when u open the front-facing camera on accident

I love you, Pippa.

Pondering. Considering. Trying very hard to have a Thought.

What movie made you feel like this in 2025?

Nelson snores like your grandpa.

Crypto bros in a nutshell:

For real, buy yourself something nice. Love Nelson’s face? Here. Scratch that itch and help pay for his insurance next year (which will certainly be more than this year’s $618). Most things in his official shop are on sale right now: https://t.co/guJkbaTF28

(The thought of people risking their real money bc Nelson’s face inspired them to invest in a digital black hole is sickening. 🫠)

Stop investing your money in random crypto projects with my face on it and go buy yourself something nice instead. Or buy me snacks. My snack drawers are only half full.

1. Anyone saying I’ve contacted them about a crypto opportunity is lying to you. 2. I made an IP licensing agreement with @WalterDogSolana last year in the hopes that giving SOMEONE rights would stop the constant deluge of bs. 3. Go photograph your own dog to make coins with. 👋

Who let him drive? He doesn’t have a license. The interstate is in shambles. 😩

I didn’t mean to RT that ghost video on Nelson’s account, but it has to stay up now, by law. Sorry for scaring anybody. 🫣

haters will say its fake

toasted marshmallow

The new @pantone color of the year reminds me of something. Just can't put my finger on it.

Nelsonmom later tonight:

Uh-oh. Prepare for lemon pepper potato chip Nelson farts.

Why wear a sweater when Mom will turn on the space heater for me if I shiver? 😌

Nelson: *gets cold easily* Also Nelson: *refuses to wear sweaters*

pig in a blanket

https://t.co/ymbdtdZCbm