of my way so I can get it
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One thing I’ve learned and I have to continuously tell myself is, when you have a gift and you’ve been given a mission, all that adhering to an algorithm or social media structures doesn’t exist. You’ve been given a mission to carry out and that’s what you do. I use to see the
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