Dads

We live exciting lives

For some reason I do not look good today

Really just don’t like white claws. They’re not good. They don’t get the job done. Waste of cals. Bleh.

Sometimes when I’m bored at work I just chug caffeine and see what happens

This might be the best one they’ve ever done, omg

I listened to white noise to fall asleep for one week and the next thing I know my entire discover weekly is ONLY dumb baby music

saw this in a dream

He is so helpful #dads

When the simulation breaks

I am high on life on Wednesdays. They have been promoted to my favorite day of the week. #iloveyouhumpday

Well, today started like any other day... except when a lemon seed got lodged into my fancy Hydoflask straw but I had no idea until it shot down my throat and I was left fighting for my life all while sitting at my desk at work.

https://t.co/yOBY3WH0dx

Kids mic’d up during coach pitch baseball>MLB players mic’d up

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

My only flaw is my inability to hand write a check.

I have a lot of bread to get this month

It’s July

My only flaw is that I will explode stuff in the work microwave.

Welcome to my world 🥲