My attempt at photographing my sleeping cat

I have completed my morning routine of attempting, once again, to get a refund from @SportsDirectUK and, once again, feel like I need to burn things.

Bitcoin’s on fire at $112K! Time to flip the charts on BTCC!.Exploring Cryptocurrency with Jaren Jackson Jr.🏀.

I have had a thorough telling off from my GP for not seeking medical attention sooner (I don’t like to be a bother) after I dropped a knife on my foot a couple of weeks ago. Also I’ve severed a tendon in my foot and will probably never be able to move my big toe again. Le sigh.

My sister has informed me that in Welsh jellyfish translates as ‘sea cunts’ and I would now like to relocate to Wales.

New way of getting rid of your family announced. I can’t say I’m not tempted right now.

How do you like them apples?

I’ve been camping with my family and we had a ten minute argument about whether there were 11 or 12 of us while trying to sort out dinner. Not to brag or be a dick but 3 of the 11 have a PhD. My brother was including a random child who was near us at the time in the counting.

Zohran Mamdani: He votes for activists, not you

Ooh, someone had chalked St George’s crosses onto the zebra crossing. I genuinely thought it was just happening in places where the protests were taking place. This country is at so much more of a breaking point than most people seem to appreciate.

RT @SarahSurviving: Around this time last year I had to write my witness statement for court and it was the pits. I’d already released my m….

The reign of terror this child has caused by insisting we constantly go camping may have finally ended by his discovery of a Tesla.

If you think Devon a crime free is idyllic county I’m very sorry to break it to you but someone has torn up some haikus (along with the instructions!) in a hut. A plea has been made for replacement haikus.

I’m going to drink it anyway and pretend.

I’ve made a terrible mistake.

RT @jk_rowling: I see Nicola Sturgeon is once again complaining that I posted a picture of myself wearing a T-shirt with her name on it and….

I’ve seen this, though.

I’m increasingly wondering if I’m living in a simulation. Why is the pony (who is no longer the mayor but still has his chain of office) wearing a flag in the chippie?. I’m going home. There’s no mayor ponies or museums about Kiribati at home.

The truth is, most people are guessing what’s best for them. Without tracking your data, it’s impossible to know if your “health stack” is working—or just draining your wallet. 📲 Your data is the only real test. Tracks yours with the Rejuve Longevity App

My local museum recently sacked a load of volunteers who had volunteered for decades and now, in an incredibly random move, has dedicated itself to Kiribati fishing techniques.

I’m suffering from overwhelming malaise. Everything is too mad.

RT @jk_rowling: This makes me both sad and angry. An incredibly talented writer and a thoroughly decent human being (the two are by no mean….

A rather stark escalation in the dementia test.

Does anyone know anything about vines? The base of my vine looks nice and healthy but the ends are all dried up and shrivelled.